kids at the reception

ChibiKitty1987

i need input. we are tossing around the idea of no kids at the wedding, which will be at a bar....what do you think?

Grozikn

Sounds acceptable to me. I went to a no kids wedding last year and it went great.

AddieCake

You said no kids at the reception. I hope that doesn't mean you plan to allow them at the ceremony and then not the reception.

HobokensFury

I don't think kids belong at a bar.

lyndausvi

If you don't want kids, then don't have them.

I'm assuming you have the bar to yourselves, if that is the case the fact the venue is normally a bar would not stop me from invitng kids.

AdeleDazeem

If you don't want kids, then fine.  There is no need to further justify it.

Using the excuse that there is a bar, you will be near a bar or there will be alcohol is ridiculous.  I'm assuming there is drinking at other family holidays, parties, etc.  Kids aren't univited to Christmas because the adults are going to have cocktails. 

pbollara

Everyone throws out these ideas, but at the end of the day its your wedding. If you want kids at the ceremony and not the reception because of the bar, GO FOR IT. It is your day.

I am having the same thing, children are invited to the ceremony and not the reception due to alcohol. If you try and make everyone happy on your wedding day you are probably going to make yourself unhappy. Go with your gut! Hope your day is beautiful.

pbollara

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:2ab510a3-d841-4825-80c0-5c5b9f81a5c7">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception : This is rude. The reception is for the guests, to thank them for attending the ceremony.  Children are people too, if they attend the ceremony the need to be invited to the reception. The mere presence of alcohol is not harmful to kids. If kids couldn't be around adults drinking I would have been bannished from the dinner table every single day since my father likes a beer with dinner and my mom likes a glass of wine.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]
LOL

This is YOUR opinion, yes. However, I feel that guests at the reception are there to celebrate my wedding. Therefore, any decision that I make on that day should be respected. Several of my guests have said that its a great idea because its a night out for them away from their kids.  This forum is to toss ideas back and forth not to call people "rude". I find it almost comical that you feel that offended by my post. Thanks for the chuckle today.

Like I previously posted, it is her day therefore she should do what makes her happy. To each their own.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:b8326550-e2c1-402f-928b-61c1c736c9eb">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone throws out these ideas, but at the end of the day its your wedding. If you want kids at the ceremony and not the reception because of the bar, GO FOR IT. It is your day. I am having the same thing, children are invited to the ceremony and not the reception due to alcohol. If you try and make everyone happy on your wedding day you are probably going to make yourself unhappy. Go with your gut! Hope your day is beautiful.
Posted by pbollara[/QUOTE]

<div>this post is completely ridiculous. </div><div>
</div><div>No kids because of alcohol?  What do they never take kids to a restaurant?  </div><div>
</div><div>You wouldn't invited an adult to the ceremony and not the reception, why would you do that to a kid?  Why inconvenience the parents on having to drop the kids of in between the 2 events.</div><div>
</div><div>I'm all for adult weddings.  Your reasons are ridiculous.</div><div>
</div>

pbollara

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:bef91b41-e3d8-458f-ae00-70937ae97cba">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception : No, it is not my personal opinion, it is fact. You do not host an event without providing refreshments appropriate to the time of day for all guests (including the kids). If you don't want kids at your reception that is fine, don't invite them to the ceremony. Your wedding day stops being all about you and your FI once you invite other people. You shouldn't do whatever you want if some of those things include not hosting your guests appropriately.
Posted by Liatris2010[/QUOTE]

If anyone would care to re-read her original post, she is having this at a bar. Hence my agreement for the objections about children there.

It is still your personal opinion. Your wedding day is ALL about you and your fiance. See difference of opinion. The key word is "YOUR" wedding day. Everyone chooses to celebrate it in a different way. If you want to include children at yours, awesome for you. But i think its "rude" to say that someone else is rude merely because they want to celebrate it in a different way. Again, example of a difference of opinion.

OwningAHome1981

I hate going to weddings with kids at them. Ughhh such a buzzkill.

Don't get me wrong- I LIKE kids, I just don't think they belong at a wedding...ever.

AddieCake

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:ff5a9f05-22c4-4948-b060-b6f106ceaa17">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception : LOL This is YOUR opinion, yes. However, I feel that guests at the reception are there to celebrate my wedding. Therefore, any decision that I make on that day should be respected. Several of my guests have said that its a great idea because its a night out for them away from their kids.  This forum is to toss ideas back and forth not to call people "rude". I find it almost comical that you feel that offended by my post. Thanks for the chuckle today. Like I previously posted, it is her day therefore she should do what makes her happy. To each their own.
Posted by pbollara[/QUOTE]

<div>Thank you for telling us what the forum is for. Had you not come along, none of us would know. </div><div>
</div><div>It's not your place to tell people what they can and cannot say here. If people are doing something RUDE, people have a right to tell them so. And it is flat out RUDE to invite people to the ceremony and then not the reception, which is where the couple is to RECEIVE their guests and thank them for coming. If you don't want kids at the reception, don't invite them to the ceremony. It's just that basic. </div>

MrsGandthebeag

OP it's fine to have a kid free wedding.  We did this as well.  It was 21+.  

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:b8326550-e2c1-402f-928b-61c1c736c9eb">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]Everyone throws out these ideas, but at the end of the day its your wedding. If you want kids at the ceremony and not the reception because of the bar, GO FOR IT. It is your day. I am having the same thing, children are invited to the ceremony and not the reception due to alcohol. If you try and make everyone happy on your wedding day you are probably going to make yourself unhappy. Go with your gut! Hope your day is beautiful.
Posted by pbollara[/QUOTE]

Sorry, that is rude. It is poor etiquette as it basically has ring bearers and flower girls being used as "props"

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:ff5a9f05-22c4-4948-b060-b6f106ceaa17">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception : LOL This is YOUR opinion, yes. However, I feel that guests at the reception are there to celebrate my wedding. Therefore, any decision that I make on that day should be respected. Several of my guests have said that its a great idea because its a night out for them away from their kids.  This forum is to toss ideas back and forth not to call people "rude". I find it almost comical that you feel that offended by my post. Thanks for the chuckle today. Like I previously posted, it is her day therefore she should do what makes her happy. To each their own.
Posted by pbollara[/QUOTE]

You are breaking a KNOWN etiquette rule. It IS rude, whether you agree or not, from an etiquette stand point.

adults can always choose to leave kids home, but that is up to them.

EVERYONE invited to the ceremony, should be invited to the reception. To do otherwise, is against etiquette...........

Feel free to do whatever you want for your wedding, biut beware that you might look rude and bridezilla like by having the "it's MY wedding and I can do what I want" attitude

loca4pook

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:5a76696b-0b1d-4a32-b510-866f5a04328e">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]I hate going to weddings with kids at them. Ughhh such a buzzkill. Don't get me wrong- I LIKE kids, I just don't think they belong at a wedding...ever.
Posted by OwningAHome1981[/QUOTE]

Totally disagree. Kids are exciting and fun. They love to dance and have no shame there. I personally agree with the person who said weddings are "family events".

I just never understand the "no kids" rule.

Viczaesar

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_kids-at-the-reception-1?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:ae2f7e8b-e614-4ddd-b055-be6722a0bb38Post:ff5a9f05-22c4-4948-b060-b6f106ceaa17">Re: kids at the reception</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception : LOL This is YOUR opinion, yes. However, I feel that guests at the reception are there to celebrate my wedding. Therefore, any decision that I make on that day should be respected. Several of my guests have said that its a great idea because its a night out for them away from their kids.  This forum is to toss ideas back and forth not to call people "rude". I find it almost comical that you feel that offended by my post. Thanks for the chuckle today. Like I previously posted, it is her day therefore she should do what makes her happy. To each their own.
Posted by pbollara[/QUOTE]
No, it's not opinion.  It is fact.  Your RECEPTION is where you RECEIVE your guests and thank them for attending your ceremony.  That is the entire point of the reception.  It is not a party in your honor; that's why it's not rude for you to host your own wedding reception, unlike how it's rude to host your own shower or bachelorette parties because they're parties thrown in your honor.

MoxieMickie

In Response to Re:kids at the reception:[QUOTE]In Response to Re: kids at the reception:I hate going to weddings with kids at them. Ughhh such a buzzkill. Don't get me wrong I LIKE kids, I just don't think they belong at a wedding...ever.Posted by OwningAHome1981Totally disagree. Kids are exciting and fun. They love to dance and have no shame there. I personally agree with the person who said weddings are "family events".I just never understand the "no kids" rule.
Posted by loca4pook[/QUOTE]

Kids are great, but ageappropriatw behavior usually isn't weddingappropriate. Some parents don't understand it's their responsibility to ensure their kids behave in a manner appropriate for a wedding, not Applebee's or other restaurant that has high chairs.

Leaving a wedding with a bruise being kicked by a child and unable to hear anything because of children might help you understand it. I'm glad your circle supervises theor kids

propers1976

to the original question....
 
If you do not want children at your wedding, then it is completely appropriate not to invite them. My fiance and I are also having and adult only event for our own reasons. We love our nieces and nephews and will celebrate being aunt and uncle on another day. I am sure you can show the "littles" in your life special love and attention in another venue as well.

Enjoy the planning process & your day!

CarmenJ85

In Response to kids at the reception:

I am not allowing guests to bring their children, nor am I allowing my family.  The only children who are allowed to attend the reception are those in our wedding party.
They are between the ages of 5 -14.  All together it will be 6 children.  We are leaving it up to their parent's to decide as to how long and how late they want their kids to stay at the reception.
 
Depending on the venue and number of guest you are having. I think that would be determine whether or not you would allow children to attend.   Think of costs/seating arrangements/ and if the nights festivities wil be kid-friendly.  Lastly, it's good to let your adult guests have fun without worrying.

zantster

We're leaving it up to the parents to decide what works best for them.  The family is invited including kids, but obviously they do not have to bring them if they want a night out on their own.  Adults that leave their kids with a sitter can still dance and drink and get a hotel room regardless of whatever the other parents may have chosen to do.  Other kids are not their responsibility.  And it's not our responsibility to prioritize one kind of parent who wants to get away over another who wants to bring them.  We're in our thirties.  People have kids and some have teenagers.  My mom brought me to weddings and I'm glad she did.  I can't bring myself to exclude kids now that I will be the bride instead of the guest.   And I've never been to a wedding where the presence of kids completely ruined the mood.  But of course our mood will be romantic as well as family oriented. 

danajason14

We so want a kid free wedding (except flower girl) and we were ready to spread the word when,  the best man informed us he is bringing his 2 girls his girlfriend and her daughter! I hate when kids are running around on the dance floor, screaming and running in and out of the hall. Our wedding is in December and it will be cold..... Grrrr... now what. I did like the idea of just wedding parties children, but I really don't want to. We are having us & the wedding party dance to Thriller and his daughters are so excited to see him. Now what?

NYCMercedes

Dana, you're all dancing to Thriller?

danajason14

Yes Bride, Groom , bridesmaids, groomsmen, ushers, and my son(who will be 21 then) who is giving me away are all dancing to Thriller. We are getting ready to start ballroom dancing lesson and they have line dancing lessons there also. They said they would do a Thriller night and teach our wedding party along with the public one night. Just so frustrated about the kid thing I don't want to disappoint anyone but I feel if we invite one we have to invite all. I was told to just address our invitations to the adults and let it go from there??? is this rude?