Alcohol or No Alcohol?

sierraberry32

Should I have alcohol or not? The only reason I am asking is because a LOT of my fiances family are alcoholics, no joke, they even have half ownership of a bar downtown. And to make matters worse, the underage kids were given alcohol by their elders when we went to a bridal fair.

To be honest my fiance and I don't prefer the flavor of alcoholic drinks. I just don't know if I want to cross alcohol off my list because of his family, my family likes wine and beer as well but we only use it to celebrate certain events, such as a wedding, and we never get wasted! So I have no idea what to do! The only thing I know is that I don't want them getting super drunk at my wedding, like they did at my engagement party.

n3rdl3t

There is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding. It will not only save you money, but it sounds like you may avoid a lot of embarassing family moments if you decide to go that route. 

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:6e96cc08-29c0-4d19-8cdf-1b84cc947caf">Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]There is nothing wrong with having a dry wedding. It will not only save you money, but it sounds like you may avoid a lot of embarassing family moments if you decide to go that route. 
Posted by n3rdl3t[/QUOTE]
True, I would be saving a lot! But I am afraid of them sneaking it in... I know it sounds weird, but they are that addicted! It's sad really....

OBX2011

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:edd06a37-cbc5-40e4-b82f-4b4e14e06e09">Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol? : True, I would be saving a lot! But I am afraid of them sneaking it in... I know it sounds weird, but they are that addicted! It's sad really....
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]

A dry wedding is fine and there is nothing you can do to stop them from sneaking it in, sadly.

Peavy

The only thing I know is that I don't want them getting super drunk at my wedding, like they did at my engagement party.

To me, this says you want a dry wedding.  They may still bring in alcohol on their own, which unfortunately you can't do anything about.  But at least you're not providing it for them.

Sue-n-Kevin

I totally agree with the prior posters, there is nothing wrong with a dry wedding.

One of my friend's sons got married a few years back and had a dry wedding. His dad's friends brought in a couple of pints (I know this because I was sitting at their table). They are the type of "convivial party guests" that can't have fun without alcohol. Not sure how many people knew, but to be honest, they were also not alcoholics.

If I were you, before making final plans, I'd check with your venue. Our venue was an historic village, and to serve alcohol we had to get a city license approved by the police department. Every venue has different rules, but if  you are planning a "dry wedding", and guests bring in alcohol, you could be leaving yourselves wide open to legal liabilities that you don't even want to think about. Their rules matter.

Good luck.

annamhisle

I vote NO alchohol!

goobersinlove

There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding - I wouldn't miss it or side-eye it if I went to a dry wedding. The last thing you want on your wedding day is to have to worry about those kinds of things.

If you are open to general suggestions, a breakfast/brunch/lunch reception would be a great idea for a dry wedding, since most people don't tend to expect to drink this early in the day (generally speaking - I'm aware this isn't always the case with alcoholism). Of course a dry dinner reception is perfectly fine too, I just thought I'd throw the brunch reception out there.

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:bf34670f-7a15-4002-aef3-9eee47c48c8b">Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]There's nothing wrong with a dry wedding - I wouldn't miss it or side-eye it if I went to a dry wedding. The last thing you want on your wedding day is to have to worry about those kinds of things. If you are open to general suggestions, a breakfast/brunch/lunch reception would be a great idea for a dry wedding, since most people don't tend to expect to drink this early in the day (generally speaking - I'm aware this isn't always the case with alcoholism). Of course a dry dinner reception is perfectly fine too, I just thought I'd throw the brunch reception out there.
Posted by goobersinlove[/QUOTE]
Thats very helpfull! Thank you!

DreamCLG7

i think it's fine to have a dry wedding, but I would be prepared for people not to stay very long

martind1

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:f5c7f378-7470-40bd-b4db-6c49f8d7a3a0">Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]Should I have alcohol or not? The only reason I am asking is because a LOT of my fiances family are alcoholics, no joke, they even have half ownership of a bar downtown.
Posted by sierraberry32[/QUOTE]
Wait, so are they alcoholics or are they recovering alcoholics (in AA or another type program)?<div>Sounds like they are the problem type. Maybe you should consider the dry wedding then if you want to curtail problems.</div><div>
</div><div>Another option might be beer & wine and no liquor. In the end though there is only so much you can do to prevent their drinking.</div><div>
</div><div>Maybe you need to reconsider inviting them if you're afraid they will be a problem. If they really are that bad they might need to be told how their behavior effects you. </div>

sierraberry32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:9e85c91f-6c83-425b-a443-184a1411c68d">Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to  Alcohol or No Alcohol? : Wait, so are they alcoholics or are they recovering alcoholics (in AA or another type program)? Sounds like they are the problem type. Maybe you should consider the dry wedding then if you want to curtail problems. Another option might be beer & wine and no liquor. In the end though there is only so much you can do to prevent their drinking. Maybe you need to reconsider inviting them if you're afraid they will be a problem. If they really are that bad they might need to be told how their behavior effects you. 
Posted by martind1[/QUOTE]
They are alcaholics... And they have no interest in recovery. I have to invite them, only because they are direct family with my Fiance. Other than that I was thinking maybe I should only offer small amounts of alcahol, no fancy liquors, just beer and wine. But only offer enough for each person to just have one glass...

impalin03

I have the same problem going on with a few members of my own family and a few extended family members of my FI. We decided to go with a dry reception. We do drink on occasion, but we considered that we could do without. We will have children and teenagers at our reception, we dont want the embarrassment (well i dont of my drunken family members), we dont want the flare up of potential fights once alcohol gets in the system, and if they cant avoid alcohol for a couple of hours for us for an early afternoon wedding and reception then they "can" leave and go to a bar and get drunk on their own dollar because we wont pay for it.
 
We are at the reception to enjoy family and celebrate that union. We wrestled for 2 months agnoizing over this decision. Once we finally picked reception venue it helped, because they require a one day liquor license and the responsiblities that come with it is like uhhh no thank you. It was too much of a headache for us.

kaos16

I also think that a dry wedding might be best in your situation.

In the alternative, what about providing bottles of wine on the tables during dinner time?  That way people can have a celebratory drink with their meal (as you mentioned in an earlier post) without providing endless alcohol for everyone to get bombed. 

lnk060710

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_alcohol-or-no-alcohol?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbbb5999-2330-4e0a-b274-24d35c670db3Post:63d7844d-75e6-4d6a-8e29-a6d09b463aa4">Re: Alcohol or No Alcohol?</a>:
[QUOTE]I have the same problem going on with a few members of my own family and a few extended family members of my FI. We decided to go with a dry reception. We do drink on occasion, but we considered that we could do without. We will have children and teenagers at our reception, we dont want the embarrassment (well i dont of my drunken family members), we dont want the flare up of potential fights once alcohol gets in the system, and if they cant avoid alcohol for a couple of hours for us for an early afternoon
Posted by impalin03[/QUOTE] Hope it went well, haven't seen an update