Thought they would come, find out they won't (long)

sarlah

So when FI and I were talking about doing a DW I asked him if he was ok if his extended family didn't come (because they would all be there if we were getting married at home) and he said it was.Well he has two uncles (his mom's brothers) who he thought for sure would come with their families because I guess they both take a couple trips a year to Mexico to go fishing. Now, these uncles go to like parts of Mexico where electricity is iffy and there's no phones.Last weekend we went to a family reunion for FI's family and both of those uncles were there and told us they wouldn't be coming to our wedding because it's in Mexico and "there's no way in hell we're going to Mexico right now." So of course now FI is a little upset because he really thought they would come.I feel really bad because part of the reason he agreed to this was because he thought some of his family would be there, as it turns out it's only going to be his parents & brother there.

sarlah

Ugh, I hit Post Now before I was ready apparently.So I know we shouldn't have been counting on people to come when we didn't know for sure if they would, but I just feel really bad for FI now. I know it's bugging him a lot more than he will admit.Deposits are in and it's not that we want to change our plans, we really can't anyway, I just feel guilty.Some of his family are really acting like they won't come to the AHR either because it's not the actual wedding/reception. Out of both of our families, I expected mine to act that way - not his.I guess I'm just venting because there's really nothing we can do about it now, other than deal with it.Thanks to anyone who actually reads all of this

sarlah

More details:FI was talking about this with his parents, and just to add fuel to the fire, his dad has to mention how one of the uncles won't be coming because his wife (FI's aunt) doesn't like hime. FI has a lot of tattoos and apparently she doesn't like him because of that, which is weird because she's known him his whole life and I guess when he started getting tattoos she decided he's a hoodlum or something. IDK.

SandalGirl

It kind of sounds like he's better off. All you can do is support him if he's feeling poopy about it. I'm glad his parents and siblings are going - they are the most important and they'll represent his whole family. Unfortunately there is not a lot you can do. Boy it sucks when DW's show the icky side of families, which they seem to do a lot. Sending a hug!

ginaherman6

Sorry to hear about your troubles. Hopefully they will come around and realize that this day is about the two of you and what you want. If they don't, then I agree w/ PP and you and him are better off. {{{{{{HUGS}}}}}I also think this is the downside of DW's and that all of us girls are experiencing this stuff in some way or another. Just remember we are all here for you and keep the vents coming!

LadyBird9

That's rough. There are a few people on our list that aren't coming that surprised me... but I keep telling myself that it is to be expected. I wonder if there is any way you can get just the uncles to come? Maybe ask if there was anything you could do to help them get out there? Hope that he doesn't stay too disappointed for too long... big hugs your way!

NYHarleyBride

It sounds like they would find an excuse not to come even if it wasn't a DW. Go, enjoy YOUR day. It is about the two of you. Enjoy the ones that can make it, and the others have the opportunity to come to the AHR. You will never be able to please everyone.

sarlah

Thanks ladies :)And I am continually reminding myself and FI of all the people who will be there, like our parents & siblings, and very close friends. Those are the people we really want there no matter if we were having a DW or a at home wedding.

chosen175

What a rotten thing to say to someone!  UGH!  I feel bad for your FI, but in the end it sounds like you guys will have a much happier day if the nay-sayers are back in the States.  They'll be sorry they missed it when everyone gets back and raves about how awesome it was!  *HUG* Keep in mind that a lot of us have had people tell us they're not planning on going to the DW in an effort to get us to change our minds.  Once they realize the plans aren't going to change because a small percentage of guests throw hissy fits, a lot of them actually end up going.  Just plaster a smile on your face and say "Sorry to hear that, we'll miss having you there" and let it go.

CNN in 2010

I'm sorry to hear that Sarah!  We've had the same problem with Fi's family.... it makes us sad when our closest relatives take us for granted ( But don't let them ruin yours and fi's special moment!Good Luck!

Jess&Ryan2010

I would not be surprised if they end up coming. I say have FI talk with each uncle privately and say how important it is to him that they be there. Sounds like there is more to their excuse. If it is because of safety concerns, he can explain more about the area you both chose. Maybe there are other money issues or people influencing their decision, like you said. Good luck!