Advice!!!

lissap05

Ok, so my MOH is my future sister in law.  I have never had a sister so I thought it would be a bonding experience for her to be my MOH. We were getting along fine until she starting dating someone that no one approves of.  She has sort of separated herself from EVERYONE.  She has been acting super rude to me and I am having a hard time getting her to respond to anything I ask her.  She also has a very jealous nature and I think she is jealous that her brother is getting more attention (she is a good bit younger than us).

My best friend has been doing everything for me.  She has been so supportive and I know it is silly but I really wish she got the title.  However, I know that it would really mess up my relationship with his family to ask the MOH to step down.  She is just really putting a damper on everything. 

What would you girls do in this situation?

mjlchambless

My first question is what are you asking them to do that you need your MOH/FSIL's help on? 

The only duties of the BM and MOH are to buy the dress and show up that day, that's really it.

nthomas983

Don't fire your FSIL.  It will only hurt your relationship and may even hurt your relationships with your other FILs.  Remember that your bridal party's only "job" is to stand with you on the day of. If she doesn't want to be part of the planning process, she doesn't have to be.

I know it's frustrating (my MOH is currently MIA as well, actually), but try to take a step back and not take it personally. Be sure to let your best friend know you appreciate how much she's helping, and perhaps give her a nice gift to thank her.

lissap05

That probably came out wrong.  I am not asking anything of them.  We were just having some issues with ordering the dresses.  I was just asking them to go and size and order them by a certain date and was getting no response.  It is just frustrating.  Other than that, I guess I just want her to seem happy to be apart of the day.  I guess maybe some people show it differently:)

jinxed8605

You could always promote your BFF and ask her to also be a MOH, but you really can't demote (or remove) bridal party members.

fiddle14

Do NOT ask her to step down.  All she really has to do is buy a dress and show up at the wedding.  And I wouldn't expect anything from her beyond that.  It's great that you have another friend/BM who is helping you so much!  :-)

As for this guy she's dating, sounds like she's in some kind of rebellious phase and will probably grow out of it.  Leave her alone for now.  You'll get through your wedding and eventually she'll probably come around and start enjoying the fact that she has a new SIL.  It'll be okay.  :-)

bbyckes

Just have two co-MOHs.  Problem solved. 

fiddle14

Just saw your follow-up post:

[QUOTE]That probably came out wrong.  I am not asking anything of them.  We were just having some issues with ordering the dresses.  I was just asking them to go and size and order them by a certain date and was getting no response.
Posted by lissap05[/QUOTE]

I still wouldn't stress about it.  Leave her a "reminder" message telling her that she needs to get sized and  place her order by X date.  Then leave the ball in her court.  If she doesn't order the dress, then she's not in the wedding.   However, you might want to give your FMIL (or maybe have your FI to do so) a heads up on the order date.  She might have a little more influence.

[QUOTE]Other than that, I guess I just want her to seem happy to be apart of the day.  [/QUOTE]

[shrug]  Hopefully she'll come around and have some fun.  But if not, it's her loss!  Good luck!  :-)

Almost MrsK

I would just have 2 MOH. Trust me she will be talking about it for years to come if you ask her to step down!

Shof

I was a MOH in a friends wedding, She lived 2 hours away and I could never make it when she needed me last minute.  I was demoted to bridesmaid at the rehersal. The way I found out was when I showed up at the rehersal the other bridesmaid was wearing a tshirt that said MOH. OUCH!  It really hurt, needless to say, we haven't talked much since her wedding 3 years ago.  I would suggest if you want any further contact with her just tell her there are 2 MOH.  I 've been in another wedding where I was MOH and her sister was MOH.  SO that worked out better!