What are the rules for having two receptions?

maballer33

Here is my problem...I have a long guestlist. For example, I have a very large family so they are many of my guests at my reception. On the other hand I have extended family as well as my fellow church members and friends. I was thinking of having a small gathering at the church and then a private reception...Is this tacky? How can I make sure that people aren't offended?

gottahavashorti

There's not a way to make sure people aren't offended by that.  Invite those you are able to host.  If you want to do something 'nicer' for a smaller portion of the guests, consider having a separate event a day or two before or after the wedding.

MyNameIsNot

Yes, that is tacky.  These are known as tiered receptions, and are considered rude.  You're basically separating your guests into "common" guests and "preferred" guests.  Everyone in the lower level is going to be hurt and feel left out.  They will think that you only invited them to the lower level reception to get a gift.  Not the message you want to send.  

You have a decision to make.  You can either cut the guest list down and invite those that you are able to treat to the nicer reception, or you can keep the large guest list and have a simple reception.  

trix1223

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_rules-having-two-receptions?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7cf04630-4265-4d47-867a-1c07d91efa5aPost:5d2abfa4-8163-4cd8-a7e8-c32a5653028f">What are the rules for having two receptions?</a>:
[QUOTE]Here is my problem...I have a long guestlist. For example, I have a very large family so they are many of my guests at my reception. On the other hand I have extended family as well as my fellow church members and friends. I was thinking of having a small gathering at the church and then a private reception...Is this tacky? How can I make sure that people aren't offended?
Posted by maballer33[/QUOTE]

You can't make sure that people aren't offended because they will be.  You have two options here:

#1)  cut the guest list to what you can afford

#2)  have a smaller, simpler "cake and punch" type reception

You do have another option, now that I think about it

#3)  Postpone your wedding until you can save enough $$ for the full guest list and the big fancy party.

MeaghanandMichael

The rule is don't.

You seem to have answered your own question by realizing you feel you would have to hide the reception from some guests. Think about that gut reaction you had there and you certainly have your answer.