105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense

MIMOG · July 2012

I am the MOG. The wedding and hall are five feet from each other. The bride and groom have opted (at MOB suggestion) to move wedding to 4 pm on a friday. Reception is at 6:30 and dinner at 7 pm. I am sure only the family is coming for the wedding due to being so far away from where we live (nearly an hour and really bad traffic between here and there on a friday). I am also in MI and with the unemployment rate so high especially for those over 50 most relatives cannot take the day off. The hall is in the same complex. MOB will NOT let anyone inside hall until the bride and groom returns from photos. She is serving wine and cheese on high top tables in hall. We have several who should not drink (alcoholics) and there will be no entertainment.
I along with several others are handicapped and need to sit- not enough chairs will be provided and when I am taking photos any chance of a chair remaining for me is gone.
The reason MOB refuses to let anyone in hall is so that it is pristine for the bride and groom when they return. How freaking inconsiderate is this? I do not approve of the venue and never have- it was featured in the Knot and MOB no doubt wants bragging rights about the venue. I said nothing even though my son is throwing away his religion to marry there. I think it rude and inconsiderate to make people stand for such a long time with nothing to do but drink. Both familes are divorced with one parent remarried so you also have the ex factor and standing around with them in such close uncomfortable quarters.

I expressed that the hall should be open and the DJ be paid to play longer and non alcoholic drinks be served.

Background- we gave the bride and groom $5K to help with wedding. MOB is hosting shower only (no wedding money) and nixes any ideas I or the step mother of bride has (MOBbeing an unreasonable total control freak). The bride is scared to offend her mother and my son has just threatened to kill me if I speak up about hall issue. I am not kidding he said he would kill me or anyone if he lost his fiance. I am not trying to break them up- I love bride dearly it is the MOB who is impossilbe and frankly I do not want to attend shower or wedding now. PIG son has yet to apologise.

MOB also did not pick her dress out or dress color less than three months before wedding and now wants same color of the dress I bought- first of all she said she was less upset it was me than her replacement wife that chose this color. Really? I did not pick bridal party color. My son had the nerve to call me and ask if I would change the color of my dress. MOB has serious issues with her exes new wife since that woman supposedly stole her husband away ten years ago. Bride also does not like her and this puts me in the middle of their quarrel and this is a very uncomfortable place to be.

I guess there are a lot of issues with this. I feel I have already lost my son and MOB is is going to bankrupt them. $20K for 100 guests is nonsense. She is making her daughter have the wedding HER way. My son is caught in the middle and is angry at me-misplaced anger. We refuse to help them in any way with any more finances. No one else has given them any money to help with wedding costs. This is the only thing I have asked of them- to open the hall up.

I find it very inconsiderate to make guests wait around that long when the hall is right there. It was originally a half hour wait and my future daugher in law told me it was hall rules to be closed for half and hour- she basically lied to cover for her mothers obsession with them entering a pristine hall. Like we are such pigs??? Any suggestions?

Hubby and I are planning on leaving after the ceremony and showing up later to the reception (if at all- I am so hurt and peeved right now). I am reamarried so this is my sons step dad- not that it matters- my son loves him very much and vice versa. Right now I really want to just disown my son and not attend a thing. Have a nice life and call me when you grow up and stand up for yourself oh and are ready to apologise to me for that nasty remark. I don't want to miss the wedding but then again if I don't stand up for myself they will walk on me and treat me like dirt or worse lie to me over and over.

I told them to do what they want- but they aren't, they are doing what the MOB wants.

Lucille04 · July 2012

I wouldn't attend for the very fact that your son threatened to kill you. I'd be tempted to pull my funds out as well.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:927b87a5-f0f2-4ab2-b3b4-629caa31e44a">105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the MOG. The wedding and hall are five feet from each other. The bride and groom have opted (at MOB suggestion) to move wedding to 4 pm on a friday. Reception is at 6:30 and dinner at 7 pm. I am sure only the family is coming for the wedding due to being so far away from where we live (nearly an hour and really bad traffic between here and there on a friday). I am also in MI and with the unemployment rate so high especially for those over 50 most relatives cannot take the day off. The hall is in the same complex. MOB will NOT let anyone inside hall until the bride and groom returns from photos. She is serving wine and cheese on high top tables in hall. We have several who should not drink (alcoholics) and there will be no entertainment. I along with several others are handicapped and need to sit- not enough chairs will be provided and when I am taking photos any chance of a chair remaining for me is gone. The reason MOB refuses to let anyone in hall is so that it is pristine for the bride and groom when they return. How freaking inconsiderate is this? I do not approve of the venue and never have- it was featured in the Knot and MOB no doubt wants bragging rights about the venue. I said nothing even though my son is throwing away his religion to marry there. I think it rude and inconsiderate to make people stand for such a long time with nothing to do but drink. Both familes are divorced with one parent remarried so you also have the ex factor and standing around with them in such close uncomfortable quarters. I expressed that the hall should be open and the DJ be paid to play longer and non alcoholic drinks be served. Background- we gave the bride and groom $5K to help with wedding. MOB is hosting shower only (no wedding money) and nixes any ideas I or the step mother of bride has (MOBbeing an unreasonable total control freak). The bride is scared to offend her mother and my son has just threatened to kill me if I speak up about hall issue. I am not kidding he said he would kill me or anyone if he lost his fiance. I am not trying to break them up- I love bride dearly it is the MOB who is impossilbe and frankly I do not want to attend shower or wedding now. PIG son has yet to apologise. MOB also did not pick her dress out or dress color less than three months before wedding and now wants same color of the dress I bought- first of all she said she was less upset it was me than her replacement wife that chose this color. Really? I did not pick bridal party color. My son had the nerve to call me and ask if I would change the color of my dress. MOB has serious issues with her exes new wife since that woman supposedly stole her husband away ten years ago. Bride also does not like her and this puts me in the middle of their quarrel and this is a very uncomfortable place to be. I guess there are a lot of issues with this. I feel I have already lost my son and MOB is is going to bankrupt them. $20K for 100 guests is nonsense. She is making her daughter have the wedding HER way. My son is caught in the middle and is angry at me-misplaced anger. We refuse to help them in any way with any more finances. No one else has given them any money to help with wedding costs. This is the only thing I have asked of them- to open the hall up. I find it very inconsiderate to make guests wait around that long when the hall is right there. It was originally a half hour wait and my future daugher in law told me it was hall rules to be closed for half and hour- she basically lied to cover for her mothers obsession with them entering a pristine hall. Like we are such pigs??? Any suggestions? Hubby and I are planning on leaving after the ceremony and showing up later to the reception (if at all- I am so hurt and peeved right now). I am reamarried so this is my sons step dad- not that it matters- my son loves him very much and vice versa. Right now I really want to just disown my son and not attend a thing. Have a nice life and call me when you grow up and stand up for yourself oh and are ready to apologise to me for that nasty remark. I don't want to miss the wedding but then again if I don't stand up for myself they will walk on me and treat me like dirt or worse lie to me over and over. I told them to do what they want- but they aren't, they are doing what the MOB wants.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

Your husband needs to have a serious talk with your son. If anyone, including her own children ever threatened my mother, my father would have knocked them into next month.

Knottie1450123632 · July 2012

i agree with PP. i say remove money. tell son if you cant speak to me with out a threat im not attending.

jemmini6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:927b87a5-f0f2-4ab2-b3b4-629caa31e44a">105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]I am the MOG. The wedding and hall are five feet from each other. The bride and groom have opted (at MOB suggestion) to move wedding to 4 pm on a friday. Reception is at 6:30 and dinner at 7 pm. I am sure only the family is coming for the wedding due to being so far away from where we live (nearly an hour and really bad traffic between here and there on a friday). I am also in MI and with the unemployment rate so high especially for those over 50 most relatives cannot take the day off. The hall is in the same complex. MOB will NOT let anyone inside hall until the bride and groom returns from photos. She is serving wine and cheese on high top tables in hall. We have several who should not drink (alcoholics) and there will be no entertainment. This is called a cocktail hour and is completely normal for wedding. Granted, they should reflect the namesake and be no longer than an hour, but the actual concept here is fine. As for the alcoholics, most bars during cocktail hour will still provide non-alcoholic drinks. I along with several others are handicapped and need to sit- not enough chairs will be provided and when I am taking photos any chance of a chair remaining for me is gone. The reason MOB refuses to let anyone in hall is so that it is pristine for the bride and groom when they return. How freaking inconsiderate is this? I do not approve of the venue and never have Why not? And why is it your business if you like the venue they chose or not? It's their wedding, not yours. it was featured in the Knot and MOB no doubt wants bragging rights about the venue. I said nothing even though my son is throwing away his religion to marry there. He's an adult, his religion is none of your business anymore, and this sounds incredibly judgemental. I think it rude and inconsiderate to make people stand for such a long time with nothing to do but drink. Both familes are divorced with one parent remarried so you also have the ex factor and standing around with them in such close uncomfortable quarters. I assume you are all adults and can peacably interact for a short amount of time. If not, that's not a problem with the wedding, that's a problem with adults not being able to act like adults. I expressed that the hall should be open and the DJ be paid to play longer and non alcoholic drinks be served. Background- we gave the bride and groom $5K to help with wedding. MOB is hosting shower only (no wedding money) and nixes any ideas I or the step mother of bride has (MOBbeing an unreasonable total control freak). Did you just give them the money as a gift, or did you specify certain things you wanted it to cover? Money does come with strings, but I haven't seen anything thus far that's worthy of fighting over. The bride is scared to offend her mother and my son has just threatened to kill me if I speak up about hall issue. I am not kidding he said he would kill me or anyone if he lost his fiance. Sounds like you need to have a talk with your son.... I am not trying to break them up- I love bride dearly it is the MOB who is impossilbe and frankly I do not want to attend shower or wedding now. You would miss your son's wedding because you don't agree with the MOB? Um...ok. PIG son has yet to apologise. MOB also did not pick her dress out or dress color less than three months before wedding and now wants same color of the dress I bought And? Your dresses do not have to coordinate. You both choose a dress you want to wear, that's it. first of all she said she was less upset it was me than her replacement wife that chose this color. Really? I did not pick bridal party color. My son had the nerve to call me and ask if I would change the color of my dress. This was rude. You are not technically a part of the bridal party, and they cannot dictate what you wear. Choose a dress you like, and be done with it. MOB has serious issues with her exes new wife since that woman supposedly stole her husband away ten years ago. Bride also does not like her and this puts me in the middle of their quarrel and this is a very uncomfortable place to be. I guess there are a lot of issues with this. I feel I have already lost my son and MOB is is going to bankrupt them. I don't get this. You love your son, you love your FDIL, how the hell are you losing a son? You won't have to deal with her mother after the wedding. Also, it was THEIR choice to spend that much on a wedding. Her mother could have made requests, but they were the ones that gave into them. It's their fault and their fault alone if they planned a wedding they couldn't afford. $20K for 100 guests is nonsense. She is making her daughter have the wedding HER way. My son is caught in the middle and is angry at me-misplaced anger. We refuse to help them in any way with any more finances. No one else has given them any money to help with wedding costs. You don't have to help them, and neither does anyone else. This is their wedding, and it's their responsibility to pay for it. This is the only thing I have asked of them- to open the hall up. I find it very inconsiderate to make guests wait around that long when the hall is right there. Again, this is a cocktail hour and is very common. The only thing I'd argue for is shortening it to an hour only. It was originally a half hour wait and my future daugher in law told me it was hall rules to be closed for half and hour- she basically lied to cover for her mothers obsession with them entering a pristine hall. Like we are such pigs??? Any suggestions? Hubby and I are planning on leaving after the ceremony and showing up later to the reception (if at all- I am so hurt and peeved right now). I am reamarried so this is my sons step dad- not that it matters- my son loves him very much and vice versa. Right now I really want to just disown my son and not attend a thing. Seriously?? For having a cocktail hour? Wow.... Have a nice life and call me when you grow up and stand up for yourself oh and are ready to apologise to me for that nasty remark. I don't want to miss the wedding but then again if I don't stand up for myself they will walk on me and treat me like dirt or worse lie to me over and over. I told them to do what they want- but they aren't, they are doing what the MOB wants.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

Basically, if you are THAT concerned with them not having a cocktail hour, then you can pull your money from their wedding. However, cocktail hours are NORMAL and I think you are being ridiculous about that part.

Yes, your son and FDIL need to learn to stand up to her mom, but you are being just as bad at this point. I feel bad for them having two demanding parents trying to get their way with the wedding. I mean, you really want to disown your son over this?? Real nice, mom.

I think you are overreacting to a lot of this. Let them plan their wedding, if you don't like how they are doing it, then you are free to pull your money, but I don't think that'd be fair for the things you are having issues with.

alithebride · July 2012

i see more of an issue with not providing seats for everyone.

most of your other complaints are petty. who cares if your dresses are the same color? stop looking for things to pick on, stop complaining to your son and DIL about every little thing and let them plan the wedding that THEY want. you really are giving them drama over NOTHING. who cares if there will be their exes around? my parents had the nastiest divorce in the history of the world and you know what? they both sucked it up and acted civil towards each other (which was the first time they saw each other in years AND my father brought the woman that he cheated on my mom with and is now married to to the wedding). Its called acting like an adult. really-i'm not seeing much of that in your post......

and remember: .they can only put you in the middle (meaning the divorced ones) if you LET them. dont let them. and the MOB isn't MAKING them do anything-they're agreeing.

angelsong21 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:c91ce0e3-9f65-4891-beef-0a3be9683510">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense : Your husband needs to have a serious talk with your son. If anyone, including her own children ever threatened my mother, my father would have knocked them into next month.
Posted by GoodLuckBear14[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>No kidding. IMHO, you have far bigger issues on your hands than the wait time between the ceremony and reception...

</div>

MIMOG · July 2012

My ex abused me for 30 years and is currently abusing his girlfriend according to my son. I have nothing to do with him.

I am losing my son over his nasty comment and this was not the first one he made to me in recent years (and for no good reason- he has also missed my birthday and we are three days apart).
I aksed nothing of them and said nothing- you really need to read and not be so judgmental. The money is theirs to use as they please. All I asked is that they open the hall and not make people wait outside in a hallway because the MOB is being unreasonable about no one being in the hall until the bride and groom walk in first. We cannot sit in the hall at a table for one hour and fourty five mintues? They will not shorten it since this new change was MOB idea and it is final. We are now in a tiny corridor. I will not stay there- if I even attend at this point.

Threating to kill someone here is the point- he is all mouth (threats like his bio dad) but no apology- I will not attend. I do not tolerate abuse of any kind any longer.

MIMOG · July 2012

PS I am not being petty, again I have said nothing to them- it is their day but the MOB is dictating it all and yes you are correct they are agreeing. My son is so afraid to do anything wrong in their eyes he is threatening me.
This is very wrong. Sorry I posted since you all seem to have passed judgement here on me and I am not the offender.

GoodLuckBear14 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:0509997d-b181-4431-9c4f-4a1369bc8568">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]My ex abused me for 30 years and is currently abusing his girlfriend according to my son. I have nothing to do with him. I am losing my son over his nasty comment and this was not the first one he made to me in recent years (and for no good reason- he has also missed my birthday and we are three days apart). I aksed nothing of them and said nothing- you really need to read and not be so judgmental. The money is theirs to use as they please. All I asked is that they open the hall and not make people wait outside in a hallway because the MOB is being unreasonable about no one being in the hall until the bride and groom walk in first. We cannot sit in the hall at a table for one hour and fourty five mintues? They will not shorten it since this new change was MOB idea and it is final. We are now in a tiny corridor. I will not stay there- if I even attend at this point. Threating to kill someone here is the point- he is all mouth (threats like his bio dad) but no apology- I will not attend. I do not tolerate abuse of any kind any longer.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

I didn't say have his father talk to him. I said have your husband do it. Does he know about these threats?

MIMOG · July 2012

Yes and he is very angry at him right now and in agreement that until he apologizes I should ice him. He doesn't want to over step his bounds and frankly I am afraid my son will just act childish and say something stupid like you are not my dad and that would be really hurtful to my very loving husband. Unfortunately at times my son learned some really hurtful things from his bio dad and these bitting remarks come out when he feels threatened. I can only ignore them so long- now it is time to take a stand. There is no way his darling bride would leave him - unless he starts to make these stupid and insensitive remarks to her- and then I would not blame her.

jemmini6 · July 2012

You said ONE LINE about your son threatening you, and an entire page about not liking her mom, them spending too much money, not wanting a cocktail hour, them asking you to change your dress etc. So forgive me if I got the wrong impression about what's really bothering you.....

MIMOG · July 2012

Call it being stressed out. I did not say I did not like her mom- I do not like her demanding items from the kids that they cannot afford and do to just appease her. I do not like her controlling attitude when it comes to me or her ex husbands new wife. Her having to control every thing needs to stop. She sould have never asked me or the other one to help if all she is going to do is turn evey idea down. She needs to leave the kids alone and stop feeding her daughter ideas they cannot afford and my son needs to talk to her about reining in costs for both of their sakes.

My son called and profusely apologized. I belive he was earnestly sorry and he also said had a good talk last night with his fiance about parental issues. I think he was as stressed as I was in dealing with the brides mother- who by the way has three more kids whose weddings she can undermine. I only have one son and I want them to have their wedding they way they want it but mindful of their guests.

They called the caterer this morning and they are going to open the hall within 15 minutes of the ceremony ending so eveyone can sit and relax while we wait for them to return. My future daugher in law and son spent the better part of last night deciding to do what they want for their wedding and not involve the parents which is what we told them to do in the first place when we gave them the money. It is your wedding YOU plan it. I am glad they are going to do that and I am glad to see that they are taking charge and not letting the guests hang in a small entryway for over an hour. My son said to me two days ago he did not want people hanging in an entryway waiting on them. This is a good start and he promised to be more mindful of my feelings in the future and not take his stress out on me but talk with his fiance.

sxcwed · July 2012

Are you ready to potentially toss your relationship away with your son? Call it a life with your new husband and wait until your son comes crawling (maybe) back into you life? Put your foot down and don't attend the wedding. This is going to have to be your choice based on your relationship that no one else here can determine. Death threats are above and beyond what anyone would consider remotely reasonable, no matter what context, and it sounds like your son has a huge anger issue that unfortuntely will likely get unrooted years later in his own marriage.

Complaining about the dresses and the cocktail hour etcetc. I get it. MOB is a SOB. If you plan to attend, ignore her and roll with the flow. Be the better person, keep your mouth shut and be nice.

Take back about $50 from what you gave to your son to spend on the wedding and buy yourself one of those nice transportable camping chairs. Problem solved.

Lilshell812 · July 2012

I agree with Jem. If the point of the post was that your son threatened you, there was a lot of filler. I just think there was a WHOLE lot of finger pointing in your post/comments and virtually no introspection.

It's not uncommon for parents to go overboard when their kids are planning a wedding. It's up to the bride & groom to make the decisions and put their feet down.

It seems like at this point, you need to do what's best for your well-being. If your son is threatening you, he needs to know that that's not okay (maybe he doesn't know that?). If he threatens you again, then it's time to cut him out.

jemmini6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:cd9271c2-f233-4ce6-8453-046d843f4894">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]Call it being stressed out. I did not say I did not like her mom- I do not like her demanding items from the kids that they cannot afford and do to just appease her. I do not like her controlling attitude when it comes to me or her ex husbands new wife. Her having to control every thing needs to stop. She sould have never asked me or the other one to help if all she is going to do is turn evey idea down. She needs to leave the kids alone and stop feeding her daughter ideas they cannot afford and my son needs to talk to her about reining in costs for both of their sakes. Their finances are none of your business. So how is you getting involved in it any different that her mom? My son called and profusely apologized. I belive he was earnestly sorry and he also said had a good talk last night with his fiance about parental issues. I think he was as stressed as I was in dealing with the brides mother- who by the way has three more kids whose weddings she can undermine. I only have one son and I want them to have their wedding they way they want it but mindful of their guests. Yet you were ready to not attend his wedding and disown him because he wasn't doing what YOU wanted him to do....? They called the caterer this morning and they are going to open the hall within 15 minutes of the ceremony ending so eveyone can sit and relax while we wait for them to return. ...Ah, so now you're all good with them because they finally caved to YOUR pressure My future daugher in law and son spent the better part of last night deciding to do what they want for their wedding and not involve the parents which is what we told them to do in the first place when we gave them the money. It is your wedding YOU plan it. Really? Because it sounds like they are just trying to figure out a way to please both you and her mom, and not doing what THEY want at all. They are getting pressure from both sides, and you are both taking it out on them. I am glad they are going to do that and I am glad to see that they are taking charge and not letting the guests hang in a small entryway for over an hour. Yes, we get it, you are glad they are finally caving to YOU just like they caved to her mom....My son said to me two days ago he did not want people hanging in an entryway waiting on them. This is a good start and he promised to be more mindful of my feelings in the future and not take his stress out on me but talk with his fiance.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

I still see a lot of YOU, YOU, YOU in this.....

jemmini6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:2be2787b-7d58-4336-80c0-18332ca4e8ba">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]Again, I'm with Jem. Also have to say, obviously I wasn't there, so I don't know, but was the "I will kill you if you say anything" seriously a THREAT? Because everyone seems to be super honed in on that, but I'm wondering if it was said out of joking exasperation? My mother told my brother she'd shoot him if he put something on FB a few weeks ago at dinner and my toy collection (which is currently packed to move) has some similar "threat" written on the boxes warning people to be seriously careful handling them. When I read it, I imagined your son having a "dude, I will kill you if you embarrass me at this event" kind of tone going on like he might use with a buddy. While probably not appropriate, if that's the case then I think there's a whole lot of overreactng going on.
Posted by StageManager14[/QUOTE]

I thought the same thing about that comment. I'm pretty sure we've all sarcastically said "I'll kill you if ____". Unless you really thought he was serious and literally feared for your safety, then I don't see it as that big of a deal. Of course, if you thought it was inappropriate and overreacting and felt he should apologize, which it seems like what you meant, then that's where the whole "you need to talk to him" comes from.

I just still get the sense that you think you've done nothing wrong, it's all everyone else's fault, you are right in all things, etc, which really doesn't sound like it's the case at all. Everyone in this situation seems to have overreacted or acted inappropriately at times, but you can't control everyone else, you can only control you, and you are just as guilty with some of this tension as the others.

MIMOG · July 2012

Apparently I have a poster or two with absolutely no life to answer this question over and over. 20K plus responses? OMG is your life that lacking? Good luck with your super uber judgemental lives. I was a little down but man you could drive someone to suicide with your repeated and unnecessary judgemental attitudes if I really gave a crap what you thought. At least I have a life to return to and one that had an issue that has been resolved. I thought this might be a friendly place to write to help resolve an issue but nope this place is not friendly at all.

gurrlballa10 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:cf5cc09d-736c-41cc-becd-bd24f92eeeb6">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]Apparently I have a poster or two with absolutely no life to answer this question over and over. 20K plus responses? OMG is your life that lacking? Good luck with your super uber judgemental lives. I was a little down but man you could drive someone to suicide with your repeated and unnecessary judgemental attitudes if I really gave a crap what you thought. At least I have a life to return to and one that had an issue that has been resolved. I thought this might be a friendly place to write to help resolve an issue but nope this place is not friendly at all.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

Holy crap. You are one SUPER sensitive person. And pretty damn judgemental yourself. You see all the blue? That's you...being judgemental. Pot, meet kettle.

jemmini6 · July 2012

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-boards_reception-ideas_105-minute-wait-between-chruch-and-reception-due-to-mob-nonsense?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20BoardsForum:5Discussion:fda4b425-8623-453f-9d26-a5ae1451e208Post:cf5cc09d-736c-41cc-becd-bd24f92eeeb6">Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense</a>:
[QUOTE]Apparently I have a poster or two with absolutely no life to answer this question over and over. 20K plus responses? OMG is your life that lacking? Good luck with your super uber judgemental lives. I was a little down but man you could drive someone to suicide with your repeated and unnecessary judgemental attitudes if I really gave a crap what you thought. At least I have a life to return to and one that had an issue that has been resolved. I thought this might be a friendly place to write to help resolve an issue but nope this place is not friendly at all.
Posted by MIMOG[/QUOTE]

You asked for advice, we gave it. Just because you didn't like being told that you should look in the mirror for being judgemental and controlling of your son's wedding doesn't mean that we were rude. It just means that you can't handle the truth.

Seriously, if you could only realize that you are in the wrong here too, you might be able to actually resolve some of your issues, but that's apparently not what you wanted. You just wanted validation that you were right, and everyone else was wrong, and you are totally justified for judging your son's religion and budget and how they are planning their wedding. Got it.

sxcwed · July 2012

Don't come online and ask for opinions if all you wanted was for a bunch of people to surround you with lovely praises and tell you you're completely right and everyone around you is wrong.

You make me want to go and see my mom and give her a huge hug. Just for being normal.

ZeroOrchestra · July 2012

You sound like my MIL. And I feel sorry for your FDIL.

gmcr78 · July 2012

I think that over-reaction just proved that the PP's were right in their responses.

lisa&arthur · July 2012

Weddings can be stressful on everyone. I have to admit when I read your post I felt bad for your son and his fiance. They are trying to juggle between everyone's demands. You say that you only asked for this one thing, but you dont really know in what other ways they may be accommodating you that you didnt have to fight them for. Perhaps they already know some things that are important to you and have incorporated them already. Perhaps they thought you would be less demanding than the MOB and felt it was easier not to accommodate you on this request because you may be more reasonable about the fact that it is their wedding. The couple has a million requests put on them when they are planning the wedding. Everyone has an opinion or a must have. Your son is obviously stressed trying to please everyone and it really isnt up to you to decide which requests they accommodate and which requests they decide they just can not accomodate. Now that he has adjusted to your wishes you are happy again and it is hard for me to feel anything other than sorry for them. You seemed very angry when they seemed to be doing what the MOB wanted and not what you wanted (Someone isnt going to get their way when there are opposing requests), and now you are happy that you will get your way. You said you told them to do what they want (seemingly) becuase you felt they agreed with you. I cant help but think that had they disagreed with you and you and the MOB were on the same side you would have told them to do what was "right" (for you you and the MOB).

I honestly feel bad for the two getting married who are trying to make everyone happy.

Leenie10 · July 2012

OP, a whole lotta drama and bad feelings over something that is supposed to be a happy occasion for your son! Take a step back and recognize that you do not have to have a relationship with the MOB, you only have to tolerate her until the wedding is over. Focus on what you need to do to maintain a relationship with your son, end of story.

105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense

Re: 105 minute wait between chruch and reception due to MOB nonsense

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