Daughter's 1st Birthday

cbs2911

We are getting married 2 days before our daughter's 1st birthday.  It is a destination wedding, and no family is joining us.  We are planning a local reception when we get back, and are wondering if, and how, to incorporate her birthday into the party.  I read through some previous posts about birthdays and receptions, and still wonder about this since it is a child's 1st birthday.
My other thought is to have a separate party for her the night before or day after the reception, but family lives an hour away and won't want to drive twice (and assuming other family travels from farther away, we couldn't accomodate them at our house for the night so they wouldn't have to drive).

Jen4948

I wouldn't even try. 

Maggie0829

I understand that the first birthday is important and all but I just wouldn't.  Your daughter is one, she will not remember whether or not she had a party.  When children are young, the parents have the parties for their memories not for their kids.  I would have a small celebration with just the three of you the night before your AHR.  Get her a cake she can tear up and make a mess of.  Take some pictures to document the occassion but other than that, I really wouldn't try to do much else.

Simply Fated

I would definitely keep the two events seperate.

Peavy

Honestly, I would just not even worry about her birthday.  She's twelve months old.  She doesn't care.

[Deleted User]

she won't remember, she won't care

Jen4948

There seems to be quite a trend of "including" very small children and babies in weddings lately....

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:3db40419-cc5e-4262-be50-09452cec3dc1">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]There seems to be quite a trend of "including" very small children and babies in weddings lately....
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

Um, this is her and her FI daughter.  Of course they are going to want to include her.

Now if it was a matter of including a friends little kid because you want a cute FG for pictures, then yeah, that's an issue because at that point the little kid is being used as a prop.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:c80ce6f2-95ea-4e13-a7bd-eab54d4d5400">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : Um, this is her and her FI daughter.  Of course they are going to want to include her. Now if it was a matter of including a friends little kid because you want a cute FG for pictures, then yeah, that's an issue because at that point the little kid is being used as a prop.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Um, Maggie, I don't think it matters who the kid's parents are.  If the kids are so young that they're not going to remember the event, then they're being used as props-period.

And most posters have noted that they think the wedding should be about the union of the bride and groom-regardless of whether or not one or both have children.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:3db40419-cc5e-4262-be50-09452cec3dc1">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]There seems to be quite a trend of "including" very small children and babies in weddings lately....
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

I know right?  Why do all these couples want to include their own kids in their wedding?  Geez.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:0819d8f6-1e8a-4225-9749-ce8a2f8b7076">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : I know right?  Why do all these couples want to include their own kids in their wedding?  Geez.
Posted by lyndausvi[/QUOTE]

I think that they're so enthralled by the "cuteness" and "family unity" factors of it that they forget about the "practical" one.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:4b582e35-8255-4805-bf29-0957ae98adc5">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : Um, Maggie, I don't think it matters who the kid's parents are.  If the kids are so young that they're not going to remember the event, then they're being used as props-period. And most posters have noted that they think the wedding should be about the union of the bride and groom-regardless of whether or not one or both have children.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

No, the posters are saying to not include a special birthday celebration within the AHR.  None of us told the bride that including her one year old daughter in her wedding was a bad idea.  We just said that the birthday celebration for her kid she be kept out of it.

Maggie0829

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:02c33a62-e427-4762-87c0-dba4c13bae21">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : I think that they're so enthralled by the "cuteness" and "family unity" factors of it that they forget about the "practical" one.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

I am pretty sure that Lynda was being sarcastic.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:b41b928c-3995-4e7f-a8c7-d2d3397554d4">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : I am pretty sure that Lynda was being sarcastic.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Pretty sure I was.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:2eda4b9a-5de5-49ca-a87d-f10304612802">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : No, the posters are saying to not include a special birthday celebration within the AHR.  None of us told the bride that including her one year old daughter in her wedding was a bad idea.  We just said that the birthday celebration for her kid she be kept out of it.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

We're referring to different things by "the posters are saying."

You're referring to this thread alone; I'm referring to the forum as a whole.  In other threads and folders, I've seen posts saying not to "include" small children in weddings.

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:b41b928c-3995-4e7f-a8c7-d2d3397554d4">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : I am pretty sure that Lynda was being sarcastic.
Posted by Maggie0829[/QUOTE]

Probably.  So was I.

artbyallie

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:83163555-e87d-491f-8689-d6d80f0cee28">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : We're referring to different things by "the posters are saying." You're referring to this thread alone; I'm referring to the forum as a whole.  In other threads and folders, I've seen posts saying not to "include" small children in weddings.
Posted by Jen4948[/QUOTE]

<div>By which we generally mean, don't include them in the <em>vows</em>.</div>

Jen4948

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_daughters-1st-birthday?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:9e3e8505-b362-4756-8098-19db25b9cdcbPost:acc450a0-71ed-4fd7-86ee-0a330c5f4ded">Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Daughter's 1st Birthday : By which we generally mean, don't include them in the vows .
Posted by artbyallie[/QUOTE]

Or have them play any other "active" role just because it's "cute."

bridalmarch

We had a big to-do for our daughter's first birthday and she hated it. She couldn't open presents, she was scared by that many people singing, and she ended up taking a nap in the middle of it. 

I know your heart is in the right place, but you should celebrate her birthday as a family, and your marriage as a couple. Lots of people at the wedding won't really care about a one year old's birthday, and it might scare her. 

cbs2911

Thanks!