Strangers at my shower??? What do you think?

sarahkuretz

Need some opinions ladies!I am constructing my shower list and had asked FI's mom and sister for addresses and emails for his family. His sister sent me her shower list from when she got married (so not all women apply to me) then FI's mom sends me a separate email saying "I have a few more to add to the list" ... 4 more, 3 of which I've never even heard of! Why is she suggesting I invite people who are strangers to me? I tried calling FI to see who these ladies are, but he's busy at work. Either way…even if he does know them, I don't and NEVER heard these names. I know they are not family. Would you feel obligated to invite people to your shower you don't know???

JSBB2010

I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them, but this happened to me too. It was 4 to 5 ladies that were friends of my Mom's and Sister's so....I just politely invited them and they brought gifts! Yay!!! Unless it really bother's you, I don't think it's a big deal. Now, if it got out of hand and ended up being 15-20 people then I think that's a bit much. Either way just do what will make you happy. It will work out. At mine, there was so much going on that I didn't even have the time to notice.

gabi829

I recently went to a couple's shower, where only about 20% of the people were there were actually friends of the couple.  Everybody else was friends of their parents.  Everybody still had a good time.

However, I would be hesitant to invite people to a shower if they weren't invited to the actual wedding or AHR.

numb3rMel

Uh no. I would not be comfortable inviting people I did not know to the shower. I would also not feel obligated. I would politely explain to my FMIL that I'm not quite familiar with their names or the ladies she is adding. That I'd prefer to keep the shower to minimum of close friends and family.

GL with that!

ToBeMrs.O2011

I would not be comfortable with it but my bigger question/issue would be  - are these guests being invited to the wedding or AHR?  Does your FI's mom expect that they will be? Are you OK with that?  If they aren't invited to the wedding/AHR, I would not invite them to the shower.

CraziStarr

If they are invited to your AHR and are important to FMIL, I say it's ok --- even though it's a bit awkward to meet them @ your shower.

Make sure to do your homework prior to meeting them (and hopefully they do theirs too!).

Beth0413

I'm in the same boat as well. FI's mom wants to invite a few ladies that i've never met. I'm fine with it though because it's not a huge number, they are also invited to the wedding but doubtful that they'll make the trip!

GL!

chichick00

I had my shower a few weeks ago and was in the same boat as you. There were some people that I was just meeting for the first time there. I was a little anxious about it, but they are important to my FMIL and they were invited to our AHR so I was fine with it. Everyone still had a great time!

angybanez

hmmm who's hosting your shower? If the host is inviting them to join the fun then that's no problem since you'd just show up to have fun and not worry about anything else. If it's only a few people and your family who wants to invite them let them know it's just for the shower since the AHR or wedding or both has limited seats then it could be OK too. If it really bothers you and you and your FI as incurring expenses then I would say something!

Orchid2011

I wouldn't feel obligated to invite them. However if FI knew them and he wanted them there then I wouldn't care. And like pps said, are they even invited to the wedding and AHR? If they're not then explain to the in~laws that you would prefer something small with the girls invited to the wedding only. I can't relate because I still got awhile to go but boy do I hope I don't have to go through this.
GL

chosen175

I'd have FI call his mom & find out who these people are.  If you invite them to the shower, they have to be invited to the wedding.  And if they can't pick you out of a lineup, there's no way I'd invite them to the wedding!

FWIW, I had about 12 people I didn't know at my baby shower.  It was very awkward when I was opening gifts and didn't know where to look when I went to say thank you.  I HATED it!

JillianKrystal

the more the merrier! i mean if your not paying for them and theyre gonna bring u gifts then enjoy the party...have a drink and open some gifts lol

troublejessy

In Response to <a href="http://forums.weddings.com/Sites/Weddings/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_strangers-shower-think?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:a4c95f34-4ca6-4c15-a332-ad10af11f3bePost:f280d07a-0b16-46d1-a8c7-c4b785e9bcee">Re: Strangers at my shower??? What do you think?</a>:
[QUOTE]If they are invited to your AHR and are important to FMIL, I say it's ok --- even though it's a bit awkward to meet them @ your shower. Make sure to do your homework prior to meeting them (and hopefully they do theirs too!).
Posted by CraziStarr[/QUOTE]

<div>I agree!</div>