is anyone NOT having an AHR?

manda311

We've had a lot of problems trying to plan an AHR. I have been extremely stressed out about it the past 2 weeks. We finally decided that we are just going to have a small dinner with close family & friends instead of some big huge party. I finally feel a lot better about it. The whole point of the DW was to not spend the money like we would a wedding at a home, which we would've ended up doing at our AHR. The only problem is, not everyone is going to be able to come. Part of me feels bad, and part of me knows I can't include everyone and is okay with that.

Is anyone else not having something big?

siba1119

We didn't have an AHR.  There was going to be too much family drama associated with it, so we were better off.  We did do a nice dinner with both of our immediate families and ordered a cake.  I think that turned out to be the best idea :-) 

HTH!

lmydogally

We aren't,  I didn't want to add stress or more $$ once the wedding was over.  We invited everyone to the wedding in Hawaii and when it's done it's done. 

Beth0413

We're not having one either. I think we are just going to do a small cook out type dinner with our family & closest friends, nothing big nor expensive.

SimplyMistaken

If we had known what it would turn into-we would not have. 

We are now spending over 10K on a "wedding celebration" that was supposed to be a casual thing in the backyard.  It has become a fiasco. 

Do what makes you happy.  You can't please everyone all the time.

SandalGirl

We're doing just a BBQ party at our new house.  We will keep it under 1000 for food and bevvies - so pretty casual - we are however, worried about fitting 100ish people in our townhouse.  

allakarasik

Wow, this didn't even occur to either myself or fi to have an AHR. The entire point of having a DW for us was to keep the entire wedding and everything leading up to it very low key and small.

*tinkertoy*

We are still debating but leaning towards no AHR.

HappyGoLuckyGal

We aren't having one either (despite my mom repeatedly hinting that it would be nice). We wanted to spend all our budget on the wedding in Hawaii. We understand that everyone can't make it, but we are having one celebration. 

FutureMrs.McC

We had one.  My parents paid for it so don't tattle on me but I really wish we didn't do it at all.  Don't get me wrong, I wanted to have one but we had such a great time in Jamaica and our AHR just left a bad taste in my mouth.  I had to hunt people down for RSVPs then we had quite a large number people not show up.  It hurt my feelings and pissed me off.  Also, it was kind of weird to already be married.  It was ok and I'm grateful for such wonderful parents. 

dew3162

You are exactly right about the reason for having a DW wedding.  FI is born and raised here on the island and his family alone is over 300 people so there was no way to have a wedding here and invite everyone, hence the DW.  We are not doing an AHR either, mainly for the same reason.  We just simply cannot afford a party of that magnitude then have to deal with people getting mad if they aren't invited and such. 

angybanez

We're still planning one (I guess I'm the odd woman out! haha) but just planning a simple casual dinner with friends/family who are not able to make it. I already have a place in mind where I planned my sister's baby shower (complete with her friends and our family) and it fit many people and the price was not bad and the food was great (set menu). If people do not RSVP for that when they get the initial invite then they are not included. It's easy enough to say no we cannot attend the DW but will be happy to attend the dinner celebration in NY (however it is worded when we write the invite). 

umdchic17

We're not having one, and it's causing a lot of drama. We are inviting everyone to the wedding, but we have a large family and many of them will not be able to afford to come to the destination wedding. My fiance is in the military and we are moving out of the country immediately following the wedding. We cannot afford (nor do we want to) to fly back for a weekend so that they can have a reception with us. However, there have been a lot of comments about this being selfish of us, to expect them to travel for our wedding when we won't travel for an AHR.  Sigh... you just can't please them all.

AuntieJo

I don't think we're going to have an AHR.  I don't think that ANYONE from my side of the family will be  at the DW except for my step-father and his new girlfriend... as you can probably imagine he is not in touch with "my family" anymore.  Anyhow, they are all SO ANGRY that we have chosen a DW and are not supportive at all.  So, why give in?  Why would I spend that kind of money on a party just to deal with drama??!!  Oh, it looks like I've made a decision.

I'm surprised to read that so many people are NOT having one.  I love this place.  I was feeling really bad about it--but I feel a lot better now.    Thx

Joanne

surreal.heidi

We're not having one either.  We're having our wedding on an island in Greece but we already live in Greece anyway.  My whole family lives in USA, and the wedding is really far away from where we live in Greece, so it's still a DW for all involved (his family too) but NO WAY am I going back to the US afterwards for ANOTHER party.  Too expensive and everyone is invited to the wedding; if they can't come, it's no problem at all.  I just can't even wrap my mind around the expense of an AHR ($3000 just to get FI and I to the US).

deb2121

We are not having one either, but like some of you said we are getting pressure from the mothers. None of my neices and nephews are coming so they thought it would be nice to celebrate with them and others that could make it afterwards. We decided on the DW for a reason, and I completely understand if people cant come. But I am sending out an invitation to everyone so they dont think that there is going to be an AHR.  I dont want to foot the bill for another party.