Another WWYD.. *sigh*

FaithCaitlin

This time it's bridesmaid drama. I'll try to keep it short.

I have two good girl friends from high school. Friend A and Friend B both think that they're going to be my MOH. I'm too big of a baby to tell one of them that they aren't it. I told Friend A, the one who I'm closer to, that I wanted her to be my MOH but haven't told Friend B yet.. bad, I know.

Friend B and I have drifted apart recently and I feel that when we do get together all she does is complain about how terrible her life is (it's really not.. she's kind of dramatic, lol).

I could have both Friend A and B but then if I have two people I'd have to have FI's sister, and my two twin cousins; the only reason they aren't upset that they aren't included is because I've been telling them that we want only one attendant on each side and that the ceremony site is small (which is true). In addition, we want don't want a bridal party for THEIR sake-- they're already traveling to Disney World for Christmas and I don't want them to have to shell out more money for hair, dress, makeup, shoes, etc. Everyone understands this but would be upset if we had 2 people and not the rest of them.

Basically, I know I'm going to have to tell Friend B eventually that she isn't my MOH. How on Earth do I go about doing this? I know she'll be devestated and won't come to the wedding... and our friendship will probably be over.

Any advice?

saric83

: (  It's such a bummer to have these lovely situations.  But I don't think you have to actually tell her that she's not unless she's specifically asks.  Has she said anything about picking out dresses or anything like that?

kimmykupcakes

When she asks, you are going to just have to tell her.  It's her bad, for assuming she would be.  You are never in anyone's bridal party until they ask you to be.

FaithCaitlin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_another-wwyd-sigh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:c6fc0f31-200c-4469-b41a-f8b728fa2050Post:a130b8d0-290b-4f6c-bba5-ab608ea4acb6">Re: Another WWYD.. *sigh*</a>:
[QUOTE]: (  It's such a bummer to have these lovely situations.  But I don't think you have to actually tell her that she's not unless she's specifically asks.  Has she said anything about picking out dresses or anything like that?
Posted by saric83[/QUOTE]
We just met for lunch and she was asking about dresses, floral, the weekend plans, etc.

Of course I chickened out and didn't say anything.. I have plenty of time before I need to "decide" but I just couldn't bring myself to say anything... <img src="http://cdn.cl9.vanillaforums.com/downloaded/ver1.0/content/scripts/tinymce/plugins/emotions/images/smiley-yell.gif" border="0" alt="Yell" title="Yell" />

FaithCaitlin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_another-wwyd-sigh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding Theme BoardsForum:54Discussion:c6fc0f31-200c-4469-b41a-f8b728fa2050Post:504634f3-0304-4e44-8517-a3d296be5a3b">Re: Another WWYD.. *sigh*</a>:
[QUOTE]When she asks, you are going to just have to tell her.  It's her bad, for assuming she would be.  You are never in anyone's bridal party until they ask you to be.
Posted by kimmykupcakes[/QUOTE]
That's another issue.. when were were being gush-y in high school I told her she would be my MOH when that day came around. She apparently still thinks what I said applies.

jtoly

Ugh! I had a similar situation happen in my first wedding except before my friend was about to ask about dresses etc, I asked her to read at the church. Can you give her something else to do so she's still included? Or maybe you can have. ITh girls and just tell you family that your just going to have your two friends in the wedding and you hope their not disappointed. I also agree with Kimmy that she probably shouldn't have assumed she was in the wedding even if you did talk about it in high school because people change and like you said, drifted apart.

loramarie03

Worst part of picking a bridal party… the politics! But I think you just need to tell her the next time she brings up the wedding stuff, and just let her know that since your wedding is small you hope that she understands. 

murphanzo

I just checked out your bio and you have a lot of people listed as bridesmaid and groomsmen.  You said that your FI's sister and cousins know that you're only having 1 attendant each.  But your friend doesn't know this yet and sees everyone on your website.  Such a sticky situation and weddings can ruin friendships.  I hope it all works out for you!

FaithCaitlin

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-theme-boards_destination-weddings_another-wwyd-sigh?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Theme%20BoardsForum:54Discussion:c6fc0f31-200c-4469-b41a-f8b728fa2050Post:9e9c692b-c485-4737-a292-898df15b54b4">Re: Another WWYD.. *sigh*</a>:
[QUOTE]I just checked out your bio and you have a lot of people listed as bridesmaid and groomsmen.  You said that your FI's sister and cousins know that you're only having 1 attendant each.  But your friend doesn't know this yet and sees everyone on your website.  Such a sticky situation and weddings can ruin friendships.  I hope it all works out for you!
Posted by murphanzo[/QUOTE]
No one has the address for that except for TK girls! Thankfully. We have a wedding website for our guests but that address hasn't gone out either. So, I doubt anyone has seen it but thank you for reminding me that it's all still up there-- off to take it down now.