Handfasting?

lenergyrlah

What is a handfasting?  Is it "normal" to include it in a nonreligious ceremony?

My officiant sent me a few sample ceremonies so I could get ideas from them.  All 3 of them had a handfasting included.  It looks like some sort of prayer / poem.  I've been to several weddings and don't remember this being done before, and honestly I don't even know what a handfasting is.  It just seems weird to me.

But I'm worried that if I take it out the ceremony will be too short, considering that it was about 1/3 of the ceremony text (not including music/readings).  The wedding will be outdoors so we won't have any instruments, so basically it will be processional, 3 minutes of officiant speech, maybe a reading, vows, and recessional.  I don't want a 5-minute wedding ceremony!

aimee58

I've never seen it done and hadn't heard of it until I was wedding planning.

I think it's something done in place of a unity candle at non-religious ceremonies. In the pics I've seen and articles I've read, I think it's just a ribbon tied around your wrists and hands symbolizing you two as a unit together. I'm not sure though and could be majorly mistaken!

I think that if it won't mean somehting for you and FI, don't do it. You can always fill that time with other music selections, or another type of unity ritual (sand, candles, etc).

lenergyrlah

Yeah I'm still considering doing a unity candle.  I don't want to do sand because it will be outdoors and I'm worried that the wind will mess it up.

We probably won't have any live music because the only musicians I know are pianists, and it will be on a deck so I don't want to bring a piano or any electronics in case of rain.  None of my close friends are singers, and I don't want to ask someone to sing, play the violin, etc. unless they're close friends.  Our DJ will play the prelude, processional and recessional music.

CFM102012

My brother and SIL did that.  They're not religious but incorporated  elements from several beliefs.  It was very pretty and very nice.

jnpfautz

My FI and I are having a nonreligious ceremony and I really want to do the handfasting ceremony.  My officiant was talking to me about it and she has some sweet ceremonies for it.  I love the idea of it!

[Deleted User]

I'm doing the "loving cup" or wine ceremony because, we love wine!

nataliet02

I just finished reading a book that had the couple handfast. In truth it is an old Scottish tradition that a couple gets married for a year and a day. After that they can decide if they want to stay together or not. In today's time it is just nice to see a commitment of two people by "binding" there hands together.

Binding Ties

In a nutshell, its an ancient celtic tradition, dating as far back as the 13th century where two peoples hands or wrists are tied together to symbolise their intention to be bound together as a couple. Essentially it started out as a betrothal ceremony where two people promised that they 'would be' together at a fixed point in the future. Over the generations this morphed into the idea of a year-and-a-day trial marriage, and even more recently its something that many couples choose to incorporate into either a legal or non-legal ceremony, depending on their personal preferences and where the ceremony happens (if you are married by a Humanist officiant in a country or state which recognises the legality of the ceremony there's no additional civil service required).  It was featured in Braveheart, and more recently as part of the royal wedding ceremony between William and Kate.
I had a handfasting as part of my wedding two years ago, and I now make and sell handfasting cords, so if theres anyone out there who wants to pick my brains about the ceremony, the cords or anything else, please feel free - there's no obligation to buy one of my cords :-)