Destination Weddings Discussions

I just need to vent: life (long)

Alright so I am young, only 22 and will be married at 23.  Colin and I have been together since we were 15 and 16. It's weird how things bring people so close together that you are inseparable. I have people who are now starting to comment on how we haven't experienced life and we will never stay married etc etc... I'm assuming because they are jealous on how good we are together and how much we love each other but this comments are really starting to hurt me, and starting to just flat out annoy me! Why can't people just deal with the fact two people are young and in love? Is that a hard concept to understand? Well this all has lead to people saying crap about doing a DW wedding.  "The only reason you are doing this is b/c no one likes you, or even care about you" Flat out we chose to do a DW to be unique and do things are own way! This last year was a LONG road... a little back story... June 8,2008 I was involved in a car accident inwhich a girl ran a stop sign going about 90 and I ended up t boning her... both our cars ended up in a ditch, the engine of my PT cruisers was to my knees.  I ended up getting out of the car, getting help etc.  The girl in the other car on the other hand was dead on scene.... I knew this because I went to her car to try and help her.  I was ok no major injuries but some very hard emotional things to deal with...Colin stuck by my side even on my bad days and if it wasn't for him I'm not sure I would be here to type my vent so thank god for life... but with that said.... The other thing bothering me is the people who are saying I "pressured" Colin into proposing.. which is pure BS!  I was very content with where we were, even tho we have been dating for 7 years lol. I did not want more pressure or more to deal with.  Working full time, in nursing clinical, planning a wedding, and dealing with other daily stuff is starting to take a toll on me! My poor hair is falling out, I don't sleep at night, and I am so stressed I'm not sure I can handle all of this anymore! AHH! I wish people weren't so stupid and add stress to my life! I have offically reached my breaking point and am not sure what to do anymore! I have to love all you  girls for all your support and thanks to those who actually read this and comment!
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Re: I just need to vent: life (long)

  • I am sorry to hear people are saying those things. I sure hope they are not going to your wedding then cause you don't need that drama!!Just keep your chin up, you love one another and you will be a beatiful bride and the two of you will make a beautiful couple.
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  •   Misty, You sound like a strong person. You just have to keep your head up. Unfortunately when it rains it pours. Good Luck!
  • Misty - hang in there girl!!!!!! FI and I were 21 when we met, 22 when we got engaged, and are 23 getting hitched. We are also a LOT older mentally than most 23 year olds - we have been through a lot. Usually people think back to when they were 21 and based on their own immaturity they can't understand how someone can make such strong commitments - that is their own d@mn problem! It is up to you and your FI to prove them wrong. Honestly sometimes that keeps me going - knowing that 10, 20, 30 years down the road when WE are STILL together - they will regret saying such unkind words. When my mother married my father (when they were 23), my aunt said to my gma "I give them 2 years" - this was 27 years ago :-) Weddings bring out the best and the worst in people, and its no joke when people say that planning a wedding is SO HARD! Its not necessarily the wedding itself - but everything that goes along with it. Let those nasty comments slide off your back (as best you can - i know its easier said than done) and keep your chin up! This is about [b]YOU and your FI[/b] and don't let ANYONE get in the way of your happiness!!!!! OK that was way long... but I hope you start to feel better soon. And if the stress keeps up for much longer I would maybe go to a Dr - no need to lose hair and sleep!! We love you girl!!
  • While I can't imagine marrying the same person I've dated since hs, that doesn't mean it can't be done. FI's parents were married at 18, and have been together for 30something years, so it is possible! Keep your head up and ignore all the mean comments as best you can. Some people think they're trying to give you an out, or make you see the other side, when all they're being is hurtful.
  • Hang in there and try to stay strong!!My sister married at 22 - to her first boyfriend that she met her sophomore year of college.  My mother was horrified (really bad divorce from my father).  The Priest even said something to my grandfather after they met with him about the wedding b/c he thought she was 17!  Anyway, they have been happily married for 15 years, so really, I firmly believe that age means nothing (espeically since I am a nice mature 34 and finally found my future husband!)
  • Do your parents approve? I dont think you should stress so much over it, its your life, and you should be excited and happy! And BTW, there will DEFINITELY be people who will bash the DW. Im 26 and FI is 27 and there are people in the families who dont LOVE the idea. And we are doing it because we want a smaller more intimate ceremony, we are more of the "fly under the radar" types. Mostly everyone is excited, but there is going to be people bringing you down no matter what kind of wedding you have. I think thats just how it is! My sister already wants to get engaged to her BF of 3 years, she is 21. She only had one other BF before him. No one thinks it is weird or wrong. Obviously she needs to wait until I am married, but I have a feeling as soon as I am married, she will be getting engaged! She will probably be married by the time she is 23.
  • For me personally, I am not at all the same person that I was 10 years ago and never would have lasted with the person I was with in high school, but that's just because it wasn't meant to be.  Unfortunately people judge your situation based on statistics that usually when people get married that young, they end up divorced, but that's just more of a reason for you to prove them wrong.  Only you and your fiance can decide if you are ready to get married.I wasn't losing hair, but I definitely went through a periond of not sleeping and it is anything but fun.  I was crying all the time and just not happy.  Try to break everything down into smaller increments rather than look at the big picture of so much going on in your life.  Obviously the most important thing is nurning school since that is the foundation for your career.  Concentrate on that and try to get help with the wedding stuff.  Don't jepordize your career because your worried about making palm fans :)
  • Thanks girls! You guys are so kind! I know that people will always doubt that people can be young and married, but at this point in time I know that this will work! My parents absolutely love him! He honest is the person who balances me out, I'm hot headed and quick to get angry while Colin on the other hand is calm and cool about everything. People who weren't offically invited started saying they were going to come to FL, which not a huge deal but more mouths to feed. Colin said "the only thing we will see are each other so don't worry about everyone else who is coming" It made the whole situation better and made me realize it is about us, and people who REALLY matter to us are the ones who will be with us! I just have had such a long week and I think this is why things are bothering me so  much!  I pretty much have everything done for the wedding so I can focus on school which starts Monday.  I only have a few little things that can be done on winter break and the month before we get married once school ends in April.  You girls are the best!
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  • I'm so sorry that people have been giving you such a hard time. Remember that you can handle anything thrown at you. Try not to stress out too much. I know it’s easier said than done, just keep focused on the task at hand and let that other BS go. You and your FI know how you feel about each other and your situation. Hang in there, it will be OK. Good Luck!
  • So sorry for all that you've been through Misty!  It just proves though that you and your FI can handle the tough times as well as the good ones!  No one else out there can tell you if you should get married or not, if you know its right (and obviously you do!) then go for it chickie!  My little sis got married last week, she is 23 as well and heard all the same foolishness from people....personally I know they are going to last forever! Keep your head up sweetie, it will all work out fine and we are always here for you! :)
  • Awwww this is so mean from people that say they're your friends. I have to agree with what everyone here has to say and they have covered every aspect of it.If you and FI know that you are both ready  to get marry than don't worry about what anyone else has to say. They don't know you and him how ya know each other and they are not the ones who are going to stay by your side when you need it right? so forget about them, is all about FI and you and if they don't come to your wedding so what you're still going to live your dream and they'll just miss out on an amazing day.

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  • I'm so sorry you're going through that.  No one should ever make two people feel that way.  And I'm sure it's not helping with the stress level at all.  If they're major concerns from your parents or siblings who really know you two, then that would be a tad different.  It still, I'm sure, wouldn't change the way you two actually feel.  However these people are just being spiteful.  I've been in a position that they're talking about.  I was with my ex from 14-20 and was so dead set that this was the man I was going to be with.  Nothing anyone said was going to change my mind and still didn't.  I ended for the fact that we had grown up and apart and I just never realized it.  Regardless what people say, only you two know what your relationship is founded on.  And if you are both happy then no one should tell you differently.  And stick with your decision about your DW.  Eric and I are doing that for the exact same reason.  We're different from most of our family and friends and this is reflecting that.  :::hugs:::
  • *hugs* People can be so mean. Try your best not to let them get to you. The decisions you make in life are none of their business anyway. And if it makes you feel better, I know two couples that I went to highschool with who got married at 18 and now almost 10 yrs later are still married and have kids. Young doesn't necessarily = divorce, and people need to learn how to keep their traps shut.
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