For some reason when I try reply to that post it says "operation aborted" so here is what I did.
We invited about 85 people to the wedding (mostly my dad's siblings and families) knowing that most would not come.
For the shower I had the same issue but it worked out that I invited all the women who were invited to the wedding to the shower.
The people who aren't coming to the wedding but are important to me were able to celebrate with me. Those that I was not that concerned about didn't come to the shower either and it was perfect!
As far as where to have it. We went back and forth and someone suggested to have it where *I* live. It seemed sort of selfish at the time but I PROMISE in the shuffle of trying to get everything done at the last minute, you will be glad not to have to 'waste' time traveling to your own shower.
The only drawback is that many people who have not seen our house before want to stop by before or after the shower which means we have to have the place clean!
Good luck, just remember, it is YOUR SHOWER!