I'm not sure what to do..

ivedonethisb4

We had decided we were each going to have 3 people in our party. I am having my sister, my BFF since middle school, and his sister. He was going to have his dad, and 2 cousins. NOW..he's decided he really wants to have his friend too! He and this guy are REALLY close! Like Bromance close LOL. I love Scott, I don't mind having him in the wedding! But FI tells me if he has Scott then I MUST choose another girl as well. HIS RULE (it has to be even and 2 guys can't walk with one girl and they can't walk alone.) Problem is... I picked everyone I was close to to begin with. I just feel like you should be close to them to ask them to be a part of your wedding because of the expense and time involved. I have boocoodles of cousins but were not close. The only time I see them is at family gatherings like Christmas. I don't really have any friends that we go do stuff together. I work all the time and I'm not a social butterfly. I'm very shy. So I'm at a loss of what to do. I mean I have like 'work-friends' people I'm friends with at work but we don't do stuff outside of work..mostly due to schedules etc. Idk!!!!! AFTERTHOUGHT: And they have to order dresses by the first week in April which is SUPER SHORT NOTICE!

CFM102012

I would tell him that you don't have anyone else you're close enough to to ask.  You want it to be people you're close with not just an friendly acquaintance from school or work.  If you can work in something about them being people not props it might hit the point home. He can still ask his friend but you're not going ask someone else just to even up the sides. GL

achiduck

You really don't HAVE to have matching sides. No one is going to die or clutch their pearls. 

To be perfectly honest, adding another BM at this point will probably make her feel second class. Can your FI ask his friend to do a reading or be an usher so he's involved?

BrittneyRN

I'm having uneven sides.

Just have the guys already be at the altar and have the girls walk down alone.

music11

We have uneven sides (I have 3, he has 4) and it's not a problem.  Tell him not to stress.  He should add his friend, and you should keep your side as is.

ivedonethisb4

FI is really superstitious about this stuff and he will NOT give in like period. He's so stubborn! He feels like it will look stupid and there's some saying about your marriage will be uneven or some crap..

ivedonethisb4

I even had a work friend that I was talking to about it say the same thing she was like I'd do it because I'd hate for your marriage to be uneven (she used a diff word and I can't think of it at the moment) and like I told her its not that I don't love her but its just so much to ASK I would feel bad asking at this late a date and expecting so much so quickly (IE ordering a dress in the next 3 wks)

darlingc

Wow. If that's true, I'm totally screwed. We're having all women and no sides- does that mean our marriage will be empty? I've never heard of that saying and it seems like an incredibly silly reason to choose another person you're not that close with. What does an "uneven" marriage even mean?

If he's SO concerned about it, then he shouldn't add his friend. If you're not the one who's worried, then you shouldn't be changing your side if you don't want to.

Google "uneven wedding party" for numerous images (to see that it really looks FINE) and Q+As(to see that people who had uneven sides still have happy marriages!!).

ivedonethisb4

It means the person with the smaller side participates less in the marriage I guess...and yes that does freak me out!

PattySmith101

i have more close friends than fi... we are having 4 and 2!!! it was supposed to be 4 and 3 but his one friend is a pita and probally wont even be coming to the wedding! he works at walmart and is telling us they wont let him take the time off.i have no problem with walmart but it is such a big company/store i doubt he is not replacable for a few shifts < he works in stock i think> ! i really dont think 8 months notice and they tell you "no you can not have off for your friends wedding"  he says he already asked for the time off and was told no but than in the same conversation he asked when was our wedding ! ... if you didnt know the date how did you already ask off??? HELLO!!!

DeannaCW

We're doing uneven as well, probably.  FI asked 6 and I asked 4, for our original date (May) one of mine and at least one of his (possibly more, all coming from England) wouldn't be able to come.  We actually had worked out how everything would happen based on numbers: if only three of his could come, sides would be even.  If four, we'd make the seating of the parents part of the processional and one would escort my mom down (maybe you could do this? since coming into the room seems to be what he's uncomfortable with?).  If five or six, we'd make seating the grandparents part and the last one or two would escort my grandma and great-aunt/adopted grandma down.

I'm googling to try to find this superstition, and apparently it's nowhere to be found.  Is this an actual thing, or did someone just make it up and tell him?

RockstarWifey0912

If HE wants to be superstitious, and add someone last minute, HE needs to figure out his side then and ask someone else to step down or give his Bro-manced buddy a different job.