How do I tell my FI family about the destination wedding?

Annekah

So I just got engaged but I have been thinking about our wedding for a while now. My dad lives in Spain and can't travel to the US for my wedding. I also have a lot of family in Spain and the more I think about it the more I like the idea of having an intimate wedding in Spain.... But how do I tell my Fiance's family that we are going to have a wedding in Spain, it's so expensive how can I even ask that of them... What should I do???

sarlah

Well I went with the bandaid approach - do it once & quickly. When is your wedding? Would your FI's family have enough time to save money so they could come? I think that you should approach it by stating that it's not an option for your dad to come here for your wedding, so you want to have an intimate wedding in Spain so your dad can walk you down the aisle. I'm sorry, but if you put it that way it will be difficult (but not impossible) for them to have valid arguments against it. You should be ready for hesitations, hurt feelings, & questions. If this is really what you want then you have to stick to it.

When my DH & I told my MIL that we wanted to get married in Cancun, she straight up said "No. I don't like that." And she seriously expected us to be like... "oh, ok! Sorry, what would you like?" That didn't happen. For at least half of our engagement my IL's both said that this wasn't a real wedding and they didn't understand it. Of course, they enjoyed it the most once we were in Cancun. So... stick to your guns. This is your wedding and it should be everything you dream of.

natalie115

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_tell-fi-family-destination-wedding?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:375fe7d2-46fe-42e1-bd14-22858a396217Post:2fe2bf13-c5b7-411c-8ecf-c88556460fc6">Re: How do I tell my FI family about the destination wedding?</a>:
[QUOTE]Well I went with the bandaid approach - do it once & quickly. When is your wedding? Would your FI's family have enough time to save money so they could come? I think that you should approach it by stating that it's not an option for your dad to come here for your wedding, so you want to have an intimate wedding in Spain so your dad can walk you down the aisle. I'm sorry, but if you put it that way it will be difficult (but not impossible) for them to have valid arguments against it. You should be ready for hesitations, hurt feelings, & questions. If this is really what you want then you have to stick to it. When my DH & I told my MIL that we wanted to get married in Cancun, she straight up said "No. I don't like that." And she seriously expected us to be like... "oh, ok! Sorry, what would you like?" That didn't happen. For at least half of our engagement my IL's both said that this wasn't a real wedding and they didn't understand it. Of course, they enjoyed it the most once we were in Cancun. So... stick to your guns. This is your wedding and it should be everything you dream of.
Posted by sarlah[/QUOTE]

This is pretty much the same advice I would give. It might help to do a little research and find some travel options in different price ranges that you can show them. Make sure you give them plenty of notice so they will have time to save up the money.

smilz4milz

When we told DH's mom & grandma and my dad we had brochures to give them (my mom was beyond excited that we were going to Jamaica, so she was easy to tell).

We decided to give them a visual to see how beautiful the DW location is (we had the resort brochures to give them).

GL!

Annekah

Ok thanks for the advice! It's not until May 2011 so they have time it's just going to be expensive... Thanks a lot though!