Full Open Bar for wedding party VS. Beer/Wine/Soda for all other guests

Krista1213

I am new to this, but was wondering your thoughts on having a complete open bar (anything that is ordered from the bar) during the cocktail hour for all guests, and then after dinner starts continue to have a complete open bar for the wedding party and parents, but for any and all other guests the open bar would consist of beer, wine, and soda.  If they wanted mixed drinks they would still be available, but on a cash only basis.

What do you think???  Obviously it would be easy for the bartenders to distinguish them because they would be dressed pretty much the same....

I want all of our guests to have a good time, but can't afford to pay for mixed drinks the entire night.  I do want to cover them for the wedding party as an extra thank you.

megk8oz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_full-open-bar-wedding-party-vs-beerwinesoda-other-guests?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:5055ea4c-01b3-40ff-b253-6098079fcfc4Post:1ea9c2aa-eadf-4264-b905-29ed7aa2d622">Full Open Bar for wedding party VS. Beer/Wine/Soda for all other guests</a>:
[QUOTE]I am new to this, but was wondering your thoughts on having a complete open bar (anything that is ordered from the bar) during the cocktail hour for all guests, and then after dinner starts continue to have a complete open bar for the wedding party and parents, but for any and all other guests the open bar would consist of beer, wine, and soda.  If they wanted mixed drinks they would still be available, but on a cash only basis. What do you think???  Obviously it would be easy for the bartenders to distinguish them because they would be dressed pretty much the same.... I want all of our guests to have a good time, but can't afford to pay for mixed drinks the entire night.  I do want to cover them for the wedding party as an extra thank you.
Posted by Krista1213[/QUOTE]

Putting your guests in tiers is rude. WP and parents are important, yes, but they shouldn't get any "special" treatment as far as food and drinks are concerned.

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]Bad idea.  It sends a bad message to your other guests that they're second-class, and there's nothing stopping your wedding party from just getting free drinks for other guests all night.  I would do just beer, wine, and soda all night, for everybody.
Posted by aerinpegadrak[/QUOTE]

This is worth repeating.  Please treat all of your guests equally.  If beer, wine and soda for all guests, all night is in your budget then go with that option.

Krista1213

Ok. Thanks!  Yeah, then I will just do beer, wine, and soft drinks all night.  I really appreciate all the feedback.  I don't want to single out anyone or make anyone not feel important, that is for sure!

mbcdefg

Not cool to do it during the reception.

If you are allowed to buy some special drinks for the limo ride, and/or if you can bring drinks to your hotel room for an after-party with the wedding party (or if you want to hit a bar together once the reception ends), do it then. Once the other guests are not there.

ohwhynot

Apparently, some people do it - my coworker went to a wedding where the wedding party wore wristbands and got free drinks.  At our venue, the bar manager suggested we could supply OUR table with champagne but not the rest of our guests.  I couldn't believe my ears. 

I'm glad to read that you won't be doing this. 

trix1223

Hooray for another newbie who listens and understands what people are telling her!  Congrats to you.

Your question was not unusual.  It has come up several times, and the responses are always the same.  I have to say, I'd be p!ssed if I  took the time to travel to my niece's wedding, bought attire, took off from work, bought a present, and then went to bar and asked for the same drink the BM was drinking only to be told "Oh no, those are just for the special guests."  Really?

aerinpegadrak

I agree with malphabet that you can find another time to pamper your WP.  If the mixed drinks are going to be available for cash all night, perhaps you could slip them each a $20 before the reception to cover that cost; it's basically the same gesture on your part, but done discreetly.  For my wedding, we're probably going to have a couple of bottles of champagne for when we get back from the photo tour to grab a snack and freshen up before the ceremony.

banana468

There is NO way to do this for the WP without it being considered rude.

I was the date of the WP member and I can tell you, when the table found out that DH (then BF) had free drinks while ANYTHING we wanted was cash, they didn't think the hosts were being too nice.

sep72fendr

im new to this as well... but what about 2-3 signature drinks just for cocktail hour, then do open wine, beer, soda for the rest of the reception?

gottahavashorti

[QUOTE]im new to this as well... but what about 2-3 signature drinks just for cocktail hour, then do open wine, beer, soda for the rest of the reception?
Posted by sep72fendr[/QUOTE]

You might want to have the same offerings for the entire event to prevent confusion for your guests.