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Tacky reception?? XP

nelmenaninelmenani
10 Comments
in Wedding Reception Forum
My husband and I had a day planned for our wedding, and have started all the planning - however, because he is in the military and could be deployed soon, we went to the courthouse for a legal marriage.
My question is, how tacky would it be if instead of having a full on wedding, we have the reception/party to help us save money; and in this situation is it ok to request gifts or small tokens as a congratulations for our marriage, or request their prescence as a gift?
We will still provide a dinner, dancing, and gifts for everyone to take home. Just minus the ceremony since we both feel it is irrelevant.
I know it is my special day, but given the circumstances, it would either be this way, or wait until he returns to have a wedding....
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Re: Tacky reception?? XP

  • lyndausvilyndausvi mod
    Moderator Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its
    edited August 2012
    well receptions are the biggest expense of a wedding. Not sure how that will say you money.

    It's NEVER okay to request gifts.  Not for any event.  

    ETA - I think it's perfectly fine to have a party to celebrate you wedding.  






    What differentiates an average host and a great host is anticipating unexpressed needs and wants of their guests.  Just because the want/need is not expressed, doesn't mean it wouldn't be appreciated. 
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  • nelmenaninelmenani
    10 Comments
    Sorry, forgot to note it earlier, we have a friend that does catering/BBQ and owes us a favor and offered his services.

    I think a party celebrating the wedding will be just fine by us. I was just wanting to be sure and not offend the guests...
    Thanks !!
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  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    Since you are already married, it would be impossible to have a wedding in the future.  A party to celebrate your recent wedding makes sense.

    You never expect or even mention gifts, no matter what kind of party you are having.  Dinner and dancing sounds great.  
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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_tacky-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:58a6266c-7fa3-4fa5-b528-8d66f4f08523Post:a175859b-23a1-4810-a91c-3f707bfcfa4a">Tacky reception?? XP</a>:
    [QUOTE]My husband and I had a day planned for our wedding, and have started all the planning - however, because he is in the military and could be deployed soon, we went to the courthouse for a legal marriage. My question is, how tacky would it be if instead of having a full on wedding, we have the reception/party to help us save money; and in this situation is it ok to request gifts or small tokens as a congratulations for our marriage, or request their prescence as a gift? We will still provide a dinner, dancing, and gifts for everyone to take home. Just minus the ceremony since we both feel it is irrelevant. <strong>I know it is my special day, but given the circumstances, it would either be this way, or wait until he returns to have a wedding....</strong>
    Posted by nelmenani[/QUOTE]

    You already had a wedding.....your special day has come and gone by going to the courthouse.  It may not be the day you always envisioned, but you are married.

    If you want to have a party to celebrate, that's fine.....but it should in no way be a wedding reception nor should it mention anything about gifts.
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  • lilfaeriebratlilfaeriebrat
    10 Comments

    I went to a wedding in April for some friends. They had been planning the wedding for a year or so but decided that in December to just go to the court house and get married there. All their plans were still made and deposits were made so they still had their wedding in April. I'm not sure if everyone knew that they were already legally married or not. But at the April wedding they had their minister marry them in front of friends and family and then had their reception. It was still a very nice wedding even though they were married legally.

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  • JoanE2012JoanE2012 member
    5000 Comments 500 Love Its Fourth Anniversary 5 Answers
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_tacky-reception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:58a6266c-7fa3-4fa5-b528-8d66f4f08523Post:c66be977-f6a5-43e5-a9f8-45c5d75e9e7b">Re: Tacky reception?? XP</a>:
    [QUOTE]I went to a wedding in April for some friends. They had been planning the wedding for a year or so but decided that in December to just go to the court house and get married there. All their plans were still made and deposits were made so they still had their wedding in April. I'm not sure if everyone knew that they were already legally married or not. But at the April wedding they had their minister marry them in front of friends and family and then had their reception. It was still a very nice wedding even though they were married legally.
    Posted by lilfaeriebrat[/QUOTE]

    They were already married, so the minister ceremony was fake.  How nice of them to deceive their guests.....they must care about them so much.
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