Ceremony and reception gap

starlite21l

We could only get our church at noon and we want an evening reception likely around 5pm.  What do you suggest we tell our out of town guests to do for those few hours in between?

I was thinking of putting together a little scavanger hunt to show them around town.  Or have a hotel room reserved with food, games and other things.

Any ideas??

gottahavashorti

Find a venue that will let you have an earlier reception, change your reception time or have your ceremony at the reception venue.  Or expect people to skip either the ceremony or reception.  You can have the equivalent of a night time reception with a meal, alcohol and dancing in the early afternoon.

dalm0m

Don't do a scavenger hunt.  It's too goofy. 

If you must have a gap  . . . have snacks somewhere.

marysec

We actually have a 1PM ceremony and a 6PM reception (5PM cocktail).  The ceremony is downtown and there is plenty to do.  I personally chose this because I don't like being rushed and wanted plenty of time to take pictures, chat with guests, and relax! I went to a wedding before that had a 4 hour gap and, as a guest, I found it perfect even if it was in the middle of nowhere. 

When you think about it, your 12PM ceremony will likely end around 1PM, 1:30 by the time you finish chatting with guests then you have a nice 3 hour window to take pictures and relax.  You can do a cocktail hour before the reception where guest can go and have snacks and drinks and you only need to be there for 5PM.

Some guests wont like it but if you're comfortable with that, it's your wedding, do what YOU and your FI want!

trix1223

Cut the gap down.  As for the scavenger hunt:  yeah, driving around an unfamiliar place when gas in $3 a gallon is a great idea.  There's no way in he!l that we'd be doing that.

Have your ceremony from noon-1:00 pm.  Depending on how far your reception venue is, start your cocktail hour at 2:00 pm, reception at 3 pm.

If you insist on a gap as huge as the one you're planning, at least a hospitality suite with food and drinks.  But why incur that additional expense when there's really no need to?

jenn.daniel

If you must have a gap, do the hotel room with drinks and snacks. 

banana468

Please don't listen to Marysec's advice.  It's bridal-centric and frankly, quite rude.

Figure out a way to start the reception earlier or talk to your church into a later time.

And in the meantime, yes, host something in the interim.

skippylouwho

I hate gaps - other than the time it takes to drive to the reception (or cocktail hour if one is provided) I do not like any gaps. I think 4 hours is especially horrible and I would simply go home and forget the reception.

Theresa626

I think you're fine. Every catholic wedding I've been to is the same as yours.  Just have a hotel room set up with drinks and food or someone's house that's local to go to.  I also think the scavenger hunt sounds fun but that older guests might not like the idea.  

banana468

Please don't lump that into an All Catholic Weddings Are Like That group.

I'm Catholic and we made sure to have NO gap.

gottahavashorti

A lot of my family is Catholic and I have never seen a gap beyond the cocktail hour.  Instead, I've seen the same reception style as a night reception, just beginning during the day.

aerinpegadrak

If you have a gap longer than an hour or two, people are going to skip either the ceremony or the reception.  It's just a fact of life.

libbylo

I too came on here and asked the gap question.  I also received the same hostile respones.  I'm having a 2.5 hr gap.  I think that your idea of a hospitaility toom is great!  There will be people who don't come to ceremeony because of the gap.  Does that bother you?  If not, keep the gap, have a hospitality room (the scavenger hunt is cute, but driving around could be confusing/ frustrating for guests inaddition to inclement weather concerns) and congratulations! 

MyNameIsNot

Either move the ceremony or move the reception.  If the church is only available at noon that day, pick a different day.

Gaps are rude.  It doesn't matter if you are catholic.  I too am catholic and had to deal with the wonky church times.  But I would never be so selfish and rude as to leave a gap.    

When you decide to invite other people to your wedding, you take on the responsibility to be a decent host.  That means not being selfish.  

flutgrl1

Personally I've decided that my time is valuable.  Life is too short to waste it. If I get invited to a wedding with a gap I go to only one portion and use the rest of the time for a better use of my choosing!

aerinpegadrak

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_ceremony-reception-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ad3e39aa-bb3a-4415-9efd-dd2f4f82125aPost:7c39865d-3f0f-4e85-9bba-552db0ca2753">Re: Ceremony and reception gap</a>:
[QUOTE]i think a 5 hour gap is a bit much and your event planner at your reception site will probably tell you the same thing. i would make the reception a little bit earlier and move the wedding to 1. PS-i'd really like to know how all of these catholic girls are not having any gaps, since most churches have a satuday mass around 5 :-)
Posted by ejoyce8[/QUOTE]
They have receptions starting in the afternoon.  It's not that difficult.  My sister had a Catholic wedding around 2:00, ended at about 2:45; cocktail hour started at 3:30 to allow for travel time, dinner was supposed to be served at about 4:30 but was delayed until nearly 5:00 because the photographer was dumb.

aep8687

Or we Catholic girls have cocktail hours. Our ceremony is at two, will last till three-ish, then we're having a cocktail hour immediately following, which people probably won't get to until three thirty or so because of visiting time outside the church and travel time. Then they will need to leave the cocktail hour by five-ish to get to the reception by five-thirty. Dinner will start right away at six, followed by the other festivities.

aep8687

And P.S., I've never been to a Catholic wedding that had a gap, but I have been to others that did, and I happen to like the gap, especially if I'm an out-of-towner that has a hotel to go relax at. Plus it's an excuse to change into dancing clothes and therefore wear two dresses.

banana468

Our wedding was at 2:00.  It was over an hour and we had a receiving line that added a good 20 minutes to a half hour.  Then guests drove 20 minutes to the reception venue for the 4:00 PM start.  We paid for an extra hour so the reception ended at 10.

It was the best of both worlds - an evening reception with NO gap.  Plus, our older relatives were able to leave after eating.

ejoyce8

 you girls are seriously awful and way too sarcastic for my taste. I am Catholic and your timelines still don't add up very well.

our church ceremony will be at 2
cocktail hour 4
dinner 5

do your wedding however you want, just make sure people know the gap time and prepare to do something.

Good luck and best wishes, i'm sure it will be wonderful.

dawnmarie0627

I have a 2pm ceremony at the church and a 6 pm start for my cocktail hour. My fiance and I wanted to make sure that we had plenty of time in between the ceremony and the reception to take pictures. Most of my friends and relatives know of the gap between the ceremony and reception and they are fine with it. A lot of our close friends and relatives are staying at a hotel and are having a shuttle service to the ceremony and the reception. Most of them will probably either go back to the hotel for a bit or have the shuttle drive them around the area.

Quite frankly it's your wedding day. If you and your fiance are ok with the gap then its fine.

banana468

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_ceremony-reception-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ad3e39aa-bb3a-4415-9efd-dd2f4f82125aPost:3a0a3508-b4ab-473d-80d0-36de37cd96f5">Re: Ceremony and reception gap</a>:
[QUOTE]I have a 2pm ceremony at the church and a 6 pm start for my cocktail hour. My fiance and I wanted to make sure that we had plenty of time in between the ceremony and the reception to take pictures. Most of my friends and relatives know of the gap between the ceremony and reception and they are fine with it. A lot of our close friends and relatives are staying at a hotel and are having a shuttle service to the ceremony and the reception. Most of them will probably either go back to the hotel for a bit or have the shuttle drive them around the area. Quite frankly it's your wedding day. If you and your fiance are ok with the gap then its fine.
Posted by dawnmarie0627[/QUOTE]


Quite frankly, your logic sucks and the feeling is very rude.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_ceremony-reception-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ad3e39aa-bb3a-4415-9efd-dd2f4f82125aPost:471bfd61-4a57-4610-a953-f9e5403b589e">Re: Ceremony and reception gap</a>:
[QUOTE]We actually have a 1PM ceremony and a 6PM reception (5PM cocktail).  The ceremony is downtown and there is plenty to do.  I personally chose this because I don't like being rushed and wanted plenty of time to take pictures, chat with guests, and relax! I went to a wedding before that had a 4 hour gap and, as a guest, I found it perfect even if it was in the middle of nowhere.  When you think about it, your 12PM ceremony will likely end around 1PM, 1:30 by the time you finish chatting with guests then you have a nice 3 hour window to take pictures and relax.  You can do a cocktail hour before the reception where guest can go and have snacks and drinks and you only need to be there for 5PM. Some guests wont like it but if you're comfortable with that, it's your wedding, do what YOU and your FI want!
Posted by marysec[/QUOTE]

This mindset is just gross to me. As a guest, it would piss me off beyond belief to know that I had to wander around some strange city or hang out in a hotel room with people I may or may not know just so that you could take your pictures and relax.

arllinma

I have been to a bunch of weddings with a gap but none were more than 1-2 hours. It was miserable for us since we were in a foreign town. I have spent time in McDonalds killing time, the mall, a public library....whatever in my fancy outfit. But at least it was a short time frame. 5 hours is way too long. Especially since you really don't need all that time in between.... you are asking for it.

Your going to have a few groups:
If I was from out of town and staying over, I would go back to the hotel and watch tv or something before the reception. I might not bother to dress up for the ceremony though...
If I lived locally, I would go home or do errands or whatever for the gap.  I might not bother to dress up for the ceremony though...
If I lived far and wasn't staying over, I might only go to the ceremony or reception and then go home. I wouldn't know how to waste that many hours. Even if you had a hospitality room, I wouldn't spend 5 hours with strangers in a room killing time.

flutgrl1

Your wedding doesn't include me packing and wearing 2 outfits. You get whatever one I pick out that morning. It is not a fashion show. I am not changing. I therefore do not need a gap to go do so in.

Also. People when bored on these gaps.....generally find a bar and get trashed. I have left evening repceptions after a 4 hour plus gap as soon was socially acceptable because I was already hungover and exhausted. It had been an over 10+ day.

If you want drunk people at your wedding awesome. The wedding I was at was also 90 degrees. So everyone there stunk from killing time and being out in the heat. awesome.

If she hadn't had to have photos all over the city...her guests could have gone straight to the air conditioned reception from the church. Everyone would have already been refreshed and nice smelling.

If I do back to my hotel room for hours btw ceremony and reception I am more likely to lay down and say screw it too much trouble to get re-dressed and go out again.

I have never known Catholic gaps (THey just have formal afternoon receptions problem solved) I have know that some people insist on the long photo gaps.

SERIOUSLY I doubt any of your friends/family don't mind the gap. They won't say it to your face. But behind your back people will be dreading your day and counting down the many many hours till it is over it.

JacquiDerek

My FI and I had the same issue of wanting to take as many pics as we could but not having to make our family and friends wait around for hours (which drives me crazy at other weddings)  We decided to be a bit unconventional and take the majority of our pics before the ceremoy and then do family photos after for about an hour or less. 

banana468

My aunt and uncle just went to the wedding of my uncle's son.  They did pics beforehand and an added bonus was that it broke the ice for all the post-ceremonial talk that occurs at the reception.

oogiejonz

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_ceremony-reception-gap?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ad3e39aa-bb3a-4415-9efd-dd2f4f82125aPost:7c39865d-3f0f-4e85-9bba-552db0ca2753">Re: Ceremony and reception gap</a>:
[QUOTE]i think a 5 hour gap is a bit much and your event planner at your reception site will probably tell you the same thing. i would make the reception a little bit earlier and move the wedding to 1. PS-i'd really like to know how all of these catholic girls are not having any gaps, since most churches have a satuday mass around 5 :-)
Posted by ejoyce8[/QUOTE]

It's way easy!   Ceremony at 2pm, reception at 3:30pm. Reception is not at the church, so there is no conflict with the 5pm Mass. See how easy that was? To make it even easier, we are having our photos taken before the ceremony so our guests don't have to sit around for an hour twiddling their thumbs waiting for us to get to the reception.

honeys

Wow, first Knot board I've visited. And just like every other forum on the web there are people being catty and rude to one another. We are here to get opinions, not backhanded retorts. People have differences of opinion, and you don't have to sh!t all over someone for it.