Kids invited to a destination wedding/reception?

kymchris

ugh, so confused about us inviting kids to a destination wedding and reception.  I would like to only invite immediate family's children but not friends.  we are getting married at a great resort though w/a lot of kids stuff to do, so i'm worried people may want to bring kids!  What is the "right" thing to do?

Tanq&Tonic

The right thing to do is what you want and can afford.  If you don't want children there, it's important to let parents know ahead of time so they don't buy plane tickets only to find out the children shouldn't be attending.  I know most parents don't like to leave their children with sitters they don't know, especially in a foreign place.  Thus, some are likely to decline or leave their kids at home rather than deal with the sitter situation at your resort.

I think I would personally be annoyed if a bunch of other kids were there, but mine weren't allowed.  If it's like one or two kids of family members, like your nephews or something, are allowed, that's OK.  If it's more like 1/3 or 1/2 of the guests could have kids and not the rest, it would definitely seem weird.

saric83

If you're inviting other people's kids, I would suggest extending it to everyone.  With a typical large wedding, you could easily get away with just having kids from immediate family (which I personally still find rude when people do that), but when it's going to be a smaller group, that would just be awkward when your friends find out.  

But besides that, inviting the kiddos might increase the odds that their parents would go!  The trip is for your wedding, but for most people it's also their vacation (possibly, the only one they'll be able to afford or take time off of work for that year.)  We had a lot of friends who felt guilty about the idea of taking their vacation time for a trip with just them.  We ended up inviting everyone with kids, but no one ended up bringing them anyway.   

What makes you not want to invite them?

kymchris

ugh, so confused.  I and my fiance only have about 8 kids from immediate family however our friends have about 3 or 4 kids per family, which is about 25 kids if all the adults came!  i doubt they will all come, however, it could be 20 additional heads, being kids from 2yrs old to over 16...and they get charged as an adult if they are over 10.  i dont care if kids come to the bahamas, but i just dont want to have to include them in teh receitpion and the ceremony (we only have 50 seats at teh ceremony also)!

Erinkathleen84

I think it would be fine just to invite the kids you are related to. That sounds like equal kids and adults and I am not sure you want that !

saric83

Have you talked with any of your friends about it?  Do you get the vibe that they want to bring the kids? 

Would you be bummed if some of your friends weren't able to come since you didn't want the kids, or is it something you could live with?

I guess it just comes down to your budget and you guys knowing your friends.  In my circle, it would seriously piss my friends (and family) off if their kids were deliberately told not to come and then they got to a kid-friendly resort with other wedding guests that were kids.  If it were an adults-only affair back home, that would be a-okay for them to be away for a few hours....not so much for a few days when other kids were there.   

WinstonsGirl

We were planning on a no kids wedding before deciding to go away.  As soon as we made that decision, all kids were invited as I didn't want friends and family to stay home as there would be no one to baby-sit in Hawaii.  That said, most people with kids either aren't coming, or are trying to leave the kids for a week with grandparents!  

Erinkathleen84

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_kids-invited-destination-weddingreception?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:5e984cf8-6b42-4523-b6dc-8b9ba913d08ePost:4dabe668-09d4-40af-8102-fa13823732a2">Re: Kids invited to a destination wedding/reception?</a>:
[QUOTE]We were planning on a no kids wedding before deciding to go away.  As soon as we made that decision, all kids were invited as I didn't want friends and family to stay home as there would be no one to baby-sit in Hawaii.  <strong>That said, most people with kids either aren't coming, or are trying to leave the kids for a week with grandparents!  
</strong>Posted by kje_[/QUOTE]

Same with us ! We told everyone they could bring there kids, but there are only 2 coming (my flowergirls).

kymchris

Thank you for your replies.  Initially, when we started planning, i was for ALL kids to be invited in case our guests wanted to make it a family vacation.  However, after we started "tallying' who may come and who may not and how many kids everyone had, kids out number the adults for the most part!  The majority of the kids are probably 8 and older....so for the kids who are 4-11 yrs old it would cost $50 a kid for the reception and the kids 12 and older it would cost $95 a kid.  I guess that's not too bad, unless i have 25 kids show up!
Still not sure what to do   Thank you again though.

nicolej518

Does the resort have a Kiddie Club or a Teen Club? If so, they may just want to be there instead of having to sit down to a formal meal anyway, especially the younger kids. The older kids may enjoy sitting down to a meal for a wedding. Also, depending on the number of older kids you have, and how comfortable the families are with allowing them to watch the younger kids (depending on the relationships I suppose), they could play outside for a bit, and spring for a movie night and get them snacks and popcorn! Just make srue they stay out of the minibar!!