Destination Weddings Discussions

Newbie on DW

Hi everyone! We have decided to change our wedding plans from the big traditional wedding to a destination wedding. My fiance and I are looking at an island, such as Turks & Caicos, Fiji, Tahiti, Maldives, etc., but have not decided...need help with that:-)Anyways, were going to have a reception when we get back.We would like to go on our DW in Feb.We have already asked our family and friends to be in our wedding and I don't know how to tell them besides just coming out bluntly.I am a honest person, so it won't be hard to do, its just I feel badly.I have posted in etiquette forum, but man, I really got some mean responses!My fiance, my father, his girlfriend will be the only attendees and the reason were having a recept when we get back is so the family and us can all celebrate.We don't want any gifts or anything, just want to celebrate with family.Anyways, some suggestions would be appreciated on how to tell them.I just couldn't fathom spending all that money on a traditional wedding, and I know we could of spent way less, but it was a choice that FI and I made after the "engagement period" time.You know how when you get engaged and your so excited and you start planning but than come to the realization that reality hit? lol..that was me. Anyways, thanks for reading!

Re: Newbie on DW

  • The way I see it, everyone wants a reason to go on a vacation :) Are you thinking Feb of 2010? If you want a island, but don't want the cost of the fabulous Caribbean island I would recommend looking at Cozumel. It is an island off of the Yuctan Pennisula on the Caribbean side. That is where we are getting hitched. It is quite inexpensive. We are going down in Nov to relax and finalize the wedding locale and it was only 600 bucks a person for 5 nights at an AI and the round trip flight. We are staying and a lower end place, but it just shows how inexpensive flights can be!! I would suggest a creative way to ask them, but I can't think of anything cute this early in the morning :) It's still only 5:50 here! Good luck, and I'm sure everyone will be overly excited that you want to make them part of your special day, especially if they know that they mean so much to you!
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  • I just want to say welcome over here! I think honestly just be honest with them.  You two had planned a big weddng, but have decided it just isn't for you guys.  You are going to have a private ceremony wth just your dad and his gf, but are looking forward to seeing everyone at the reception to celebrate with them. As for no presents, you can always say on the invite.. Your presence is our present, and if they get you gifts, it is their choice.
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  • Welcome to the board! I'm my case it was easier because we wanted a DW since the beining, but some of out family members didn't take it that well. We just told them out plans, plain and simple...that is what we want, we are paying for the wedding and they could join us if they wanted, if not, well that's ok too. We can't force them to come. At first we were gonna elope, but we felt bad for FI's mom and we decided to invite parents and siblings...as it turns out FI's family is not going after all, but my whole family will be attending.My recomendation will be to let them know as soon as you have your location picked out, so they have time to save the money. Some might tell you that they can't go and can't afford it, but those are the things we all deal with. Make a list of the "must have" people at your wedding and work aorund that; but don't be too dissapointed if some of them decide not to go. Remember that this is your wedding and you and your FI are the ones that need to happy with the decisions, don't try to please other people and make sure what you decide is what you really wanted...no regrets.Good luck! and Happy Planning!
  • Welcome!   The DW Board is very friendly as you will find out very soon!  The majority of the DW knotties here are doing the exact same thing as you..... having a destination wedding and then AHR's upon our return.  You will get tons of inspiration, advice and suggestions here and you can always vent any frustrations you're having!  As I said, there are  a great group of women here who will be your support system so no worries on this board!Good luck with your planning!  :)
  • Congrats on your up comming dw! You'll have so much fun planning! These group of girls have been wonderful! As for family just sit them down and explain that you rather have a dw and give your reasons and that you will still have an AHR to celebrate with family, maybe make your reception more formal for the satisfaction of family. Btw do you live in MI? if so where at?
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  • Welcome!!! My FI and I did the same thing... we started planning this HUGE Dallas wedding... and it was getting completely out of control. Right before we paid the deposits on a few people we booked, I looked at FI and said "its not too late to run away"... and the next day we cancelled everything and booked a small chapel in Maui! It was pretty easy with my family because it is what they wanted us to do all along, but not a lot of FI's family can afford to go. We were honest with them and told them that even though we would LOVE to be married with all our family and friends, the wedding was out of control and it wasn't turning into something that we wanted. I think some people were disappointed, but they are over it now. Everyone is excited, and we are having an AHR in October for the people who can't make it to Maui. GL planning!! :-)
  • Thank you for all the warm thoughts!! Yes, I am in Michigan...GR to be exact (couldn't remember who I am resonding to, sorry.):-) I am so glad I have found a board that is so nice. I have had my share of negative energy on some others, but anyways!! Our wedding is going to be just us on the beach with my father, and his gfriend.We don't want to have a bunch there, just us is fine and than the recept when we get back. Yes, February 2010....any ideas on where to go? Cozumel sounds wonderful too!!! We have always wanted to stay at least for a day or so on an overwater bungalow, but it is expensive.Than we could stay in a resort after that, just so we had the experience.My father is paying for the entire DW, so this is helping us out TREMENDOUSLY.We didn't plan on asking, but he just came out and said it this past weekend and I was in total shock.He knows were looking at Turks Caicos, so at least he has a head warning on the expense.I just didn't want to even mention anything on him paying for anything.We were going to do it ourselves.But this was a reality hit for me!!! I REALLY PRAISE EVERYONE WHO CAN DO THIS ALL ON THEIR OWN...
  • I live near saginaw....well that's the closest "big city" that I relate it too! Anyways..good luck planning! Enjoy every moment! Last but not least CONGRATS!
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  • I love the T&C idea...that is an awesome place. The only thing is that you chose one of the most expensive monts for a trip to a warm place and one of the most expensive months for a wedding too. But if that is what you want and your father is willing to help you guys then just enjoy the ride =)
  • Mistym05 : NICE TO MEET YOU!!!:-) There is beautiful places in Saginaw to have the wedding....It is just too far for us if we were to have it here...:-( I looked into it awhile back.
  • Actually I thought it was the most expensive month, but its not the "high season" according to the websites I have looked at. I thought it was at first too. I did tell my dad what about March and he said Feb., so that was even better:-)
  • I love dow gardens in midland! We originally wanted to do some place like T&C but since I am an only child and oldest grandchild we had to go someplace that my whole family could afford or we never would have heard the end of it, so my FI and I are now getting married in clearwater FL
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  • Midland is another gorgeous little town....So are you going to a resort?
  • I *think* that key west is the only place in FL with "all inclusive" resorts. Colin and I are renting a gulf front private beach condo for the week, while our guests will be at a hotel near where we are getting married. I love clearwater, and so I knew when our plans had to change that was where I was going to get married and it is gorgeous and is relatively inexpensive!
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  • Awww..sounds so fun!! Condos are the way to go...:-)
  • The other girls gave great advice.  Hope everything works out for you :)Welcome to the board!
  • If you really want to get "Married" and not just have a symbollic ceremony, definately check the requirements of the country you are looking into.  Fiji, Tahiti and the Maldives have VERY strict requirements often meaning you have to be a resident for 30 days prior. Anyhow...welcome and good luck!!!  At the end of the day... its about what you and your FI want : ).
  • Hi and welcome! Don't mind the other boards... they are mean to everyone. I think practially every single bride on here is have an AHR (at home reception) so don't let that bother you.  
  • Thanks everyone...Yea, I am having a hard time finding an island that doesn't require some long stay beforehand. Maybe we should just get married at the JOP...can we do this and than have something on the beach also there? What do you all think?
  • I think most islands in the Carribean only require 24-48 hours stay before. BTW - welcome to the board!
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  • [i]I have posted in etiquette forum, but man, I really got some mean responses![/i] No you didn't. People just told you the truth. I'm sorry it's not what you wanted to hear. Anyway, I'm getting married in T&C in February. Page me here or on P&E if you have any questions. HTH.
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  • OH MY!!:-( I wasn't expecting such a response in the "nice" woman posts, aka destination weddings...WOW!
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