Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?

QueenJinnel

It seems to be standard operating proceedure for whoever is throwing the wedding to also feed the vendors (the photographer and musicians).  However, we are trying to figure out if this is really necessary (ie, will we be be breaking some major taboo & risk getting worse service).  We have a small wedding, and we are paying for it all ourselves, so any extra expense is a hardship.

Also, if we have to feed them, we don't know where to put them.  Our venue is small, so if we put them in the same room with the guests, they will have to sit at a table with some guests, which seems weird.  Would it be too rude to set up an undecorated table in the next room (where the dancing will happen later)?

Any suggestions are appreciated!!

danieliza1127

You definitely should feed them if they will be at the reception.

Our DJ ate at the DJ booth.  He was playing music and managing all of that, so there was no way he could go and sit at a regular table.  I've seen it done this way at other weddings as well. 

I'm not sure about the photographer.  Ours was family so he ate with our guests.

Lasairiona

Yes you need to feed your vendors, otherwise they will fall over from exhaustion and hunger and you won't get the quality services you paid for because they will be focused on how long until they can leave to go eat. Also, they can't just slip away in the middle of the reception to go to McD's. Nearly every caterer offers vendor meals for a fraction of the price. If you are having a buffet, you will have plenty of extra food that you can spare to feed them. Also they need to be in the same room as your guests so they can continue to be a part of your wedding as they are not medieval servants who are quarantined to the basement. A venue can be shut down by the health dept for feeding them in the kitchen, contrary to popular belief. Your guests will not be offended by having them sit at a vendor table, as they won't be sitting there long enough to notice. Your dj can't play music if he's in another area of the venue outside of the room. Your photographer can't capture post-dinner pictures either if they are elsewhere. Your dj may even choose to eat at his station, which is not an issue. Also, a photographer who is fed properly will be more inclined to get your pictures processed on time than someone who treats them like a slave and doesn't think they deserve food, despite the fact that they are with you the entire day/night with no break at all.

I <3 Seabass

We provided meals for our vendors, but they ate in a separate room (not the kitchen) which according to a lot of vendors we met with they prefer because they don't have to be "on" in front of guests during their break. They could just relax in private, eat and get back to work.

We had a band so they staggered their breaks so that there was always at least one person playing and we had 2 photographers and they also staggered their breaks so there was always someone working our reception even when they took their break to eat.

megk8oz

You feed the vendors, it's common courtesy.

Our venue actually automatically included the DJ and the Photog among the final head count (So our 98 guests became 100). The venue also set up a small table for them to eat at away from everybody else. I honestly almost didn't see it, but we didn't have a lot of tables (One side had 6, the other had 4), and at some point when pretty much everybody was seated, I was just looking around from my table, and noticed a random "extra" tucked in the one corner.

gottahavashorti

Ask your vendors.  They will probably want meals - my photographer actually has in her contract that she is to be given the full meal, not a downgraded vendor meal, which makes sense to me to keep her going for a full day of work.  As for location, ask their preference.  The DJ might want to eat at his table, and the photographer may or may not need to eat in the same room as the guests depending on whether they grab a few shots while eating.

MyNameIsNot

Yes, you should feed them.  It's the norm, and they will expect it.  Many also include it in their contracts.

Speak with your caterer and find out what sort of vendor meal they offer.  Many offer a simple (but good) choice for vendors, like a quick sandwich with chips.  It's fine to set them up in another room.  They would typically use that break just as you'd use your lunch break at work, so it would be better for them to be in a separate space where they can make phone calls, etc.

mbcdefg

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:a277174e-becc-4fd0-bbed-c054d2884ec9">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]However, our DJ is only working from 7pm-11pm, and I feel like he should eat before he comes.  If I was working a four hour shift that started at 7, I'd definitely eat beforehand and wouldn't pass out from hunger. 
Posted by ecsmiles[/QUOTE]


But he's probably getting to the venue around 6 or 6:30 to set up. Which means that he's leaving his home/office before that in order to ensure that he gets there on time ... how far is he traveling? He could have anywhere from a 10-60+ minute drive. That puts him at at LEAST five hours. And then he has to break down his equipment, pack it into his car and drive home after your reception ends, so that's maybe six hours he's actually "working" your wedding. Or even more than that. It's not four hours cut-and-dry.

Check your contracts and see which vendors require a meal. If you're unsure, call them and ask. Also ask your venue about their vendor meal policy ... some places offer a free/discounted meal for vendors. Some places let you bring in outside food (so maybe order them a sandwich, some pizza or a hot meal from a deli or something). And yes, it's fine to set up a plain table for them in a side room.

You will get better service from a happy, fed vendor than from a hungry, cranky one. The better you treat your vendors, the better service you will receive. I understand being on a budget, but you also have to be nice to people.

banana468

I'd ask your vendors.

Keep in mind, your timing for your DJ's working hours is very off.

He may be PLAYING from 7-11PM.  However his work starts as he loads his equipment, drives to your reception venue, sets up his equipment for appropriate sound etc and is perfectly ready to go when your guests arrive.  If he only began working at 7, you'd be one upset bride.

He may not want to eat during the reception, but I'd offer him a meal and see what he says.

MOBinFLA

My daughter's band had it in their contract that they were to be fed and that they required a separate "green room" apart from the guests (they staggered their eating and breaks).  The photographer ate with them.

Check with your venue, they may have an area where vendors regularly eat.  The venue claimed it was their normal procedure when I told them that we needed a separate area for the vendors.

AmoroAgain

Wow.  Do people even consider NOT feeding these people?  Seriously?  It never even crossed my mind even though we were having a small wedding and paying for it ourselves.  WTH.  RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.

We sat our photographer with our friends and no one got upset that they were seated next to an, EW, VENDOR. Jebus.

Lasairiona

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:f9e2e4ad-bad8-439d-9a16-d0b67cf4c021">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.  Do people even consider NOT feeding these people?  Seriously?  It never even crossed my mind even though we were having a small wedding and paying for it ourselves.  WTH.  RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE. We sat our photographer with our friends and no one got upset that they were seated next to an, EW, VENDOR. Jebus.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]
You would be surprised at the number of people who refuse to feed their vendors or  even treat them humanely. Guests in real life are not so superficial that they will be offended by a vendor sitting with them. Only in Paris Hilton's world does that ring true.

pandasquishy

Yes you should feed them.  We asked our vendors where they would like to be seated and we offered them the same meal as our guests (ie: not just sandwiches) Our DJ requested to eat at his booth so he could continue doing his job, and our photographers asked to be seated at their own table so they could look over what they had done so far, come up with a game plan for during the reception, and it was just more comfortable for them to be at their own table.

lyndausvi

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:4ea98cc4-adb2-43f5-8544-d6ff91991283">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]I think it's really weird to seat a vendor at a table for guests. One, they won't be there most of the time. Two, I imagine the last thing they want to do on their break is make small talk with guests they don't know. Three, they're not guests. Of course you treat them "humanely," but that doesn't mean you treat them like a guest you've invited. Because they're not.
Posted by tenofcups4me[/QUOTE]

as a vendor of sorts.. not really, but could be considered as one.... I feel odd eatting with the guests.. that said. I appreciate when I have the opportunity to eat something, somewhere, even if it's for a few minutes..

my point is.. it never occured to me not to feed my vendors.. I asked them their preferences.. They all said thay wanted a meal in the back... That way when they had a few moments they would eat and talk on the phone with their family/friends. It beats sitting BS'ing with random guests they would not see again...

tenofcups4me

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:b5e7d1c8-e151-4443-ae1b-2c16d8a0fcd6">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them? : No one is saying that you have to seat them at the same table as your guests. Set them up in the same room though.
Posted by Lasairiona[/QUOTE]

Actually I thought Amoro did say she sat her vendors with her friends and you responded about seating vendors with guests. Maybe I misunderstood.

At any rate, why would they need to be set up in the same room? I harldy think the way I set it up for the vendors at my first wedding was "inhumane" even though we had them in a separate room.

We had a buffet in a separate room specifically for our vendors (a 10 piece band, which took revolving breaks so part of the band was always on stage, their sound people, photographer and assistant). No, I did not serve them the filet mignon or the chilean sea bass that the guests got, but there was a full buffet set up for them and it would have been inappropriate to set that up in the same room since the guests had plated meals. And quite honestly, I assumed they would want to walk out of the room and take a real break, not continue to be on display with the guests.  

ETA: DH is a musician who occasionally plays weddings. He's always happy if he gets some food, but I can only imagine the bitching I'd hear if he was ever expected to sit down with the guests and eat a full meal. He'd hate it. (He's quite social; no one would know he'd hate it, but I'm sure I'd hear about WTF was the couple thinking? Why would they think he'd want to sit down and eat with their friends?)

AmoroAgain

I only had the photographer to feed at the reception, and I had gotten to know her fairly well so I knew that she could handle being seated with other guests.  She was with people of the same age and in the same field as her, so it worked out fine.  It doesn't work for everyone, but it worked for me.  You don't have to seat them with guests if you don't want to, that's fine.  I just don't think treating them like outcasts is any better than not doing anything for them at all.  Do you see what I'm saying?  In my situation, it was fine.  Other people choose to have a vendor table, and that's fine also.  I think as long as you give them a certain amount of decorum, it's all good.

dsouldiva

If they are there all day then you must feed them.  If it's just a few hours I would check with your musicians, I am a singer and I always turn down food because I can't sing on a full stomach so I eat early and snack on the way home. 

Basically it's nice to offer, you don't have to sort out a 3 course meal but it is polite to offer something you'd be happy to eat yourself.  It's not like they can bring their own food in to most venues, and it's always good to have soft drinks available for the musicians away from the bar so they don't have to fight your guests to get served.

QueenJinnel

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:f9e2e4ad-bad8-439d-9a16-d0b67cf4c021">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]Wow.  Do people even consider NOT feeding these people?  Seriously?  It never even crossed my mind even though we were having a small wedding and paying for it ourselves.  WTH.  RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUDE.
Posted by AmoroAgain[/QUOTE]

The interesting thing about this comment is that there are TONS of things most people consider absolutely necessary that really aren't that important.  For example: I am quite confident that none of the people attending my wedding will be offended that I am not providing favors.  I know them all personally and I think they will be happy to share our special day.

Likewise, we asked our band's leader whether people generally provide a meal for the band when they play a wedding.  She said it's always wonderful when someone does, but that all of her musicians are adults and they know how to bring a sandwich.  Please note: that is exactly what I do every day at work - my employer does not feel any need to feed me even though I am there 9 hours.  Since I am paying these people to be there, I don't think I should be required to also provide them a meal.  Of course I will be nice to them - I've worked in customer service basically my entire career, and I would never purposely treat someone poorly just because I'm paying them.  However, there's a difference between being nice to someone and buying them lunch on top of what you're paying them.

However, I understand that there are certain norms that can be broken, and others that really shouldn't be - hense my reason for posting here.

wifeandmommy0609

The only vendor we might have to feed is our DJ (if we hire one, we might just use a Ipod with music on it).  OH and the bartender..

the photogarpher is my sister so she will be feed either way.

banana468

QueenJinnel, one of the larger issues is that when you work a day at work, you're generally allowed a break.  Your office either has a cafeteria  or you're given an alloted period of time to take a break.

That isn't the case here.  Sure, they can provide a meal but it can also be a meal of their own desire and/or they can leave if they want to as well.

TurtlesAllTheWayDown

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_feeding-photographer-musicians-required-put?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:dbc2564a-304b-4a57-b58f-46f7cdead998Post:c43272ab-571b-4a6c-b9c7-f8ae423ded6f">Re: Feeding the photographer and musicians - required? And where do we put them?</a>:
[QUOTE]QueenJinnel, one of the larger issues is that when you work a day at work, you're generally allowed a break.  Your office either has a cafeteria  or you're given an allotted period of time to take a break. That isn't the case here.  Sure, they can provide a meal but it can also be a meal of their own desire and/or they can leave if they want to as well.
Posted by banana468[/QUOTE]

There's also the issue of flexibility. It is a pretty hectic day for your vendors. My photographer is traveling with us in the limo to an off-site location, shooting pictures before the ceremony, during the ceremony and after the ceremony, traveling with us to the reception, and working there. With all of her equipment, it's a bit much to assume she'll bring a small cooler with her. Or even a sandwich.

gottahavashorti

If you worked in a restaurant, you'd probably have the option of getting discounted/free food from the kitchen during break.  If a person is working somewhere that serves food, I think it's kind of insulting to tell them, "You're going to be surrounded by all of this delicious stuff, but we won't feed you because you're just the hired help." 

At least ask whether they expect a meal and whether they'd prefer a full or vendor meal.  They might not need a meal if their combined travel, setup and work time is short or they may want a sandwich they can eat quickly (vendor meal) or work best on a full, hot meal (what your guests are eating).