Father & Stepfather Dance Dilemma

KatieEHeim

My parents were married from before I was conceived until I was 18. My parents divorced when I went away to college and my mom remarried 2 years later. My stepdad is wonderful and has certainly done a lot for me in the 9 years he's been in our lives.

The problem is: I have always imagined dancing with my dad on my wedding day, and I am currently planning to do so. My mom really wants me to dance with my stepdad too, but I feel a little awkward about this as I always pictured this dance being between a daughter and the father that raised her. I don't know if I should just suck it up and do it to make my mom happy even though I really don't want to, or if I should explain to her that I want to ask my stepdad to dance to a special song, but not during the "spotlight" dances at the beginning of the night.

I know this might matter to some in making this decision so, my mom & stepdad gave me money towards my wedding and my biological father gave me the same amount of my towards my wedding.

Thanks for your help!

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_father-stepfather-dance-dilemma?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:7f0f4163-195a-4456-afdf-cedb136b3737Post:8bfe2fab-2bbc-4e2f-b0cb-54425376b006">Father & Stepfather Dance Dilemma</a>:
[QUOTE] I should explain to her that I want to ask my stepdad to dance to a special song, but not during the "spotlight" dances at the beginning of the night.
Posted by KatieEHeim[/QUOTE]

This was going to be my suggestion.

Don't treat the dances as a reward for those who contribute money. It should be about feelings, not cash. I understand that you want to treat your step-dad fairly since he's been kind to you and is also helping with the wedding, but your dad is still your dad. And if you feel that your dad should get the spotlight dance, then so be it. Your mom will get over it.

cvl105

I would suggest not doing it when all the other dances are done.  It would be a lot of dances back to back.  I did a dance with both my Dad and Stepdad.  I did my Father/Daughter dance at the normal time, right after our first dance.  I did my dance with my stepdad during dinner while everyone was eating.  I did want my stepdad to have a special dance, just me and him, so I'm a little different than you.  But you could always request the DJ to play a special song for you two to dance to, but not have everyone else leave the dance floor.