My mom wants to SING at the wedding.

Knelson5

My mother asked me if she could sing at the wedding. I said no.
 
My fiance said to me that he thinks it is ridiculous because the wedding is not a show... it is a wedding and that singing would be putting the spotlight on her. I agree with him. My mom has done just about everything to lay focus on her with the veil of pretending these are things she can do for me. I have varried examples that I will not bore you with.

She also can not sing as well as she believes she can. This is a family trait. My grandma thinks she can sing well too...lol. They are cute but... please not at the wedding.

So guess what... because I said no, my mom is mad. Should I let her sing at the wedding even if I do not want her to?

bbyckes

I don't want ANYONE singing at my wedding.  I  think wedding solos are awkward and usually horrible.  Are you planning on having a soloist at all?  Your mom will get over it.

trix1223

I do sing professionally.  I'm also an organist.  I did neither at either of my childrens' weddings. 

Tell your mom that a former MOB, who is a professional singer, said that it's just too emotional a day for her, and it wouldn't come off well.  I don't care how good she is.  And I'm saying this as someone who regularly sings at funerals of friends.  I even sang at my own mom's memorial service, but I couldn't have done my own kids weddings.

Bad idea, mom.

tiffgriffin7

bummer! I am so happy no one I know sings. If you really don't want it you need to stand by what you want and she will get over it. If she is going to be heartbroken and you don't care that much I would just let her do it. Most people won't remember it and if they do, they will just remember her.

Stallmanj1

I am having a friend and my sister sing at the wedding, but it is a part of the ceremony (an optional part, but a part nevertheless).  It's not a spectacle, it's them showing their love for me in a way that is special between me and them.  That being said, these two are great singers, and I need someone to sing the "stuff during mass that always is sung" anyway, and the  Lord's Prayer will be a beautiful addition. 

As if you haven't heard this enough, it's your day (the collective your - you and fi), so you guys get to make the final decision.  If that final decision ends up being to give in and relent to your mom, just make sure it's a conscious decision and not one that got made for you.

krissydawn16

When my bff got married, her mom (who is a wonderful singer) *tried* to sing but was too choked up to even begin the song.  It just made all of us saps in the audience cry ) If she's sentimental she may not even be able to sing!

sctfrk1314

My father is very musical and talented but even he said when I jokingly asked him if his quintet would play at my ceremony that he would be too emotional to play well and that he wanted to watch me get married without worrying about all the things that go into a musical performance. I've sung at family things (weddings, parties, funerals) and when emotion is involoved it is very difficult to perform.

Thank her for her offer. Explain that you'd rather she help you in another way, maybe do a reading or give a speech at the rehersal dinner. It gives her a moment to share in your day in a way you'd like.

nefariousmango

Can she sing at the rehersal dinner?  I think the RD is the prefect time for people who want to "do something special" to get the spotlight for a moment without embarassing you/themselves on your wedding day.
 Everyone in my family wants to sing, we don't want 15 solos, so we're having a karayoke pre-party so everyone can get it out of their system.  My sister is a professional singer and is singing at the reception for our first dance.

raniacharles

I also think that the rehearsal dinner is the perfect time for her to sing.  If you don''t want her singing at the wedding, I would not give her that option.  And, it's childish for her to be mad at you.   It's your wedding.

kallie3000

I think some of the comments on here are just lovely, and very helpful. My thoughts, which have already been said in one form or another, are that you might be able to deflect it by telling her you don't want her to have to do anything other than enjoy the wedding and relax. You could say that having her sing at the wedding might be stressful for her, and you just couldn't handle the worry over that. It sounds like she wants to make this about her, so why not play her game.  Singing at the rehearsal dinner sounds like a lovely alternative.

saiderJ24

mhhh............i dont know. It think mom should just enjoy the day watchin her lill girl grow be4 her.

cellarius

no you should absolutely not. even if she was the best singer in the world it's not her place to invite herself to do things in your wedding & it's completely up to you & fine if you don't want her to. i would definitely not want her to if it were me & i would not concede just so she isn't mad. she has no right to be mad anyway. it sounds like just another ploy to get focus on her on your day which is ridiculous. all these mothers so desperate for attention drive me nuts!lol

frizloaf

It's YOUR wedding. You tell her no and stand by your decision. I was recently at a wedding where a cousin wanted to sing a Sara Evans song, and he did---through his nose---it was horrible and everyone laughed about it.

ayeshaqureshi00

I agree, you should be plain with her about why you don't want her to sing, and offer her another task that may make her feel useful. She may just want to feel like she is needed.

Jeni35

I would have to agree with the majority of posters and say NO. This is your special day; the spotlight should be on the bride and groom, not the MOB expecting an audience. Stick with your guts. Your mom is already Mother of the Bride. i think that she will be emotional anyways and will want to enjoy your day. Everyone wants to do something or add their two cents; but I think this is one day where it is okay to say NO and not feel bad. When we started talking about our wedding, I got bombarded with who would be invited and what we would be eating! Excuse me! I didn't know the majority of people and my FI and I prefer a small group. Since then, everyone has been cool with our beliefs. I have to say that my mom has been awesome. She has not once told me what to do. She has voiced concerns and given her opinion; but never made me feel like I had to do something. I hope if the time ever comes for me to be a MOB, I will be the same.