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December 2009 Weddings

Fiance attending shower???

Hi again ladies,So, recently I've been to a couple jack and jill showers, and I once went to a shower where the groom was there with the bride opening gifts.  Every other shower I have been to, is just all ladies.  Two of my bridesmaids said that it is common practice in New England to have the groom there.  I'm from Chicago originally, and my bridesmaids from Chicago are telling me to only have the ladies, and no groom.  What is everyone here doing?  I am leaning towards only ladies, as that's sort of what I grew up with.  Thanks!!!

Re: Fiance attending shower???

  • The majority of showers I've been to (unless it's a couples shower), it's just all ladies.  I've been to a couple where the groom shows up at the end to say thanks and help with the gifts. My first shower was thrown by FI's side of the family and he had some OOT aunts he wanted to see, so he did come at the end to eat some leftovers and say thanks. My next shower happens to be the weekend of his bachelor party so he won't be stopping by.  It's being thrown by my side of the family so he would only come at the very end if I needed him to help get gifts home.
  • I HATE the idea of Jack and Jill showers. Showers are incredibly boring for women, having men there to complain that their missing some sporting event makes it even less tolerable. That being said my Fiancee is coming later with my dad to the shower my aunt is having to help drive things back and eat leftovers. Since his mother insisted on a Mega Shower (100 ppl!!!! >:(  that I totally opposed) I am insisting he be there the whole time to keep me from passing out with anxiety.
  • 100 ppl...I think I would pass out!  I am already so nervous about the 50 ppl coming to mine!  Yes, good I am glad you girls are saying only ladies, because that's what I wanted, and that's kinda what I always thought.  Whew.  Mark would be BOREEEEED to tears, and plus I don't get to see my mom and sis often and it will be fun time to spend with just them and my girls.  Thanks so much!  
  • We're having both. My MOH and my mom's friends are throwing some girls only showers and his side is throwing a couples shower. I live in the south and had never heard of couples showers till FI's brother got married, but I guess its a growing trend. Personally, I think that showers of any kind are just torture for men. I know FI does not want to go, but he may perk up if someone gives him some power tools of something.
  • This doesn't really apply, but it's a funny story so I thought I would share. I was talking to FI about a month ago about how one my BM's convinced me to have a shower because of the games. I love games! Anyway, FI isn't very informative of wedding lingo and thought I was talking about the bachelorette party so he started talking about what his brother is planning for his bachelor party. I explained to him what a shower was and he asked if his brother was supposed to throw him one too. I told him no, that he doesn't get a shower, to which he replies, "What? I get a bath??" Hahaha!! It still makes me laugh!!
    Jama and Billy are getting married! - hitchedtickers.com
  • saschb, I am ready to pass out. I literally have to talk myself down a few times a week. I've spent my entire life trying to blend in! People tried to convince his mom that I would hate this but she wasn't grasping. She loves the limelight and can't imagine someone else wouldn't. My mom says since its so many people she won't make me give a speech or anything, just sending the thankyou notes will suffice.
  • Well I had a ladies only shower during the summer. But we are having a couples Jack&Jill shower in 2 months. It's going to be sports themed. haha We are having it during a big football (or soccer) game. We will be grilling out. And basically just having a big party. Them during half time we will be opening gifts. That's the extent of shower stuff. No stupid games, no silly old women asking when we are having kids, none of that. Just a good ole' party w. friends.
  • Thanks for all of your responses.  I am going to stick with all girls, but my thought on the matter is that if you are going to have the fiance there, do a jack and jill so at least he has his buddies there and they can talk sports and man stuff, and that he's not the only guy in the room.  I just thought that was pure torture to even think of doing!  Anyway, thanks as always ladies!
  • A couple weeks ago I had two showers. The first one was a traditional ladies only shower hosted by FI's aunt and family friend but he did stop by at the end to say thanks (because he knew more people there than I did) and loaded up all the gifts :) Then later we had a casual couples "shower" that involved catered BBQ, a DJ, 10 gallons of margaritas, and a keg of miller lite. It started at 6pm and lasted until 2am. It was the best party I've ever been to. So, these days, I think you can do whatever you want and/or whatever suits you and your FI best. Just have fun with it!
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