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Opinion on Elopements -help!!!

Hey there knotties-

So, I'm relatively new to the site and I wish I could post more and be more of an active part of the community but my life is just so hectic that it's hard to find time.  A little back ground on myself: I'm currently in grad school to be a physician assistant, so studying and lecture take up most of my time.  My fiance', Nathan, works away 3 weeks out of the month to pay off his school loans and to save money for our future (aka wedding, house, etc).  We got engaged January 5, 2012 in Key Largo (he proposed underwater while we were scuba diving Laughing).  We are planning to get married June 2013 after I graduate.

Both of our DREAMS since we met was to get married on the beach.  However, we are finding more and more through researching tons of beachs in the US to have the amount of people we want (around 60), in June, etc etc is turning out to be a lot more money than we were wanting to spend.  We wanted to stay in the US so our families could go and not spend a lot of money. My dad just lost a job, so my parents don't have money to contribute, and there hasn't been any money set aside anywhere for our wedding, so it'd be coming out of Nathan's pocket. We were planning on having a at home reception at his parent's house in the yard where we could invite anyone and everyone, so my thoughts are:Why can't we just go to a Carribean island, get married there by ourselves (or maybe witha few people that would want to come), have our honeymoon there, then come home and have the big party?  When it comes down to it, all that is important to me is that I marry Nathan on a beach, and we have a big celebration at home. Just hope my parents are okay with it, lol.

I need some thoughts and opinions on elopement. I don't think I would regret it, but I'd like to see if anyone has done it or knows someone who has done it.  please and thank you Smile

Re: Opinion on Elopements -help!!!

  • I'm eloping in May. This is my second wedding so I didn't want a big wedding because I already did that and spent a lot of money! We actually planned our vacation to Hawaii and then decided to get married there. We are keeping it a secret though because my sister is getting married this year and I know my family wouldn't have the money to come to Hawaii also. It's her first wedding so I want all the whoopla (is that a word??) to be for her. I think that elopements are great as long as you won't be upset if certain people can't make it. Just like you, all that is important is that I marry my soul mate on the beach. When I tell my family, I know they will be relieved!
    ~jenn~ Photobucket Anniversary
  • Welcome and Congratulations!
    I eloped to Maui earlier in the month.  I don't have any regrets.  I am older and this was my second marriage.  Neither my husband nor myself had any desire for the big wedding and reception so an elopement was perfect for us.
    You need to decide what is and what isn't important for you.  Who you feel absolutely needs to be there etc. and go from there.
    Good luck with whatever you decide.
    image Anniversary
  • Thanks =]

    This is both of our first weddings (hopefully our last lol).  When everything started adding up for a East Coast, US wedding, I kept thinking "is this really worth it?"  Yeah, I like the celebration and the party and stuff, but at the end of the day, it's about who you are married to and getting off on the right foot.  At that time, we will just have paid off all of his school debt, and I will be coming into the marriage with lots of school debt, so do I really want to add more potential debt or not have enough money for a house?
  • WinstonsGirlWinstonsGirl The Cold North member
    Knottie Warrior 2500 Comments 500 Love Its 5 Answers
    I agree with others.  You have to do what is right for you.  Think about the important things you need at your wedding (beach) and who must be there.  If you don't need anyone there adn don't want a big ceremony, then elope.  If you want certain people there or certain elements, then look at a smaller (or larger) wedding either away or closer to home.  Are you close to any sandy beaches were you live?  That might be an easier idea while still giving you the sandy beach you want
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  • I say as long as you are okay with it then go for it. As the others said you need to figure out what is most important to you and your FI and be able to stand your ground because people may question your decision. In the mean time keep us posted when you can. We would love to hear your progress. :)
    Anniversary image my read shelf:
    Cathy (CathyL7910)'s book recommendations, liked quotes, book clubs, book trivia, book lists (read shelf)
  • We live in Pennsylvania, and I've looked into beach weddings from Florida to New Jersey.  My FI is has a mixed and extended but not family (aka a lot of divorces and only a select few who he is close to) but still he couldn't bring his guest list lower thatn 30, so a 60 person beach wedding in the US was a lot more money than we want.

    Well, he just asked his mom and she thinks that financially, it is the right thing for us to do and she would try to come.  The only thing that scares me is asking my parents...when my FI asked for my dad's permission, my dad first thought that we were going to get married in the Keys (the trip he proposed on) and he basically said that we could get married as long as they were there and I don't think my parents will be able to afford to go soooo....I guess we will see!  My older sister is VERY supportive and thinks I should do it. ahhhh they weren't kidding when they said wedding planning is stressful! lol
  • jtolyjtoly member
    Good luck with your parents! Let's us know what they say!
    ~jenn~ Photobucket Anniversary
  • Thanks for all of the thoughts, definitely helping my anxiety on the idea!

    Clearly it'll be a planned elopement, and the only people I will ask to go will be immediate family and really close friends. Since are having the party back at home (and it will be more like a party than a traditional reception), I hope that people that are coming aren't expecting anything fancy afterwards.  The one all inclusive resort that we are looking at (Couples Swept Away in Negril, Jamaica) has a complimentary simple ceremony and a champagne toast after, and maybe we could share a dinner afterwards. I found trips on Kayak.com for 4 nights and airfar to Negril for $700 ish a person, but at a different resort (no offensive to the family, but I don't really want them staying at the same resort, and not to mention it's a couples only resort). I just hope that the couples resort will allow no couples on site for the ceremony! Any experience with this? I also considered helping to pay for some of my parent's trip so they could go.

    Hopefully we can make this work...still working myself to ask my parents' opinion!
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