Let me start with a little back story. I worked with this girl and we were pretty close until I left the department and eventually she left the company. We maybe saw each other once every couple of months (usually when she needed me to watch her girls or FI to help her move). When I got engaged I was debating if I should even ask her to be a BM for several different reasons but mainly I know she's not good with money and well being a BM can be expensive. She's the type that as soon as she gets a CC it's maxed out. Turns out she didn't give me the option to ask, she just decided she was a BM. I even think at first she thought she was the MOH. I couldn't figure out a way to tell her I want your daughters to be in my wedding but not you so I let the BM thing go (I did make it clear she was not the MOH). Knowing her buying 3 dresses plus other things that go with being in a wedding would be a lot my mom offered to pay for her daughter's dresses.
Dresses- I sent an e-mail to the girls with the styles I thought they would like and color. The dresses we picked were in the $150-160 price range, which is the cheapest I've found in a long dress. She replies back with the dress and color she would like and then follows up asking when she needed to order so she could save up because money is tight right now. She decided a year ago she was a BM and she didn't think until now she'd have to buy a dress for this? But she also just posted a pic on FB of the new $200 camera she just bought.
Several months ago she was asking if there was anything she could help with so I had her get in contact with my MOH. I'm not planning my own shower and haven't gotten to any big wedding projects so I didn't really have anything for her to do. We have finally coordinated with my FMIL and picked a date for my shower her so my MOH e-mailed her about helping set up. She replied saying her birthday was the day before and she "planned on drinking A LOT that night" so as long as it wasn't too early she guessed she could help.
This all is exactly why I didn't want to ask her to be in the wedding. I didn't want to have to deal with it and at this point I wish she'd pull herself and the girls out of the wedding so I don't have to deal with it anymore. I realize that the girls have other things going on in their life and my wedding isn't their main priority. My issue is she decided she was in the wedding and it's almost as if she expected me or my mom to pay for her stuff because she can't manage her money. I'm even having a hard time allowing my mom to buy the girl's dresses now. So am I over reacting or is it reasonable to be annoyed by her actions?