Pennsylvania-Philadelphia
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hubby to be is beyond upset..

he got word from his sis that she got us a gift. I'll preface this by saying that she asked him what we'd like, we said "money". many weeks ago she asked the same question, got the same answer. He finds out that she bought something and wants to bring it over to us prior to the wedding. To put it mildly, he flipped. He told her that he didn't understand how she could mix up what was plainly clear. He went on to say that he didn't understand how she didn't just put money in a card when we are not registered, have been together for years , already own a home and have owned a home for yrs. etc. etc.   --he was baffled. She picked up a gift of some sort and will be coming up to give it to us....I'm dreading her coming over now... 

Re: hubby to be is beyond upset..

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    edited December 2011
    I understand you and FI might be upset, but I think you are acting a little ungrateful.  You can't tell your guests, be they neighbors or sisters, what they HAVE to give you as a gift.  It's rude.  Honestly, be thankful for the fact that she is even getting you something- there are many guests who don't even do that.
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    edited December 2011
    thats what i kept telling him.it's her choice to give what she wants, her present, her choice. I understand that she plainly asked him what we'd like and she choose not follow suit, again...her choice. I think part of what's bothering him so much is that he gave her money for her wedding because that was what they wanted (many moons ago)..he'll have to just get over it....
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    angel33284angel33284 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Your future husband is a very ungrateful person. Especially since he doesn't even know what the gift is yet. He's gonna feel like a real jackhole if she comes over with season tickets to the Eagles or a PS3 and a keg of beer.

    Tell him to put on his big girl panties and suck it up. Mick Jagger said it best - "You can't always get what you want, but if you try sometime, you just mind, that you get what you need."
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    edited December 2011
    I agree.  Tell him the story of one of my bridesmaids (sorry to those that are hearing this for the 6753385th time), who asked me to front her the money for her bridesmaid's dress and never paid me back, had her mom and I pay for her daughter's flower girl dress and never paid us back, never gave me a gift for my shower, and never gave us a gift at the wedding.  (She gave us my shower gift as a joint gift at Christmas and played it off as "I finally got this to you!"  No, we did not get an actual Christmas gift to compensate.) I have never complained about this except on this message board.  Thank goodness his sister is thoughtful. 
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    edited December 2011
    I agree with PPs.  Be thankful you are even getting a gift.  There were a handful of people at my wedding who didn't give us anything and I'm just glad they were able to be there to celebrate with us.  My sister and DH's brother still have not given us anything.
    image
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    SJGirl0811SJGirl0811 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    IMO he's acting like a 3 year old.
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    edited December 2011
    I don't understand how he can get so upset over something so silly.
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    Amerbutt81Amerbutt81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I agree with B2B-- of all the things to get upset over, he chooses this?? 

    I'm actually going to side with the sister.  Personally, I like to give a more personal gift then just throwing money in a card.

    I actually (kinda) agree with Angel#.  He's going to feel like a real jackass if it turns out to be something awesome that you can use for the wedding-- esp since you are all sorts of DIYing it.

    Keep us updated.  I'm dying to know what it was.
    Mrs. JEGs
    est 7.17.10
    [IMG]http://i43.tinypic.com/2md4eb4.jpg[/IMG]
    Hunter Fillmore
    October 1, 2011

    Lizzie In Progress
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    edited December 2011
    he'll get over it eventually, he's allowed his groomzilla moment, I love him either way. and in the grand scheme of things, it's no biggie..... I've been to dozens of weddings in my lifetime and have always given cash. No less than $50 a head , but hey, everyone is different. Some of these stories of people giving nothing -- HOLY COW, that is pathetic.
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    angel33284angel33284 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_hubby-beyond-upset?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:2ba2342e-3b23-4fe5-b238-29c56fa6a9afPost:d206dbda-5c01-4a54-adf2-617f85a717a5">Re: hubby to be is beyond upset..</a>:
    [QUOTE]Some of these stories of people giving nothing -- HOLY COW, that is pathetic.[/QUOTE]<div>
    </div><div>I think most people know proper etiquette and would like to wish a couple well with a nice gift. When somebody doesn't you have to assume that they are having money issues and just don't have an extra $100-$300 to spare. To call them pathetic is just down right mean.</div><div>
    </div><div>And if they didn't give you a gift on purpose then maybe you should reflect back on your relationship with that person and see where it went wrong. Perhaps they shouldn't have been invited in the first place.

    </div>
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    edited December 2011
    Wow.  Your husband needs a reality-check.  But please post what the gift ended up being, I am curious to know now too.. Just remember, it's the THOUGHT that counts, not the monetary value.
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    missejaynemissejayne member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Maybe its something sentimental... like a quilt she made out of his old soccer jerseys or something. Something she saw that reminded her of them growing up.

    BUT since this was 4 days ago... what did she get you??
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