How do you pick a theme/ wedding colors?- envisioning your day

sandjpringle

I'm having a hard time setting a theme or envisioning my wedding date. I know there are things that I definitely don't like- but that's about as far and I've gotten. In terms of flobridesmaids dresses and ceremony decoration- do they have to match?  how did you guys envision your day?

I think I'm also having a hard time seeing how it all comes together- it seems there are so many details to plan out and I want to make sure to make the wedding personal but not drive myself crazy... how did you all deal with the details- is this your job or the event planner at the reception hall?  what is really involved in planning a great wedding and how do i get started?

I have some time but want to start to thinnk and envision...any advice?

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_how-do-you-pick-a-theme-wedding-colors-envisioning-your-day?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:8d315d62-e82e-4ede-b4d0-cd26fefcfbb9Post:f0fdc200-a2f6-4ac3-8aaf-09ea6b41bdb4">Re: How do you pick a theme/ wedding colors?- envisioning your day</a>:
[QUOTE]I picked my husband's favorite color for our wedding color. I think themes are silly. Think about an atomosphere and try to create that instead. That atmosphere should suit your personalities: romantic, whimsical, chic, traditional, modern, rustic, etc. 
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

All of this.  I chose purple and green as our colors because 1) I love that combo and 2) we got married in Raven's Stadium so there was already a lot of purple decorating our venue.

I wanted our venue to be pretty but also fun.  We wanted a party type atmosphere, hence why we picked the venue we did.  I feel like there are a lot of little details that a bride can get wrapped up in that many, if not most, of your guests won't even notice.

When first starting out focus on the big things first...location, photographer, DJ, wedding dress.  Once these are figured out and you have had a chance to immerse yourself, so to speak, in the wedding planning process you may have a better idea of what you want.

cwaggoner07

Flipping through wedding magazines, while overwhelming and sometimes silly, can really give you a sense of what you like. I would look through real weddings that were featured and figured out what 'look' I liked versus what I didn't. Don't let the magazines drive you crazy, because they can. I will say, though, I got most of my initial ideas from looking at other people's weddings, and once I had a foundation, I made other decisions based on H and I's preferences and personalities.

fallbride1109

When I closed my eyes and thought about my wedding, I saw golds, creams, and white flowers and I knew I wanted a big white wedding cake.  I wanted it to be elegant and classy.  I am very traditional so it's not surprising.  When we chose our venue, the linens were gold and alot of my vision just came together.

I was lucky in that I "saw" a vision for my wedding right away.  But like you, I still worried about bringing it all together.  I googled my wedding colors for inspiration boards, looked at Knottie bios and in magazines--but now you have Pinterest which is also another great source for inspiration.

I chose a design theme and incorporated it throughout the wedding. to sort of bring it all together.  Personal touches can really pull it all together--and for my traditional, classic wedding, it really helped to bring "us" into the wedding.

I handled all my details myself but wedding planners can be great as well if your budget allows.  As you start planning, the vision for your wedding will take shape, so don't worry too much about that.  Starting with a color scheme is a good idea and then just take it from there.

Knottie1450123632

i chose colors based our FI and I fav colors, but now my color is more accent. i fell in love with a particular color bridesmaid dress now trying to locate it.  we decided vegas so thats our "theme" but not a lot vegas stuff. 

cnf2013

We chose our colors based on a patch of tulips (FI's favorite flowers) outside the World Health Organization's building while on vacation in DC. I loved the orange and purple flowers and knew I wanted those colors someday. This was 8 months before FI proposed, but unknown to me he already had the ring. 

Our flowers are a combination of tulips (his favorite), gerbera daisies(my favorite) and tiger lilies that grow rampant at the summer camp we met at. 

We don't have a theme. It's unnecessary. we're throwing in little touches of "us" and leaving it at that. Baseball cake topper, summer camp themed grooms cake, tables named after all the places we've traveled to, etc. 

Don't focus on feeling like you have to like one particular theme. Find what you like and start putting ideas together to see if you like. You don't have to be able to envision everything together yet. Shoot, I still have very little idea of what details we plan to have and how it will look together. But honestly I don't care as long as our wedding represents us and we get married at the end of the day, I'll be happy. 

Candicejae

I just chose colors that I wouldn't get tired of, and that is also gender neutral and can be paired with many other colors (if I choose to incorporate other colors in the decor).  Our colors are gray and white.

I envisioned our wedding would be laid back and sort of "effortless".  I went with the "Counry Chic" theme.  I think it is carefree, and you can style and decorate any way you want. 

Oh and Pinterest is also one of my main sources of inspiration for ideas.

From what I know, as far as the details, I believe you are responsible for those.  The event planner at the reception hall is responsible for getting your event set up the day of your wedding/reception and making sure it runs smoothly.  If you have a wedding planner, he/she can help you iron out specific details.

Hope this helps! Congratulations and Happy Planning!!!

shanhou3

Totally understand... our wedding is in about 8 months and all the big stuff is booked, now I have to figure out the details (colors, theme?, attire, centerpieces, etc.) and I'm suddenly so overwhelmed!    It's really stupid, but trying to figure out all these details has literally kept me up at night stressing out.  You would think I'd have stressed more about the big stuff, but all of that was a piece of cake! 
It's very nice to hear people say they just picked things they liked and went with it because I feel like that's what we'll end up doing. I can't make decisions and I'm not an event planner (nor do I have one!) and it seems that every choice is a loaded one because someone in your fam/circle will have an opinion on it. Ugh. 
And it's true, when I go to a wedding I really don't think about these details anyway, I think about whether I'm having fun or not and that depends mostly on the people I'm with, the music, and the alcohol! :-)  It's just that looking at the knot, wedding magazines, and even talking with friends/family can start making you a little crazy feeling pressure to have everything look "put together." 
Good luck, I am sure we will both figure it out!! 

Ahamlin82

I went with a theme which helped me with my colors.  My fiance and I will be doing a "nautical" theme since he is a sailor and we belong to a yatch club, that was easy.  Once I had the theme, it helped me with the colors (navy blue, silver and yellow).   I completely agree with shannou...the big stuff is easy, it's all the details that are complicated.  Look around at other wedding's themes online, think about the season you are getting married, things you and or your fiance like to do and incorporate it! It's the little personal touches that people see at weddings that remind them of the couple!   Good luck!

JaneAustensGhost

I agree with PP, themes are silly.  I am getting married in England so I knew I wanted something really English.  I knew I wanted to get married in the country (not London) so I tried to find what was available in that area.  In the end I found a gorgeous historic inn with a great terrace overlooking a river.  

I thought that's all I need.  But after a while I began to see that a vibe was developing (not a theme, just a certain ambiance about it) that was very Great Gatsby.  Once I realized the idea of a big lawn party, it became easier to chose other things - the style of cake, for instance.

Just start with what you like, and eventually you'll find your style.  It wasn't instant for me, either.  Just give yourself time.

puppetrick

I have always always always wanted purple and silver to be my colors and to be married in a winter month; however, that didn't happen. I suddenly wanted to stressify my life more and get married in the summer (August! Egads, it's hot!) and have my favorite color combination as of late, pink and orange. We, like others, didn't have a THEME, but we DID have certain things we wanted at the wedding and reception - and when I say "we," I mean, "I" - my FI just wanted me to be happy. I decided to plan everything myself (why, I wanted to do this when I also was teaching summer school, taking care of my grandpa a state away for 2 weeks, and starting my new school year 2 days in as my maiden name and changing it after that weekend, is all beside the point ) and I think I did an AMAZING job! We figured I HAD to have the following: photobooth, Costco sheet cakes, BBQ, Hello Kitty cake topper, and cookie cutters for the favors (the fun plastic colorful ones in a variety of colors and shapes!). Everything else pretty much fell into place as well -  Pinterest helped out in my DIY "ideas" as did Craigslist for finding the photobooth (some use Groupon, but I found Craigslist had better deals for the hours I needed!). A free template online and the use of a friend's printer created our invitations. We found inflatable kids pools and filled them with ice for the drinks (super cute!) and bought circus animal cookies in pink and white, along with orange slices (gummies), pink and orange JellyBellies (bought in bulk), and Creamsicle Oreos and strawberry Oreos - pink, white, and orange abundance! I went as inexpensively as I could - had the agriculture teacher help me with ordering flowers ( and putting the bouquets/sets together), asked an "I-just-graduated" high school girl to photograph the wedding (she had done many "shoots" before - and she received a scholarship for her skills), and Costco, Costco, Costco was my BFF as far as the "bigger" items were concerned. We had a backyard reception with a lovely country view and no DJ or drinking, but we used an iPod and initiation of conversation to create mingling for hours upon hours! Great time and it actually went pretty easily for me. Good luck in finding colors you totally love! I love so many colors, but pink is so-so-so "me"!

alithebride

dh and i had an easy time choosing our theme. the theme was 'we got married'.

as for the colors and decor-they dont have to MATCH, they just have to coordinate. truth be told anything to matchy matchy irritates me anyway.

so you can totally have white, champange, red and orange or something-as long as they coordinate.

Magdala9

People pick themes to give a focus to the million little details that the wedding industy bombards you with. 

Step 1 is to figure out the size of your guest list (50-100-500).   For safety and sanity reasons, you do not put 100 people in a room set for 50. 

Step 2 is to pick out your venue.  Our venue helped us to determine the feel of our wedding.  We selected a ball room because DH loves to dance and wanted a huge dancefloor.  Since I wanted an elegant event, it fit my needs too.  If we had decided on the country fair dance barn, we would have had a very different feel to our wedding.

After we had the venue, we knew which direction that we were heading.  Our venue was decorated in creams and taupes and golds.  We decided on wedding colors of blues, gold, and ivory.  Blue happens to be DH's and my favorite color. When going through dresses with the bridesmaids, I fell in love with a shade of dark blue called marine.   Siince there are no true dark blue flowers and dyed flowers seems like a disaster waiting to happen, we added in yellow and orange flowers to pop against the blue.

Unless you hire an outside event planner, every decision belongs to the people paying for the wedding.  DH & I paid for our own so the decisions were ours.  If your parents and/or inlaws are paying or contributing to your wedding, their opinions should be given merit too. 

For a great wedding, you attend to the basic comforts of your guests.   In my crowd, that is good food, good bar,  comfortable room and dancing.  Different crowds have different needs.   What are the needs of your crowd?   I have been a bridesmaid seven times and have an enormous family.  The weddings that I remember fondly are the ones where these needs were met.   I also remember my brother getting married in a blizzard where I thought I would drive off the road getting from the church to the reception.  I also remember my cousin's freezing cold wedding on the beach where the guests suddenly scattered when thunder and lightning storms rolled in.   I also remember the rubber chicken and food poisoning served at my best friend's wedding.   These are not so fond memories.

My theme was elegant affair.  The bridesmaids and I wore long dresses.   The groomsmen and DH wore tuxedos with vests.  We held a cocktail hour followed by a three course plated dinner.   Everyone danced until the small hours of morning.    They all had a good time...or that was what they told me.   We invested in good food, good bar, good venue and good DJ.  I skipped fancy napkins, six foot centerpieces, dove release, aisle runners and a myriad of money grabs from the wedding industry.  

It seems overwhelming at first but you break each task down into small pieces and tackle one piece at a time. 

Knottie1450123632

nancyahrn- thats cool.  i havent heard of a bride taking inspiration from her ring.  not even sure i wouldve thought of that.  unique!

reppunzel

As others have said, I/we don't have a "theme," but I did know from the start what sort of feel I wanted (sacred space: church, chapel, etc.) and that really helped guide our venue selection.  Even though we eventually chose an outdoor space (which I never would have anticipated), it fits the ambiance we knew we were looking for (it feels like an outdoor cathedral).

For colors, I started out with my favorite:  burgundy.  But when I got to David's Bridal (which I knew we were going to need to use for affordability and because I have bridesmaids on two different coasts/3 different states), I didn't like their burgundy.  The swatch was lovely, but in a full dress, it took on a brownish cast that I didn't care for.  There was a shade of purple, though  that kept catching my eye in the catalog and in person and every time I thought "oh, that's pretty what color is that?", the answer kept being "lapis."  Because we were planning a fall 2012 wedding and FI really likes burgundy, too, I decided to keep it as an accent color (mostly in the form of deep red roses).  We've since moved the date to spring 2013, so the burgundy no longer really fit and we changed to soft, warm apricot as the accent (ribbon and flowers); groom and groomsmen will wear gray suits, so it all come together eventually, but there was a process.

So I'd suggest you start with thinking about what you and FI like:  just write everything down whether it seems to make sense or not.  Look through magazines or the picture galleries here on the Knot and notice what you are drawn to.  Consider the size and level of formality that you want, and general time of year and day.  Gradually, you'll begin to see something pull together, whether you can define it as a certain "theme" or not.  You may be surprised where you get ideas from!

As for the details ... I haven't gotten to that point yet, but I'm a detail person, so that stuff's fun to me.  My SIL, thankfully, has appointed herself as guardian of my sanity, and is helping me to *not* take on too much /  too many DIY projects, etc.