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Wedding Reception Forum

Opinions please...

My fiance and I have a two year old, have been living together for 3 years, and are in the process of buying our first home. We are on a very tight budget! We have been talking about having an outdoor wedding at a picnic pavilion but the food costs and guest list are still weighing down our budget. This morning, my mom suggested that we might want to get married at our annual family reunion. Half the guests will already be invited, the space is plentiful, the tables and chairs will already be in place, half of the food will already be provided, etc. We would just need to spruce up the decorations, rent a tent or two (not as expensive as it sounds when renting from the local Air Force base), set up a DJ and photogropher, provide a candy bar and some food, and party. I think it could really make so many aspects of our day easier, less stressful, and much less epensive! Unfortunately, it is MY family's reunion, so my fiance feels less comfortable with it. He thinks it will really take away from "our day." I know there will be a million opinions out there, but I was wondering how you would feel if you were in his position, what might make it easier, and any ideas for making the day more about us. Thank you in advance for your help!

Re: Opinions please...

  • I agree with your FI.   It does feel like the wedding is "tacked on" to the rest of the day instead of being the focus of the day.  
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  • I'm with FI on this one.
     
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  • I wouldn't have your wedding at the family reunion.  I think your FI's family will feel out of place at your family's event.  I also think it's a little weird to tack on your own thing to an event that others have contributed to or provided food for without really making sure it's ok with them first. 
  • I think I can see the direction this is heading. I'm glad I asked! I guess this idea is out! Thank you so much for all the honest comments! I really appreciate the time you took to help us out!

    Plan B: Is it OK to host the reception at our home even if we only have 2 restrooms (and one is in the master bedroom)? We can't seem to get our guest list below 150 people. That seems like too much to me. What do you think?
  • edited December 2012
    I think at your home is totally fine...some places only have 2 restrooms!!  Depending on the size of the venue..
    Now- you may want to hide any valuables if they will be trodding through your bedroom to go potty lol..just a thought.

    I think you can totally do a backyard thing and have a great wedding at your home though!!
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  • I think you can totally have it in your backyard - nice and casual.

    But, for 150 people, you're going to need more bathrooms. Look into getting nice portable bathrooms (not port-a-potties!).  They have running water and flushing toilets.  This will keep people out of your home, which I would most definitely want.
  • Jen4948Jen4948 member
    Knottie Warrior 10000 Comments 500 Love Its 25 Answers
    edited December 2012
    I don't see why you can't have your wedding at your home in the backyard...but I agree with your FI that your family's reunion is not the place to do it. Your wedding does need to be an occasion where both sides get equal treatment.  It also shouldn't be "tacked on" to someone else's occasion and that's what will happen here.
  • what's the hurry? you already live together and have a kid. save up and then have it when you can afford it.

     

  • Why not wait a while until you can afford the wedding you guys really want?

    Or get married now with parents and siblings present, and then have a party at your house. Kind of a house warming/celebrate the newlyweds kind of thing. You wouldn't need a DJ and some of the other formalities. And you could do it more of an open house style (put like 2pm-? on the invites) so that there wont be 150 people there at once (although you should be prepared for everyone to show up at 2). You also wouldn't need as much food or a full meal this way.
  • I think it would be incredibly awkward. I get having a tight budget, but if the cost of a wedding done correctly, and by you, is too cumbersome, then city hall is always an option.
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