Invites to one roomie

LDubHawksFan

Hey all, I would like your opinion.  We are inviting some of our good friends and one of them lives with a guy that we are acquainted with, but not really close.  He does hang out with some of the people in the group of friends though.  We want to invite our really good friend A, but feel awkward about sending the invite to their house, in which aquaintance B will obviously see it.  I don't want to just open up our list because we are already on our high number, plus for me it would be more odd for us to invite him since we never hang out.  What do you guys think? 

pockysquirrel

Just to clarify, the acquaintance is the friend's roommate, and not someone she is in a relationship with? And if your friend is single, do you plan to invite her 'and guest'? Personally, I'd save myself the trouble of angsting over it and invite them both. But that's just me.

LDubHawksFan

They are both men and just roommates/friends.  We were going to give our friend a +1

pzavecz

I wouldn't invite friend b just because he lives in the same house as a. You're not close with him so I don't see why he should expect an invite anyway. If i were friend b and I got that invite, I would feel like you only invited me because you invited my roommate. Invite who you want. Don't feel obligated to invite this person. That's just my opinion.

lehc723

I have friends who were in this situation last year-- three guys live together, and the couple is good friends with two, but not the third. They invited the two they're close with. One of those two guys got to bring his girlfriend (I think she may have been invited specifically, and not a +1, as they've been together a while, but I guess I can't say I know that for sure) while the other guy did not. The third roommate who did not get invited did not seem offended or upset in any way, and seemed like he understood. I don't know if it would have been different if the single roommate had been given a +1, though.

So! Long story short, I think it should be fine, but if you're friendly enough with the roommate that you do think it might be weird, then I might suggest inviting him. If numbers are a problem, does the guest you plan on inviting really need to have a +1?

brainybrunette

Yeah, I agree with Pokey.  I'd probably just invite the acquaintance.  He may not be expecting an invite, but he lives with your good friend and is friends with other people invited to the wedding.  If I were him, and did not receive an invite when everyone else in my social circle did, I'd feel singled out and I'd probably be upset.

However, it's your wedding and you know your guest list limits (and the people involved) best.  If you decide not to invite him, I'd make it clear on the invitation that only good friend is invited with guest.

ktelizabeth86

I don't think you need to invite him. We have this same situation except for with twin brothers. We went to high school with both of them and like them both, but FI is only really friends/hangs out with one of them. I don't think the other brother would expect an invitation. Why hang out with someone on your wedding night that you don't hang out with any other night (unless they are someone's SO)? That's our take on it anyway.  

jenny&will2014

 i am having the same problem. I have known friend A for 25+ years and friend B i have known for 15 years. Friend B and I used to be friends w/ benefits but still talk when we see each other. I dont think i should invite friend B given our previous state. opinions? (sorry if TMI) I don't think you should invite friend B if you guys aren't friends-he should understand

LDubHawksFan

Jenny, I feel like your situation is much more complicated.  For me, it would depend on if your FI is comfortable with B.  Do you all hang out or is B just an old friend of yours.  If he is ok with it, then I would invite him if you want to.

Thanks for all of your opinions!  I think we will not invite the roommate.  We really haven't known him long (definitely no where near 15 yrs!), and I really don't think he would be upset by it.  Thanks again!  On to the next task......