Wedding Reception Forum

Questions about a Restaurant Reception

My fiance and I have decided to have our reception in a private room at a stunning, delicious Italian restaurant rather than a traditional reception. 

The ceremony will be in my living room (46 guests).  After a photo session for an hour afterward, the guests will go to the restaurant, which is very close to my house.  There will then be an after-party for dancing at my house again.

Should we have the first dance, father/daughter dance, and mother/groom dances at the restaurant or at the house during the after party?  I am leaning toward doing it at the restaurant (they have said that it is okay and they will let us bring music), since probably not all of our guests will go to the after-party, and I want to do it in front of everyone since I think it is an important part of the reception.  I'm just worried that it might be awkward doing it at a restaurant.  If we do it at the restaurant, should we do it while waiting for dinner to be served, or after?

Also, we will be cutting and serving our cake at the restaurant, after dinner.  As part of the meal option that we have chosen, dessert is included as one of the courses.  Is it overkill to serve the guests dessert and then cake?  Or should we see if we can cut out the dessert and perhaps get a slightly lower rate on the dinner cost?  Even if we can't get a discount, should we cut out the dessert and only serve the cake?  I don't want the cake to be wasted.  OR, should we just order a small cake, assuming that after dessert, hardly anybody will want the cake and it will really only be for the cake cutting ceremony?

Another question is, at the after-party, should we serve hor d'ourves, or will people be full from dinner and probably not eat?  I'm expecting dinner to end at about 8 pm, and the after-party to go until about midnight.

Thanks in advance for the advice!
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