The most awkward wedding ever.

RecoveringActor

Okay, paprika... this is the story.  It's really long, so it gets its own post.  i'm sorry for the length.. but it's pretty hilarious.  And I promise you that nothing is exaggerated.

Shortly after Gzilla and I got together, he was the best man in his best friends wedding.  The wedding was about 4 hours away in North Jabip, PA.  We had to go so far north in PA that it was easier to go into New York than it was to stay in PA.

We (Gzilla, myself, another groomsmen P and his girlfriend--now wife--K) got there just in time for the rehearsal.  Grooms brother is no where to be found.  K and I are sitting in the back of the church while the bridal party is talking to Father Michael From India.  That's how it introduced himself, so now we use that as his full name, as though 'Fom India" is his last name.  This was Father Michael From India's first American and I'm pretty sure first Catholic wedding.

Groom--not Catholic.  Not even a little Catholic.  Refused to kneel, instead said that he was more comfortable standing the entire time.  Father Michael From India thought that he had a knee injury that prevented him from kneeling.  The Pastor overhears this... comes running from the back screaming at the groom:

Priest: You're going to kneel... it's disrespectful.  You're going to kneel and you're going to like it
Groom: No, I'm not. 
Priest: Then you're not allowed to get married
Groom: Since I did my pre Cana with a bishop... yes I am getting married, and no I won't be kneeling.  I'm not going to kneel before you, your God, or any other god.
Priest: THEN YOU'RE GOING TO HELL. YOU'RE ALL GOING TO HELL.  EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOU IS GOING TO HELL.

This was the REHEARSAL.  It only got better from there.

At the ceremony, Frank--the husband of the MOH--had a toolbelt of cameras.  And that's exactly what it sounds like.  Tool belt... camera phone, digital camera, disposable cameras, a regular camera, and a video camera.  While the bride was walking down the aisle... Frank thought it would be a good idea to stand IN FRONT OF THE GROOM so that he could get the bride coming down the aisle.

At the reception, I drew the short straw and had to sit next to Frank.  Frank always brought three drinks back from the bar--all for himself.  And when they served us dinner (herb roasted chicken, roasted potato, and some vegetable), Frank picks up the chicken... and just bites into it.  Then he looks at me, completely appalled and I'm sure that I had a WTF face on, and he says "Whenever I see chicken... I just gotta eat it with my hands.  I don't know how to do it any other way."

LadyJ10

Can you just retitle this "An argument against head tables"?!?!

Frank sounds like such a catch!

[Deleted User]

I just GOTTA have it!  

That was great thanks.

paprika28

Oh. My. God.

The only thing that could make this better would be pictures of Frank, his tool belt and chicken.

On second thought, I have a pretty vivid imagination, and it's taking care of it.

No head table. Check.

a.lemma4

HAHA! "You're all going to hell!" Best weddng rehearsal ever!

ysl1983

BEST wedding story EVER! LOL

FutureMrsTCT

I'm not sure what started this, I'm sure I'll find out after reading the poll about peeves, but OMG. I'm trying to not literally fall out of my chair laughing.

"You're all going to hell". And just when I didn't think it could get better than that - Frank. My cheeks hurt from laughing.

RecoveringActor

I also forgot to mention that the groom referred to the MOH as "it" for the entire evening... and at one point, I thought K and I were going to have to go out for pizza so the groom would have something to eat. 

But it does make for a great story.  Across from the hotel we stayed at (the only hotel in the town) there was a Dollar Store.  Next to the Dollar Store?  The Two Dollar Store.  True story.

mana8503

Ah haha I needed that!

paprika28

I need to go to the Two Dollar Store. For reals. Is that for like, the higher class generic brands?

LaRositaMonita

I think this actually wins over the wedding I went to recently with DJ B-Flat (seriously, that was his name) who played both Justin Beiber and the Kenny G version of My Heart Will Go On.  And who flipped his vest inside out at the reception to reveal that it was sparkly with musical notes on it.

[Deleted User]

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_awkward-wedding-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:42ee598a-de68-47cb-bf11-4b6cb570fc27Post:7c77cfc5-eb79-4330-8a74-223f5a903870">Re: The most awkward wedding ever.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this actually wins over the wedding I went to recently with DJ B-Flat (seriously, that was his name) who played both Justin Beiber and the Kenny G version of My Heart Will Go On.  And who flipped his vest inside out at the reception to reveal that it was sparkly with musical notes on it.
Posted by LaRositaMonita[/QUOTE]

<div>That is something that needs to be in my contract or on the website or something.  I need to know that is going to happen so I don't hire you.  </div><div>
</div><div>Does the couple like that kind of stuff?  </div>

LaRositaMonita

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_awkward-wedding-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:42ee598a-de68-47cb-bf11-4b6cb570fc27Post:53ade1ff-b2ce-402b-883a-31862609556d">Re: The most awkward wedding ever.</a>:
[QUOTE]In Response to Re: The most awkward wedding ever. : That is something that needs to be in my contract or on the website or something.  I need to know that is going to happen so I don't hire you.   Does the couple like that kind of stuff?  
Posted by NCV2[/QUOTE]

They fully admitted at the end of the wedding that they should have taken more time picking out a DJ ;) I promise this person has no affiliation whatsoever with No Macarena!!

angel33284

If the groom won't kneel to show respect for the bride's religion I'd say the inevitable is going to happen. Let us know when the divorce is final.

nicole8586

OMG that is hysterical!

I'm not going to lie I LOLed the most at the two dollar store!

Bean32

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_awkward-wedding-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:42ee598a-de68-47cb-bf11-4b6cb570fc27Post:7c77cfc5-eb79-4330-8a74-223f5a903870">Re: The most awkward wedding ever.</a>:
[QUOTE]I think this actually wins over the wedding I went to recently with DJ B-Flat (seriously, that was his name) who played both Justin Beiber and the Kenny G version of My Heart Will Go On.  And who flipped his vest inside out at the reception to reveal that it was sparkly with musical notes on it.
Posted by LaRositaMonita[/QUOTE]

I'm pretty sure this guy did a friend's post-destination wedding party. I asked for his card so I could specifically not book him!

LaRositaMonita

Bean, that is hilarious.

Angel, while your antics normally amuse me at this point, I will politely beg to differ.  As a Jew who has attended Catholic insititutions of education for 8 years, I am 100% certain that for a non-Catholic to kneel at a Catholic church service is actually incredibly disrespectful.  I don't kneel at a Catholic mass, nor would I cross myself, and I am sure that my Catholic friends who clearly realize I know better would be offended if I did.  The fact this priest did what he did is both hilarious and seriously distrubing.  Did he want the groom to take Communion too, or something?  'Cause that would have been the most atrocious riot of all.

angel33284

In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_awkward-wedding-ever?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:42ee598a-de68-47cb-bf11-4b6cb570fc27Post:6a01a2bc-5d71-42d8-a500-0406b467c5e0">Re: The most awkward wedding ever.</a>:
[QUOTE]Bean, that is hilarious. Angel, while your antics normally amuse me at this point, I will politely beg to differ.  As a Jew who has attended Catholic insititutions of education for 8 years, I am 100% certain that for a non-Catholic to kneel at a Catholic church service is actually incredibly disrespectful.  I don't kneel at a Catholic mass, nor would I cross myself, and I am sure that my Catholic friends who clearly realize I know better would be offended if I did.  The fact this priest did what he did is both hilarious and seriously distrubing.  Did he want the groom to take Communion too, or something?  'Cause that would have been the most atrocious riot of all.
Posted by LaRositaMonita[/QUOTE]<div>
</div><div>I am not catholic. When I got to church with my husband and his family I do not cross myself up, I do not kneel, nor do I respond to the usual catholic responses. But we got married in a catholic church and I did kneel out of respect to my husbands beliefs. I didn't kneel at the gift to the blessed mother. But I accepted the priests blessings because I don't to be disrespectful to my husbands beliefs.</div><div>
</div><div>We have gone to jewish weddings and he has worn the little skull cao out of the respect to the jewish faith.</div><div>
</div><div>It's not about showing respect to the savior, or the God; it's about having respect for what others believe in, just as they have respect for what you believe in.

</div>

carli1216

Love it.  I'm glad we're getting married by a judge.