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October 2009 Weddings

Bounced check etiquette

Yep, it happened and from a good friend who I always thought was financially secure.  (This make me really think she's supporting her bf of a year).  Do I ignore this, say something?  She's got to know, right?  Thankfully, I've never bounced a check so I don't know what kind of notice you get from it.  Help!I have talked to her since the wedding as I called her on her bday last wkend.  She was w/ a friend and din't say anything and didn't sound awkward.  hmmm

Re: Bounced check etiquette

  • She knows because her bank has charged or will charge her an nsf fee.  Unfortunately, you can't say anything.  If you do, you may come off looking gift grabby although she's the really the one in the wrong (I'm sure you would have been just as happy with no gift--she shouldn't have written what she knew was a bad check.).
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  • I was always under the impression that as a personal account holder, and bounced check doesn't affect you, only her. A business account would be out the money, but a personal account would get the money and her account would be charged a fee and drafted the money when available. Maybe I'm wrong about this though, and it isn't that way for all banks, maybe its just the ones that DH and I go to.
  • ya i was gonna say the same thing. Say i gave a check to someone and i didnt have the money in my acct. They could go cash it just fine but then my bank would automatically move money from my savings into my checking to cover the cost. Sometimes banks charge u for overdrafting but it should never be a problem for the person who is cashing the check
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  • that really sucks of your friend to do that to you! I would say something to her but, that's just me. she knows! banks usually pay peoples checks unless they have nsf history. banks understand stuff happens to people, they do want to spare the client the embarrassment by paying the clients check and charging a fee. unless they have had excessive bounced checks then they don't pay and still charge the nsf feeyou will get a charge for a returned item. the bank I work at charges the client $6 for the process of going through the trouble to send the check back to you. it wont affect you in any way. I would ask what they charge for charged back check.
  • I doubt she knew that it would bounce.  People miscalculate when incoming checks will clear, or get disorganized in their record-keeping, or whatever.  But there would be no point in her giving you a check she knew wouldn't clear--it would just result in your getting nothing and her having a bounced check fee.My suggestion would be to wait a week and try to redeposit the check.  By that time, she will probably have received notice of the bounced check and may have gotten her account back in order.  If that doesn't work, then you'll just have to see whether she says something.  I agree with others that you can't confront her about this.
  • I worked in banking for over 10 years, and I can tell you that #1 She may not know right away that her check has bounced. #2 She will get charged, but until they send her a notice in the mail, it could be a week or more until she finds the cause of the problem. #3 The person who deposited the check (you) will also probably incur a fee, usually in the $10 range. You should absolutely say something because it will become obvious that you know about it and create an awkward situation between the two of you. If you're good friends, shouldn't you be able to talk about such things? It was probably just an accounting error on her part, so keep it light-hearted and try to laugh it off. It happens all the time and really isn't that big of a deal unless you turn it into one! GL!
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  • Thanks for all the advice girls.  There is absolutely no way she would have known it would bounce, she is one of the most giving people I know.  She's a great friend, but it's just still really an awkward subject.
  • She knows! It happened to me too! I got a fee charge for it too. I kindly told her about it and asked for the money back and the fee ($5). She was sweet about it and brought me the cash the next day.
  • I'm a little late adding in to this....but you can always say that you are concerned that her identity or bank card got stolen. That really might be the case.
  • We actually had the same thing happen to us. My bank sent me a letter letting me know a check was returned due to isf. I knew my friend was having troubles due to not working and was surprised to get a check from her. Then of course it bounced. I haven't talked to her sincethe wedding, but I am sure she knows by now her check bounced.
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  • Say something to your friend just to let her know, but don't ask for the money or the fee. Her check bounced. If she can give you the money, great. If not, so be it. It's only like $10.
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