Destination Weddings Discussions

An apology

I just wanted to apologize--I'm not trying to be a "downer"--I have some issues with what is proper etiquette because I have learned that even when you follow things EXACTLY as you are supposed to, there are people who COMPLAIN and it is starting to GET TO ME.

So, I'm sorry... I should try and keep these rants to myself.  I just REALLY want everyone to enjoy their day and their planning and get so IRKED at people who judge and criticize when we have the best of intentions... So, I get a little defensive of all of you... I've said this before but my FI has told me that I need to find my inner-b!t@h because I am "too nice" and I am finding that you are all like me--trying to be so nice to everyone.

Today we are having a "dinner" with some of my FI's siblings and they are all PISSED that we are having a DW.  My plan today is to sit and let them know how we are choosing the resort based on whether or not they are hoping to bring their kids... how we are trying to find spots that can have people come for a just a few days because of cost/kids...  but I KNOW that they are going to walk away and complain to eachother... complain to their friends... We've heard already what their opinions REALLY are.  So, I'm sorry if this comes out in my posts... Please forgive me.  I don't mean it rudely toward anyone.

Joanne

Re: An apology

  • You don't need to apologize.  You comment about Martha was a little silly. Drawing a direct line between her and her time in jail and wedding etiquette made no sense but it obivously came from a good place.  Brush it off, it's just the Knot.
    IVF#1 May 2011 15 Eggs Retrieved, 11 Fertilized using ICSI + HPT on 6/9/11 Beta #1 420 Beta #2 2167 US 7/1 TWINS!! Due 2/18/2012 Brooke and Nora born at 35.6 weeks Jan 20th 2012
  • You don't need to apologize. We've all been through the same situation as you, you'll just find that most of us have moved on into the "I-don't-care-what-you-think-we're-having-the-wedding-that-we-want" phase. And generally once you move into that phase, the complainers usually shut up and deal with it. You're still in the beginning phases of planning, which is the toughest time, especially when you have critical guests. Most of the noobs are in that phase too, which is probably why their situations push your buttons.
    Don't worry.....your family will either come around or they'll decide to not come, and you'll deal with it one way or another. You've got to stick to your guns right from the beginning though, otherwise they'll think they can change your mind and that will make you miserable.
  • Couldn't have said it better than Alison - Our complainers have definitely stopped - those that are coming are, and those who can't aren't - Even my one friend who was constantly reminding me how much money she was spending and how poor she was, I was finally able to say "you decided to spend it, and I refuse to feel guilty for your decision" last weekend. 

    Here's hoping you get to the next phase :) 
  • Personally, I thought what you said about Martha was a hilarious use of sarcasm. Also, I just never let anyone else's feelings about the destination part of our wedding get to me. If they don't want to come, they don't have to. AND, you'll probably have a better time if people don't come bitter.
  • Agree w/ PP. FWIW, I don't think you've been a downer, and I think it's sweet that you feel protective of your fellow DW knotties. :)
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
  • Thanks.  I was feeling bad... this has made it better.

    Update on the dinner with FI's siblings:  it was awful.  His parents tried to toast us and it was really sweet of them because they are both very excited--but his brother, sister and their spouses just lifted their glasses and said NOTHING.  Not congrats, or welcome to the family... and when we tried to engage them in conversation about the DW they wanted nothing to do with it (the convo, not just the DW).  Oh well.  Their loss.  And you're all right--We will have a better time without them there--they're MISERABLE.


    Thanks ladies.

    Jo

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