Wedding Reception Forum

Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour?

I understand that many people think that any form of cash bar (even if open is an option for a limited time) is eitiquelly inappropriate.  However, within my family and our culture it is considered appropriate and acceptable.  I was wondering if anyone else is doing an open bar for a limited time and how you alert guests of this (if you even do at all).  Also any signature drink ideas.  I was thinking appletine since our colors are chocolate and green and we may be using apples in the decor.  Ideas are welcome and appreciated.  Thanks in advance.

Re: Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour?

  • At my first wedding, we did open bar for an hour, then served only wine with the meal.  However, I think it is tough to switch from open to cash bar after an hour.  Guests either figure it out (and make a mad rush for the bar just before it becomes cash) or don't figure it out (and are resentful when they go to refill their drinks and have to pay).
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2010
    We went to a wedding where they had a bar and then it switched to cash.  It was a huge pain and confusing.  Everyone was complaining about how rude and annoying it was.

    Open the bar and serve what you can for as long as you can.  When the funds run out, close the bar.  Charging your guests for any part of your wedding is rude, even if they will put up with it.  
  • It's still rude and a violation of etiquette even if your family finds it acceptable. There is no way to annouce a cash bar except by word of mouth before the wedding.

    This site lets you search by color:
    http://www.spiritdrinks.com/

    Make sure that you're able to sample the drink before you decide on it to make sure that you (and your guests) actually like it.
  • Are all your guests from that social circle finding it acceptable?

    I've been to weddings in MA, but it's a shock when the bar changes over with no announcement.  More than once DH was caught bumming a ten from a friend of family because it was open for the first drink and it shifted with no word.

    So while that may be what YOU expect, unless ALL your guests are from that area, then they are probably going to find that what you propose to do is really quite rude.
  • Lasairiona thanks.  That website is very helpful.  Thanks to all others for input.  Here is more information.  The majority of the guestlist will not be offended or frustrated with a switch over.  They would not be offended even if it were completely cash bar.  Most of my family weddings have been entirely cash bar or switched over to cash after one hour.  I don't remember being informed of a switch when it occured at a wedding or just finding out when I went to get a drink (thats why I was asking how to announce), but word of mouth works (thanks).  My FI family is from Uganda were cash bars are the norm.  The Ugandan tradition also holds wedding meetings/fundraisers and request money from family/friends.  At some of these events (wedding meetings/fundraisers) they even cook and charge for plates, play games, place bets (of sorts) to raise money, so the cash bar for his side of the family and mine is absolutely acceptable. 
  • MyNameIsNotMyNameIsNot member
    First Comment First Anniversary First Answer 5 Love Its
    edited March 2010
    If it was that common, you wouldn't need to ask.  

    People will come up with any excuse to be rude to their family and friends.
  • mynameisnot:  close friends within our circle are invited and attending and are all aware of our cultural traditions/customs.  Asking has nothing to do with it being common or not.  It's my perogative to ask, but thanks for your feedback.
  • mynameisnot: just read your later post.  It's not being RUDE maybe you would benefit from some cultural competency and increase your tolerance to things you aren't familiar with
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_one-else-doing-open-bar-only-one-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9af348ef-7ec2-4daa-b867-9654c0c744aaPost:e221d57d-953a-4455-8300-c813cc8fe67b">Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour?</a>:
    [QUOTE]I understand that many people think that any form of cash bar (even if open is an option for a limited time) is eitiquelly inappropriate.  However, within my family and our culture it is considered appropriate and acceptable.  I was wondering if anyone else is doing an open bar for a limited time and how you alert guests of this (if you even do at all).  Also any signature drink ideas.  I was thinking appletine since our colors are chocolate and green and we may be using apples in the decor.  Ideas are welcome and appreciated.  Thanks in advance.
    Posted by Joellee84[/QUOTE

    I've told you all it's appropriate in the circle of people who will be at my wedding.  I'm not sure why this is so difficult to grasp.  I'm not interested in etiquette books, but thanks for the suggestion.  I'm off this... and appreciate the ideas offered.
  • lol @ "cultural competency"

    For me, making me pay for drinks after I had been getting them free for an hour would be the equivalent of taking away a hungry dog's food bowl while he's eating. But I'm culturally incompetent. And a lush.
    image
  • The only time I've heard of a bar going from free to cash was at a club.  

    I have to agree with others that if it is done all the time, then you should know or have friends or family members who know.  I've made it clear in other posts that cash bars are rude, but I'm not going to debate it further.  I second the pick up a book suggestion.  Here is my favorite etiquette book:

  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_one-else-doing-open-bar-only-one-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9af348ef-7ec2-4daa-b867-9654c0c744aaPost:0bd35f76-b3b9-4115-9a6a-d444dcfa2d03">Re: Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour?</a>:
    [QUOTE]In Response to Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour? : [QUOTE] I've told you all it's appropriate in the circle of people who will be at my wedding.  I'm not sure why this is so difficult to grasp.  I'm not interested in etiquette books, but thanks for the suggestion.  I'm off this... and appreciate the ideas offered.
    Posted by Joellee84[/QUOTE]Nothing you have said changes the fact that it is rude no matter what. People use culture as an excuse to be blatantly rude all the time but that doesn't make what they are doing acceptable at all even if they believe it does, as you have said that you do too. Since you clearly don't care about your guests, then go right ahead with your plan because that is what you will do anyway. Don't be shocked in the least if relationships with some people are permanently severed due to your ignorance and callousness.
  • In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_one-else-doing-open-bar-only-one-hour?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9af348ef-7ec2-4daa-b867-9654c0c744aaPost:d4419f73-042a-4e29-9340-b760327c1e2c">Re: Any one else doing an open bar for only one hour?</a>:
    [QUOTE]Rude is rude no matter what. Posted by Lasairiona[/QUOTE]

    Sorry, but that's bullshit. If it's common in her circle, then it's not rude. I would never have a cash bar because it would be considered terribly rude in my crowd, but if that's what's normally done in her crowd, I don't see any reason not to do it.

    To the OP, if this really is common in your crowd, I suspect you'll get much better answers on how to handle it from your own friends and family than you will here.
  • Ten of cups...awesome.  Thank you.  Stage...I'm not from maine. Im from Boston. I am African American. FI is from Uganda, A country in East Africa.
  • weddings are one of the few times I carry cash. (not knowing if it is open or cash bar or tickets ..tipping etc. and cards are rarely accepted)

    I have no problem with any kind of bar at a wedding as long as there is a bar.
  • I am actually curious about this too. I am with Stage on wondering about this different tradition.

    I think you definitely need to reach out by word of mouth to the guests who are not familar with your culture. If they don't know what to expect they can get really embarassed when they dont have the cash to pay for a drink on the spot.
  • my FI and I aren't doing an open bar at all.  We can't afford to, instead we are doing passed champagne during the cocktail hour and placing bottles of wine of the table for dinner.  Both the champagne and wine came out to $600 less than the open bar for the one hour.  This way people still get their "free drinks" and we don't break the bank.
  • At Ugandan weddings it is usually all cash bar.  In preparation for the wedding they also hold fundraisers and request money from friends and family.  People make pledges by playing games and auctioning random things.  It is also common to host a 'fundraiser' and charge for plates of food to raise money.  It's very different from the traditional American wedding 'etiquette' and is not rude.

    Stage: apparently I misunderstood you...my bad
    Carlina:  Love that idea! Have fun planning!

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