Groom's parents, siblings and best friend can't come to our DW....do we cancel it??

alkus2001

My fiance' and I have been engaged for about 1.5yrs (dating 9+ yrs) and I've got our destination wedding planned and ready to go for May 25th, 2010 on a small island in the Caribbean.... But no one from his family is coming. We've been learning one by one that my fiance's best friend, his sister and her family, his brother, and now his parents can't come. (Mostly all of them due to financial reasons.) Most of my immediate family and several of our mutual friends are coming no problem. We've bought our plane tickets, paid for the wedding, booked the room, I've got my beach dress, the welcome bags, the weekend itinerary, we've sent the save-the-dates...almost everything is already planned and ready to go! But should we cancel and just do a local wedding so his family can actually be at our wedding? We had always planned to do a big cocktail reception after we got back from our honeymoon for our extended family, friends, neighbors, co-workers, etc. But I'd also always thought his immediate family would be at the wedding. We've always said we were having a destination beach wedding so everyone has had about a year and a half heads up...though I definietly understand that obviously there's nothing a person can do if he/she just can't afford a beach vacation - especially in this economy. He and I just didn't expect that NO ONE from his family would be able to attend!! Any ideas?? Am I being selfish by not just cancelling? My groom-to-be doesn't know what he wants to do. I don't want him to be sad. But I don't want to cancel our wedding, either!

CanadianBride84

Can u help pay for his parents Is just three nights an option

SandalGirl

That totally sucks.  Is helping them an option?  If not, would you consider getting married courthouse or justice of peace style with those few before the wedding in the caribean?  That is a terrible situation, but I think if you're this far in planning you can't cancel.  Try to make it so they can come or can take part in some small way.  How are they about it?  Do they understand?

lgazda102

Go with your heart. If you feel that you absolutely need to have them there, try to help them financially or shorten the length of the trip. As a last resort, cancel.However, if you are okay with not having them there, then have that wedding in the Caribbean.I am getting married in Tahiti in June 2010 and the only family members that are coming along are my parents and his parents. At first I felt some guilt that our families wouldnt be there (we have pretty big, close-knit families) but then I realized its our day and it should be what we want. I do not think its selfish. Your families should understand whatever you choose. Go with your heart-- it wont steer you wrong.

SandalGirl

Ahh. Ignore my post.  PP is perfect. So wise

nycgirlkat

Its disappointing, to say the least.  My brother in law and my nieces are not coming to my wedding in Mexico because he feels its too dangerous to fly and that Mexico is also not safe, so my sister is attending alone - he even convinced his parents not to come to the wedding because it wasn't safe.  I can't tell you how much that hurt my feelings when there really is no apparent danger in the Riviera Maya.  HELLO....we live in New York City!If at all possible, try to save up some money so that you can at least help your FI's parents.  If thats not possible, can you hire a videographer?  Maybe have your ceremony taped and have his parents over for the first viewing of it?A large amount of my family and friends aren't coming to my wedding either (even though they also had a year to save up or make plans) - the excuses are the same - no money, no childcare arrangements, can't get the time off, etc.  So I will enjoy my day to the fullest on the beach in Mexico and let everyone beg to see my video when I get my video home!!!! :)Do what you want to do!

JSBB2010

I'm a very blunt person so take my words with a grain of salt. Don't cancel, go with your plans that you've spent lots of time planning, and then have a reception at home later. Maybe I sound selfish but if I changed everything I've done now for someone else I would probably hold a grudge and regret changing it. That's just me. As pp said, go with your heart and work it out with you and your fi. Maybe you and your fi could even help pay for his parents to attend so he could at least have them there.