Destination Weddings Discussions

Vent- FI fight. Long

So, I realize that just because he put a ring on my finger that doesn't mean that we share the same brain and everything will be perfect in our lives from now on....but, we had our first fight yesterday since we got engaged 3 months ago and I feel so bad about it! I know differences happen, trust me we've been together almost 7 years now, but I just want our engagement to be a happy time for us. It wasn't wedding related, it was stupid really. He was only going to be home for one day (not going to see him again until next wednesday)and I wanted to go out and do something fun like go to the park or see a movie. Fi wanted to do chores, errands, give the dogs a bath, ect... I know after 7 years together that he is obsesive compulsive and it drives him crazy for things to be left undone, but geez can't we give it a break for one day? I should have just let him do it and the day would have gone smoothly but NO I just had to make my point. So we had an arguement, didn't go out and do anything fun because we were mad and he had to leave this morning to go back to work. I'm sad now, guess it wasn't worth the arguement.

Re: Vent- FI fight. Long

  • I'm sorry! It really doesn't matter if you know how something is going to end anyway, sometimes you just have to speak your piece and deal with the consequences. I'm sure by Wednesday this will have blown over and maybe you guys can get some chores done & do something fun?FI and I hardly ever really fight, we both work really hard at having calm communication because both sets of our parents have very bad communication in their marriages. With that said, I did get pretty pissed at FI tonight. We went to dinner with his family tonight for a big announcement, and he & his dad start knocking back the beers. Now, FI hardly ever drinks like that so that doesn't bother me, what bothers me and made me mad was that FI knows if he & his dad start drinking together they also start in on one another and arguing. So that makes for a very very tense and uncomfortable situation, and FI knows I hate that. Plus then FI complains about whatever was said, and I just hate listening to it at this point. I told him I don't want to hear any complaining tonight because he knew this would happen so he basically invited it in. He was not very happy I said that, I knew he wouldn't be, but I had to say it.Sorry my reply was so long! lol. It was bothering me so I had to get it out there.Also, the big announcement we all went to dinner for is because FSIL is pregnant again! I'm pretty excited to be an Auntie again. I'm kind of hoping it's a girl! FI's family is all boys so a little girl would be fun. But really, the main this is just for a healthy baby. :)Of course this also led to FI parents saying "So when are you two going to have kids??" I just want to scream when they do that. We aren't even married yet.
  • Awww, that's too bad... hugs to you.  These things happen though! 
  • Sarlah...Thanks! I'm glad you got yours out too. I would be pretty pissed too if my FI put me in that type of situation with my FIL. Especially if he new better. Hopefully next time he will make a better decision. Not to brag, but I must say that I'm the luckiest girl in the world with the FIL's. They are wonderful and have treated me like their daughter for years. I'm blessed. As for my FI I know how o.c. he is about cleaning and having things in order so I shouldn't be surprised that he wanted to do these things first. I know that there are times in life when you have to bite your tongue, but I'm not good at that at all! I'm so opinionated and sometimes it's not helpful. We usually work well together and when we do disagree it's over something small and stupid, like cleaning. I really should be thankful to have a man that does dishes, laundry, washes dogs, and sweeps the floor. Most women get stuck doing it all and my FI would never do that to me. He bought me a new car for Christmas last year and washes it every week because he says he doesn't want me to have to ride around in a dirty car. What can I say, he is so sweet, I don't know why it was so important to make my point yesterday. Gone til Wednesday...regret. p.s. when are you going to have a baby? hahahahah, just kidding!!! Get married first.
  • Your FI does sound very sweet and helpful! That's soooo great :)My FI is like that also, and it's so refreshing to be with a man who likes to help me with boring things like cleaning.Hahaha... yeah seriously. My FIL's have to be the only IL's in history who actually want their son and FDIL to have kids before they get married? What the heck is that about?? First- I don't want to be pregnant in Mexico if I can help it, Second - we know we don't want to have kids for at least a couple years, if we have them at all. I wish FIL's could accept that, but they are "potential grandparents" as they like to call it, and reserve the right to hassle us about it, just like we can decide not to listen. Whatever! lol.
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