Would it be horrible to just run off to Vegas?!?!?

mrshall1027

Going over our wedding budget last night has me so stressed and FI and I even found ourselves fighting over it.  Luckily, we both calmed down and realized that we didn't want to be stressed and or fight over our wedding.

I just hate that I've been having this overwhelming feeling since day one, that we are wasting all of this money on one day.  Although I have dreams of having an amazing and beautiful wedding, I'm still a practical person and when I see that we are going to spend $25k+ on this damn wedding, I start to think that I am the craziest person in the world!   That price doesn't even include our rings and honeymoon.

Right now, I feel like running off to Vegas or Cancun and marrying my best friend, because afterall, that's what's really important.  FI just hates to loose all the deposits and additional payments that we've paid, and I totally agree.  But we still have another $18k to pay off (which we have, just haven't applied it towards anything) and $13k of it is the food and alcohol.  We can't do anything about that because we have to go through our venue.

So, my thoughts are:

Option 1 - we either elope in August or September and then throw a party in our backyard where we could still use the services of the vendors that we've hired but loose the $3k we've paid to the venue.

or

Option 2 -  we still get married on our set wedding date, but do it at my parent's house or a family members home.  Still loose our $3k to the venue, but we are still able to have a wedding.  We can get food for around $1500 if we do BBQ (totally fine with) and another $1k for alcohol.

Am I just being crazy?  Do I need to suck it up and foot the bill or am I being somewhat rational?  Please tell me because at this point, I have no idea!!

aimee58

I think about the same thing from time to time!! Our wedding isn't even that much, only about $12K, but it's overwhelming and crazy.

FI and I can't do a DW or elope unless it's really just us, we both have parents who can't travel. And we don't have anywhere to house a backyard wedding. But I would if I could.

I say do whatever makes you happy!! Remember, it's your day and it's about marrying your love. If a backyard affair or eloping will make you happy...go for it! Just make sure not to act on frustration or quick emotion.

achiduck

I love the wedding I'm planning but yes, it's a lot of money that could be used elsewhere. Unfortuantely FI is the oldest cousin on both his mom and dad's sides of the family and this is the first wedding in more than 20 years and they would kill us if we eloped.

I say you should do what makes you and your FI happy. If that means losing the $3k then so be it.

LDubHawksFan

I hear you.  We are probably going to be at $25K for our wedding which is just ridiculous to us.  A lot of it is the fact that we live in a really expensive location, but it's so crazy!  I have been stressing on ways to save, but it really boils down to the cost of the food!  Our venue is just more expensive than we would like to spend.  My guess is we may try to just do a cheaper entree option to save $.  We are still going through with it because we can without digging a financial hole, but it is really stressful.  Do whatever you feel comfortable doing.  If you would rather a backyard bbq, you should do it!  But if you will look back and regret not having the big wedding, you should do it, but try to find ways to cut corners to make yourself feel more comfortable with the budget.    Good luck!

minionlover

I don't think that it would be horrible at all.  I would love to do it.  I wanted to get married last September in Jamaica but we decided against it.  As long as you are happy with your decision then you'll be fine.

ETA - Don't try to get legally married in Mexico.  It's really hard.  Go for Jamaica or the Bahamas. 

BrittneyRN

I love idea if a backyard wedding! I think they can be beautiful and classy. Will you regret not having the huge wedding someday? FI and I are also paying for our wedding ourselves and spending 20+ thousand...I'd love to use that on arouse, BUT we know we would regret it if we didn't have a huge we ding with all of our family and friends.

ivedonethisb4

WoW! This may sound nuts but we're stressed over a 5K wedding and here you guys are talking 25K! I can't even IMAGINE. We'd be 40 before we could afford something like that and probably not then! Its causing a strain for us though because its so hard to do just the necessary. Like FI think solo cups and picnic plates are okay...because they're so cheap and I tried to explain that if we were doing a backyard get together sure but not a wedding with 200 plus people.

MicMikeM

I look at it as saving thousands rather than losing $3000 if your sanity is important.  It's my 2nd wedding and FI first, so I had to sit his family down for LONG talks about money and what kind of wedding they envisioned.  Luckily for us, they were fine with a Las Vegas wedding as long as we could have a celebration party afterwards back home in Colorado that the family could actually attend since most of his family won't be able to travel further than CO.

Weddings in Colorado are just too expensive and FI family really didn't want a justice of the peace quickie.

So, while it's still expensive and unless you count the wedding night in Las Vegas as a honeymoon, we're very happy.  I think including rings, dress, dinner after the chapel, chapel and flowers, and the celebration barbecue at home in FIL's backyard, we'll still stay under $6k.

Do what will make you guys happy above everything.  But definitely let some time pass and sleep on it, and talk about it before making hasty decisions.

ReyesToy

I like Option 2! Backyard weddings can be really pretty and special. In the end, it doesn't matter where it is, people are going to be looking at you and your FI and then they just want to have dinner and drinks with people they know. So if you'd prefer to do that then I say DO IT! you'll be so much more comfortable, at ease, and in-love...instead of stressed out.

We're still doing a 20k wedding though :P

Bryan&AmyC

I definitely think the same thing from time to time! Especially now that we're in the home stretch! I love the idea of a backyard wedding. Since our families aren't from where we live now though that wasn't really an option. Instead we've added our own rustic touches to give our wedding that vibe we were looking for. Do whatever makes you and FI happy - in the end, that's all that matters

shoebie

Is it worth loosing the $$ now to save the $$ later? Whatever your decision make sure you dont regret it later , I plan on only getting married once so I want to make sure its everything I want.

mrshall1027

Thanks ladies.  This is something that has bothered me since we started planning and adding up all the costs to have the type of wedding that we really want.  I am a very logical person, but at the same time, I'm still a girl with the dream of a big fancy wedding.  We are going to give it a couple of weeks and see how we feel about it then.  I always have a major freak out moment when we look over the budget and since we are so close, it's becoming more of a reality.

ashhernandez

I'm so glad to know that I'm not the only one feeling that way!!! We have more than doubled our original budget and I freak EVERY time I think about it. I'm pretty sure jail continue to freak out for the next 191 days. I just hope that everything turns out beautiful and it's so worth it.

abricadabra

Do you have any idea how many times this has crossed my mind?

I've been MIA from TK the past couple weeks because of it! Our budget is 12K (15K with honeymoon), and we are SUPER stressed also, as we are paying for all of it and it's likely going to wipe much of our savings. I'm just trying to stay positive, since we have quite a few financial gains to make before all the bills need to be paid - in the meantime, I'm trying to just enjoy putting it all together, without worrying about how broke we might be after! Probably bad, but it's been helping. It's our special day, and it'll only happen once, so we are MAKING IT HAPPEN!