Pennsylvania-Philadelphia

Venting... My lack of family

So FI has 56 guests coming to the wedding who are family. I have 9. Well, I HAD 9.. It was: my parents, my aunt and uncle, 2 cousins, 1 cousins husband, a great uncle and my aunt. and that's literally all the family we have - all the grandparents have passed away, I am an only child, and each of my parents only had one sibling (one of which is my aunt from CA who never got married). Got a call yesterday that my aunt from California who recently underwent chemo was in the hospital for pneumonia last week. Her doctor recommends she not fly so soon since airplanes carry a high chance for picking up infection and she has a weakened immune system.. So that brought me down to 8. Got a call today from my aunt that my uncle is in the hospital because he woke up this morning and had problems walking, so they're trying to figure out what's wrong. So now he's a "we'll see" for the wedding day. :/ I guess I am just kind of feeling down on myself right now for the lack of family that I have. we've always been a small family, but it sucks even more at times like this when it really makes you focus on what little family you really do have left :( I am trying to look at the bright side of a) I am marrying into a larger family and b) what little family I do have I should cherish even more and stay close with.

Re: Venting... My lack of family

  • edited December 2011
    Kim!! You have an aunt who just went through chemo and and uncle who can't walk! Please focus on saying prayers that they get well rather than who can't come to your wedding. Don't let this wedding stuff cloud your head up. I hope they get better soon! And yes, cherish every family member you have whether you have a big family or not. Grass is not always greener on the other side. :)
  • Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    2500 Comments
    edited December 2011
    I am very sorry for all the things your family is going through right now.  I am on the other side...I have a huge family and my FI's fam is rather small.  His grandfather passed away last week and I feel so terrible that he won't be at our wedding (he was the last of our living grandparents).Just remember that even if they aren't there, they still love you and I'm sure they're so happy for you and your FI!  They have to do what's best for their health but I'm sure their thoughts will still be with you on your wedding day.  Just enjoy yourself and be thankful for the family that you do have :) I'll pray for the health of your aunt and uncle.  Maybe things will work out that your uncle can be there.
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  • edited December 2011
    i'm soooo sorry you're upset! for our wedding, it was the opposite- i had literally double the people that DH had.  and he was fine with it... we just really enjoyed the day.  not one person noticed my family was taking over because everyone was so friendly.  if neither your aunt nor uncle can come, make a point to call them and enjoy your day! don't get sad when you're so close- this week will be so exciting!feel better and i will pray for your family members!
  • edited December 2011
    Remember, by the time next week it'll be ONE big family!! I'll be thinking of your family and hoping they all get better!
    Yorkie Jenga
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  • ec0983ec0983 member
    10 Comments
    edited December 2011
    i hear you on this one. i have a HUGE family, but less than half of them are coming. FI has a normal sized family, and less than 1/3 of his family are coming. we're kiiiiiind of feeling like no one really cares we're getting married. but as my constantly right mother reminded me tonight, the people that really matter WILL be there- and those that want to be but can't will be there in spirit for sure. my aunt passed away almost exactly a month before our wedding date, and it was really hard realizing that i wouldn't be seeing her there. you're right, you do need to cherish the family you do have, not worry about the number of family members you don't have (something i need to work on!)
    trying times are not the times to stop trying. image

  • edited December 2011
    I have a minuscule family and feel the same way.  At my wedding, the only people related to me aside from my parents and two brothers were an aunt and uncle and their children (my three cousins).  My mom brought along a cousin of hers that I hadn't seen in at least a decade, so I guess that counts, too.  I keep myself sane in general by making sure I make up for my lack of family with lots of wonderful, dear friends.  I am guessing that you will have plenty of people celebrating with you next weekend, even if they aren't related to you.  My parents remind me often that friends are often better than family, as you get to choose your friends :)  Just keep in mind that the day will be fabulous and you'll be sharing it with lots of people who care about you and - most importantly - with each other. 
  • edited December 2011
    Hugs oodsie! I am sending thoughts and prayers to your aunt and uncle. My family is opposite as well, my mom has 9 brothers and sister and I have 5 times the family members as FI. I feel bad that the wedding is so lopsided, however he is really excited to join my Irish Catholic family. You get to join his large family Sat, yay! Enjoy:-)
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