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Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note

I came across this on the Emily POst site today: http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2010/11/self-addressed-when-the-bride-asks-you-to-address-your-thank-you-note/

How do you feel about being asked to self-address your thank-you at showers?  I see this more and more to the point that I think it is becoming the norm.  But after reading this I may ask my MOH and the family friend that are throwing my showers to kindly not do this.  II am split on this.
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Re: Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note

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    dibsontopdibsontop member
    First Anniversary 5 Love Its First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Ugh, I was so mad that my BMs did this at my shower.  I had NEVER heard of it before, but I really didn't like it.  They didn't hand out the envelopes, but they did have them in a pile at the bar for people to pick up.  A handful of people filled them out, but I'd say most still didn't.  I don't know if they were offended or just didn't know what they were supposed to be doing.

    ETA:  It also wasn't really a time saver for me.  I wrote my thank yous in an order that worked for me and had to sort through looking to see if that person had an envelope already or not.  It was a pain.

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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been to a shower before where we had to do this, and I didn't care, but EVERONE around me was APPAULED at this. They were saying left and right, "we drive here, we buy you a gift, you can't even address our thank you card?" Meanwhile, the bride a lot of times, has NO IDEA this is happening...

    Just my .02 cents.

    I must note, my BM's wanted to do this, and my sister MOH veto'd it VERY quickly. I personally was glad, as I was perfectly fine addressing all the envelopes on my own, I liked the personal touches that are so rarely done these days. Weddings are the one thing where there is still something personal (invite in the mail, thank you cards, rsvp back, hand written notes etc.).
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    edited December 2011
    Personally, I have turned my nose up at this a few times and would have been kinda upset if this was done at my shower. I know it is a time-saver but I just think it is something that should be done by the thanker, herself (himself).
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    SteveandKrisSteveandKris member
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    edited December 2011

    I agree with most of the PP, I would be sort of pissed off that you couldn't take the time to address the note yourself

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    edited December 2011
    I've seen it done before.  I didn't mind.  The bridesmaids made it into a game where the bride randomly picked one out of the pile and that person won a prize.  It was weird though to get something in the mail a while later with my own handwriting on it.  I would prefer to write out my envelopes myself.
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    edited December 2011
    I have never heard of this!

    My mom did buy a phone book to have every one write down their name number and address. Granted I have every one's addresses saved in an excel file and their phone numbers in my cell but I liked the "old school" feel of having a phone book!
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_self-addressed-asked-address-shower-thank?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:4ae7a3b7-2588-457e-9a8e-60d0c767c5dfPost:1d1cfadc-dc1d-4242-86ca-6d553bfeb825">Re: Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note</a>:
    [QUOTE]I have never heard of this! My mom did buy a phone book to have every one write down their name number and address. Granted I have every one's addresses saved in an excel file and their phone numbers in my cell but I liked the "old school" feel of having a phone book!
    Posted by nicole8586[/QUOTE]

    This doens't bother me NEARLY as much, as you are still writing out the TY cards, they are just writing the newest address they have.
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    edited December 2011
    I went to a shower where they did this and it didn't bug me too much, although I agree with pp when I got the envelope in the mail and it was my writing I was a little confused at first (clearly I forgot that fast..!)  
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    Cackle6Cackle6 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I've been to some baby showers where this was done, but no wedding showers. It didn't bother me at all for the baby showers, and it probably wouldn't at a wedding shower either, but I wouldn't want it done at my shower, as I'd rather hand write the thank you's. 

    But with the baby showers I thought it was a good idea, because the new parents would be pretty frazzled and what not. We went to a shower were the girl went into early labor the next day, so I'm sure she appreciated having those already done since she ended up not having time to send them out before the baby came!
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    amy727amy727 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    This is done a lot in Pittsburgh.  I don't mind it at all.  It was very helpful.  If my BM's didn't do this I would have just printed labels for the thank you notes. 

    I've never heard of anyone being annoyed at this.  Maybe it's a regional thing. 
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    Amerbutt81Amerbutt81 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    >>My mom did buy a phone book to have every one write down their name number and address<<

    This is kind of a cute idea actually.  I was really scrambling around trying to get updated addressed for the wedding invites, so I would have loved this!
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    mana8503mana8503 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    <<I've never heard of anyone being annoyed at this.  Maybe it's a regional thing. >>

    I'm finding this is be true with many etiquette things.  Then again, FI and my families usually do the church ceremony, potluck reception, cake and that's it, no music... etc etc.  I'm pretty sure FMIL thinks I'm a hoighty toighty yankee with the wedding costing more the 5K. 

    I digress...I've seen this, and done this for the bridal shower I helped host as a MOH.  If there were sideeyes, or disagreement I didn't notice. 

    Nicole - LOVE the phonebook idea!
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    edited December 2011
    How did the guests get invited to the shower?  Ummmm.... by a mailed invitation perhaps? 

    I don't understand the point of self-addressing an envelope when the host/guest of honor obviously already has access to addresses.  It's just unnecessary IMO.
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    edited December 2011
    Wow I have never heard of this before. But I have to agree with the dislikes on this one. I think the point of a Thank you is putting in the personal time and thought. I have everyone's addresses in the master guest list spreadsheet anyway. But now that I've heard of it I'll have to ask that they kindly not do that!
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    amy727amy727 member
    First Anniversary First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think there is anything personal or thoughtful when writing someone's address onto an envelope.
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    mana8503mana8503 member
    First Anniversary Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_self-addressed-asked-address-shower-thank?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:4ae7a3b7-2588-457e-9a8e-60d0c767c5dfPost:91b0fd0f-68a1-4445-8440-5252d4a0727e">Re: Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note</a>:
    [QUOTE]I don't think there is anything personal or thoughtful when writing someone's address onto an envelope.
    Posted by amy727[/QUOTE]

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    edited December 2011
    I never thought of this. I don't know that I would mind doing it for someone but I will make sure to tell my sister not to do this. I mean I have been to two showers recently where I didn't even get a thank you note so if self addressing would have made that happen I would have been glad to do it.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_self-addressed-asked-address-shower-thank?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:4ae7a3b7-2588-457e-9a8e-60d0c767c5dfPost:742b574c-f022-4f6c-a1e8-332ac95483b2">Re: Self-addressed: When you are asked to address your shower thank-you note</a>:
    [QUOTE]How did the guests get invited to the shower?  Ummmm.... by a mailed invitation perhaps? <strong> I don't understand the point of self-addressing an envelope when the host/guest of honor obviously already has access to addresses.  It's just unnecessary IMO.
    </strong>Posted by miguelhilary2010[/QUOTE]

    I agree with this and this is why it just comes across as lazy and "cutting corners" to me... Like you said, it isn't like the host/guest of honor NEEDS the addresses.
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    edited December 2011
    In my circle of friends, the bridesmaids buy thank you notes for the bride and address them for her, so she doesn't have to do it, but the guests don't have to do it either.  It's a win-win!
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    nancyrnancyr member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't get offended, it wouldn't be my choice but wow it's just my name and address... the one that got me was the time our entire family (my mom, brothers, sister etc. all got invited to a family member's wedding and got one TY note for all of our shower gifts AND wedding gifts on a single note that said "THANKS" preprinted on the front and the brides name inside...THAT WAS TACKY! For that number of people we were looking at 20 gifts total... you'd think she could have at least written out her notes and sent one to each address! I guess I was just brought up to write a TY note for each gift so I wrote seperate notes for each shower gift and each wedding gift--it didn't take that much time.  The next thing I'm afraid we'll see is mass email thank you notes!
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