Destination Weddings Discussions

AHR or shower?

So we want to have a party here for those who can't make the wedding to still celebrate with us, but we were thinking of having it right before our wedding.  I'm not completely opposed to having it after, but I guess I feel like more of the excitement will be there if we do it before?  Plus, I figure the guests we invite to the wedding will then get an invite for at home party soon after and not feel as pressured to go to Puerto Rico (if they were on the fence).Anyways, so my question is...if we keep going with the plans to have this party before the wedding, is it still called an AHR or is it like a couple's shower?  FI and I are paying for this, so I hesitate to call it a shower and have people to feel like we are inviting them to this just so we can get gifts.  Or do I just call it a shower and have my mom handle the invites as if she's throwing it even though FI and I are handling it all?  Is there even a rule that it is only called an AHR if it takes place after the wedding?
Gina

Re: AHR or shower?

  • Another thought along the same lines that I know another knottie did was to have a Bon Voyage party before they left. It was sort of like a couples shower, but more casual with less expectations for gifts. Maybe you could call it that?
  • You could always call it a Bon Voyage party or something... You don't really even need to give a name. On the invites you could just say something like "come celebrate with us before we go..."
  • Totally butting in here...That's an interesting concept - Bon Voyage party... It will give people a chance to celebrate the wedding, but still preserve the excitement for the actual ceremony so that people still come to the DW. Interesting~!
  • AHR has a reception-y feeling/meaning to it so that kind of says "after the wedding". I (personally) would shy away from shower because the expectation would be more gift centric and for us with having no registry, no bridal party, etc it wouldn't make sense for us. I totally agree with pps. The Bon Voyage party is a great idea! Definitely less of an expectation for gifts and the excitement would be high and fun! Maybe you can do a DW theme to it so it's matched to the wedding theme?
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  • I am totally relating to this.... We are getting married by ourselves while on a cruise but set aside some money to have an AHR because our families do want to celebrate with us. I was planning to do it a week after we returned, but my FI suggested that we do it the day before we leave for the DW because it would be more exciting. I first thought this was a crazy idea but the more I think about it, the more I like the thought. I don't really want to return from the DW/honeymoon and have to throw a party, it sounds kind of exhausting! I was just going to send out an announcement/invitation that says We're getting married in St. Thomas... Please join us as we celebrate with our family and friends... I have read a lot of posts that debate the etiquette of who to invite, but since we are not taking anyone with us to the wedding we are just inviting everyone.
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