Destination Weddings Discussions

Upset with sister over destination wedding

My wedding is in Israel where my sister lives. I just got back from looking at venues, photographers, etc. My sister offered to help me back in Dec. when I brought up having my wedding in Israel. I even called her before I got the tickets to make sure it didn't interfere with her schedule.My fiance and I stayed with her for 2 weeks and though she took us to see 5 different venues, she complained the entire time and stayed out late with friends and to go on dates. Then she would get up early to go to work and after work she needed to take us to see the venues.On a trip to our kibbutz when my fiance wasn't around, she got in a fight with me about how I forced her to give my fiance a ride to visit his brother for the weekend to a place she wasn't familiar with. Even though I said from the beginning that I would get a GPS and it was 20 min from where she lives. She said we were unappreciative of all the work she did and I told her it was hard to appreciate her when she was grouchy and telling my fiance to "Take out the f*cking trash" . She didn't know that he asked me that morning if he should take it out  and I told him to wait for my sister to get home so she could show us where the garabage container outside her building was.She also admitted that she had started dating a guy (4 dates) and that her "love life was more important than my wedding"I can't believe she would say such a horrible thing. And to top it all off, the relationship with this guy ended before I even left to come back to the States and she said that horrible sentence to me and the guy wasn't even worth it. She's in her late 30's, never been married so I understand it's important but when family comes to visit, you don't stay out all night! Esp. if you have responsibilities.She's so bi polar. If I don't stay with her, she gets offended and if I do, she doesn't know how to prioritize her time. I don't want this stress right before my wedding and I'm going back to Israel one week before.Needed to vent. Anyone with similar situation or would like to input?

Re: Upset with sister over destination wedding

  • Not in a similar situation, but are you staying at a hotel the week before your wedding?  If you can afford it, you might want to consider doing it to save your sanity.  Maybe have a sleepover with her for sister time.  You don't want fights like this ruining your big day (I have a high maintenance sister too), so having your own time and set family time might help?  I'm sorry you have to deal with this.  Sisters are amazing, but they are certainly trying as well!
  • I can tell you from experience that weddings seem to bring out the worst in sister relationships.  It sucks that she's not more supportive.  She is porbably a little jealous, but that's not your problem.  Just try and except where she is and how she is reacting but don't let it bother you.  Maybe just tell her a few times how happy you are that she is helping you and how much fun you are having hanging out with her.  Even if you don't mean it :)
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • Yeah, I'm looking into staying at an apartment. Of course that will cost extra than staying for free at my sister's but it will be worth it. My mom doesn't want to spend the money not even $99 a night Last summer when she lived with my sister, she came back crying to me saying how terrible my sister was to her.It's awful when your siblings treat their friends better than you because they think they can get away with it.I would be happy to help my sister with anything that was in my power. I would do what she did for me for her wedding. I don't think it's unusual.It's sad when family can't be excited and happy for you.
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