Destination wedding - no alcohol or dancing

michelle848

My wedding is a destination wedding in Colorado, we are anticipating 75-100 guests.  My fiance is against drinking and doesn't want any alcohol at the reception.  We are also not really into dancing and so we would prefer to not have that at the reception.  My mom however is really upset about no alcohol or dancing and thinks we need to do more for our guests at the reception since they are travelling such a long way to come.  We are planning on having a photo booth, and hopefully people will mingle and have fun.  But should we be doing more?

Julyet06

Hello!  DH originally didn't want alcohol at our wedding b/c he didn't want any alcohol infused arguments or anything that would potentially ruin the evening.  This was before we decided on a DW, but I still insisted on the champagne toast and at least wine (I like to drink and so does my family).  That was our compromise...HOWEVER at the DW he was all for an open bar.  That said, do YOU want alcohol at the wedding?  Can you compromise and have just wine (or Sangria!). 

I do feel there should be dancing.  DH doesn't dance at all (I think he should start, he's a great dancer!) but he definitely wasn't opposed to having people dance at the reception.  In the 4 years we've been together, our wedding night was the most I've seen him dance ever!  Although I still did most of the dancing for the two of us, lol!  Anyhow, in my opinion, you should at least have some music playing and an area for any guests that want to dance.  I know I'd be the first one to boogie after dinner, even if I was the only one dancing all night!  We did have our first dance and he danced with his mother & aunt, too.

You know your guests, but I think for a group that big, something does have to give.  The photo booth will be lots of fun, but you shouldn't forgo dance music at the reception in my opinion.

Good Luck, and let us know what you decide!!

KateH2013

Are you hosting your reception at a place where guests can mingle inside and outside? If you are, and you'd like it and you think your guests would, you could set up some sort of game outside. My friend is getting married in August and plans on having some little yard games set up for people (obviously nothing strenuous or that could get people dirty). 

As for dancing, my FI and I aren't officially having any dancing either. There will be music - we're surprising our guests with a private luau and we'll have a ukelele player there for most of the time. You know your guests best so consider what would help them to have a good time! Good luck :-)

Lissa1213

If you are not providing alcohol due to religous beliefts that is fine, but I still think that your guests should be allowed to indulge if they wish to on their own dime.  I am not for cash bars but I think this would be an exception since it is a DW. 

[Deleted User]

I think it all depends on your guests. If everyone has the same mindset (besides your mom) as you two do -- then go for it! Having a game or something for folks to do won't be a bad idea especially if not everyone knows each other really well.

If you think your guests would like to have a drink or listen to music I would really encourage you to try to find some kind of compromise. Personally - for me - my guests would be pretty miffed if they showed up and there was no option to have a drink/wine/champagne and there was no music nor any other activity planned. 

rach2686

I agree that you should probably have some kind of music so people could dance if they wanted to. At our wedding the only people that really danced were myself and my three sisters. While everyone said that they had a great time just mingling and watching us dance like fools, I wish I would have provided more for them to do. I think my guests would have liked cards or board games, maybe you could do something like that if there isn't a huge amount of space.

Julyet06

I didn't have a lot of dance space, but my brother and I slid a table out of the way and made for plenty of room, lol!

cevans11

I think both dancing and alcohol are things that are personal choice. FWIW, I've been to fun weddings that didn't have one or the other, but the weddings I've been to that had neither were didn't last very long (just the reception part). People mingled and talked for about half an hour after dinner, and then left. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that, but I would be a little put out if I flew or drove a long way. 

If you really don't want dancing, maybe you could still consider hiring a string quartet or something for the reception. That way there would be some background music. For  some reason, that seems to help encourage people to mingle and stick around. 

Doingitoutside2013

I think some sort of entertainment or performer would be nice. Just think outside the box. Or what about mocktails?

kimmykupcakes

If the two of you decide together to have a dry wedding, there is nothing wrong with that. It really doesn't matter what your reason to do it is. Regardless, if its for religious, recovery, financial or any other reason, the choice is yours. I've been to dry weddings before and thought it was fine. You can still have fun pretty mocktails. You also don't need to have dancing at your wedding, if you don't want to. We didn't. Not that we don't like to, just that it didn't work for our wedding. We had a first dance and that was it. I've also been to plenty of weddings without dancing and they were also fine. Since you're guests are traveling for a DW, I would suggest doing some other kind of entertainment at the reception. Is there something else you and your FI like to do together? Could you hire some kind of entertainer or have some kind of lawn games? Just remember, this is yours and you FI's wedding, not anyone else's. What the two of you want for your wedding is most important. Don't let yourself be pushed into something you don't want.