Well that meeting went swimmingly...

mbuckley85

NOT!

As predicted here, (http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_meeting-today), there will be no rabbi at our wedding.

He doesn't feel like he has a place in our ceremony since we are being married by a deacon and our ceremony follows the lines of a christian ceremony.

Frankly, I'm not that upset by it.  FMIL is going to LOSE IT though...

fjw2012

I'd give her the rabi"s number and tell her to take it up with him. There's nothing more you or your fiance can do.

mbuckley85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_well-that-meeting-went-swimmingly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:ad9d908f-8368-40ae-b160-b1b58c1ee581Post:f99acbd2-a6cc-4ffc-a6dd-3ae39e5c5096">Re: Well that meeting went swimmingly...</a>:
[QUOTE]I'd give her the rabi"s number and tell her to take it up with him. There's nothing more you or your fiance can do.
Posted by fjw2012[/QUOTE]

<div>I'm sure he'll be hearing from her.  FI couldn't have been happier when he said that FMIL could call him.  It takes a lot of pressure off FI.</div>

brainybrunette

I would have FMIL deal with the Rabbi.  There's nothing that you or your FI can do about it, so have her take out her frustrations on the rabbi!

goatlady12

UGH!  I just don't understand why the religion you get married under is anyone's business. FMIL covered her mouth when I told her our ordained friend was marrying us.  Then begged me to get the marriage blessed.  It was very irritating to me because who marries us has nothing to do with ANYONE else! 

brainybrunette

Yeah, my grandmother was not happy that FI and I are not getting married in the Catholic church, a family friend got ordained online and is marrying us.  FI and I were raised Catholic, but we are no longer practicing Catholics (or practicing any religion), neither of us wanted a church wedding in any way, shape, or form.  She went so far to talk to her priest to see if she could get him to come bless the wedding at our venue (not that this would be recognized by the Catholic church AT ALL!).  Finally, my mother had to tell her to back off and that this was not her wedding or her decision to make.

BMBrinson

This is combo post about both your threads:

I am not Jewish, FI is. We are have a Jewish ceremony. We where lucky enough to have found a Rabbi that will officiate at our wedding. Most Rabbi's will not, especially if you are having another religon officiate. We have not decided what to raise our children but it is important that Judism be a part of their lives. I think it is hard for some families when they feel their traditions and beliefs will not be passed on. FI parents would prefer that the children be raised Jewish but will respect our choice.  Hopefully she can discuss her wishes with the Rabbi and understand his reasons not to be a part of the ceremony. 

mbuckley85

I agree, its totally between the rabbi and FMIL now.  FI and I are done discussing it.  

I have gotten so much crap on the religion issues and its none of their business!  FI and I made our decision before we were even engaged (He told me up front that he would rather raise his children Catholic than risk losing me, not to say that I would have left, but I was up front from the very beginning about how religion is important to me).  When his sister heard from FI that we were heading toward engagement, she said to him in a snotty voice "Well, just don't get married in a church!".  That sister is married to a Christian and that was her attitude!  The other sister made comments about how we should be married by a justice of the peace at our ceremony and have a private ceremony with the deacon so that no one would know...

I find both of these comments VERY offensive, and they are from grown women (14 and 17 years older than FI!). 

The way FI and I see it, we have the same moral basis, and the same beginnings in our religion.  We both believe in God, and we believe in the same God.  

CarolineandDean

Religion is definitley a touchy subject for many.  Do what's best for you and your FI, and eventually something else will come up that's more important for them to talk about.

mbuckley85

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/wedding-club-boards_october-2012-weddings_well-that-meeting-went-swimmingly?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Wedding%20Club%20BoardsForum:56b9bcef-1e34-456e-81f5-cfaa107456b2Discussion:ad9d908f-8368-40ae-b160-b1b58c1ee581Post:c34ace1b-c13d-4684-be52-4c47d1216d56">Re: Well that meeting went swimmingly...</a>:
[QUOTE]Religion is definitley a touchy subject for many.  Do what's best for you and your FI, and eventually something else will come up that's more important for them to talk about.
Posted by CarolineandDean[/QUOTE]

<div>It definitely could be worse (since we live close to her).  We only see her about once every 1-2 weeks.  It just seems like EVERY time we see here there is some sort of controversy.  I'm just very happy it is off FI and I now.  There is nothing more we can do.</div>