Wedding Events vs. Invited/Non-Invited guests

fchan1

Hi ladies, just wanted to get various opinions on this issue. It's not a huge huge deal, I've just been mulling over it for a while, so just curious to see what everyone else thought.What's the proper etiquette, per se, of inviting people who are NOT invited to the wedding or reception to wedding showers, engagement parties, and bachelor/bachelorette parties? Is this a do or a don't? Or (as most things are) is this dependent on the people, personalities, circle of friends, etc.Personally, I'd be very cautious of inviting people directly to these events who are not invited to our wedding, but I have no problem with other friends who were not invited tagging along with the direct invites. Does this make sense? LOLJust wanted to get your opinions. Thanks!

OFF

Etiquette says that if they are not invited to the wedding they should not be invited to pre-wedding events such as showers etc. Not that you mean it this way but it's generally considered rude. But you know your circle of friends best and if they wouldnt be hurt by coming to the pre wedding stuff but not getting to go to the wedding then do whatfeels right for you and your group.

heyxu

Etiquette says you don't.

m_masino

It's a don't. Especially for the wedding shower/engagement party because they definitely shouldn't be expected to get you a gift if they're not invited. 

fchan1

Thanks ladies - I just wanted to put it out there cuz the FI spent a craaaaapload of money on his friend's destination bachelor party and almost went to another "local" bachelor party (for the same guy) this past weekend until I more or less kirked out. And no, we are not invited to the wedding...so it was enough for me that he went to Vegas (over my birthday weekend no less), I was not about to have him blow more money on this friend who's wedding we're not even invited to when we have our own stuff to worry about. I talked to my girls, and even a few of my guys, when this was all going on to see if I was going crazy or not and they're all in agreement that it's a don't.

PharmJen

Definitely don't invite people to a shower or engagement party if you have no intention of inviting them to the wedding.  AS pp said, it comes across as rude. I will say though that boys are very different than girls when it comes to b-parties.  I would never invite anyone not invited to my wedding, but guys are very opportunistic about bachelor parties.  Sometimes they are just looking for a night out and could care less if they are invited to the wedding.  And actually I think they PREFER that they aren't invited to the wedding sometimes!