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NWR.... opinion.

Because I am bored help me talk to my friend about something...

So my friend is dating a guy, about 3-4 months now and he lives alone. He posted an ad somewhere asking for a room mate, well someone responded. It is a 23 year old single girl. My friend has a beef with this. Not because she does not trust her boyfriend but because she does not trust the 'skanky potential homewrecker', and 'has no interest in becoming friends with her'.

I told her that she doesn't know anything about this girl. Just because she's a girl and will live with her bf does not mean she's going to steal him from you.   She might end up being super nice and become friends with you!! 

What do you all think?

Re: NWR.... opinion.

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    mana8503mana8503 member
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    edited December 2011
    I wouldn't like it either, but I wouldn't take it as far as calling her names and unwilling to get to know her.  I would ask if that was the only prospective roomate and if any males applied...
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    If my b/f picked a girl as a roomate, I wouldn't not be okay with that unless they were previous friends for a while.
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    edited December 2011
    I mean... I understand her feelings on having a 23 yr old girl move in with her boyfriend, but I agree with you that she hasn't even met this person yet.  For all she knows, she's a lesbian... or in a fully committed relationship.  Or a nun.  (okay, maybe not a nun). 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_nwr-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:5865c40f-8592-409c-aaf6-9478adc2449aPost:c823a06f-b597-473b-bc88-113f2a3d7174">Re: NWR.... opinion.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I mean... I understand her feelings on having a 23 yr old girl move in with her boyfriend, but I agree with you that she hasn't even met this person yet.  For all she knows, she's a lesbian... or in a fully committed relationship.  Or a nun.  (okay, maybe not a nun). 
    Posted by RecoveringActor[/QUOTE]

    THIS. Minus the nun part.

    Really? A nun? :)
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    edited December 2011
    id be a little uneasy about it myself, however, bills need to get paid....  plus if she does turn out to be a homewrecker, than she did your friend some good by getting this guy out of her life..
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    edited December 2011

    I felt like I needed to have a 3rd option, and couldn't think of anything else. 

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    amy727amy727 member
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    edited December 2011
    I think it would depend on a few things.  Why is he getting a roommate now?  Can he afford to live on his own? 

    I personally wouldn't like my bf living with a girl, but they also haven't been dating that long.... I guess what I'm saying is I'm not sure haha.
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    edited December 2011
    Yea I told her to just not act like a jealous crazy girl. That would not be good. I get that she is a little leery about it. And her BF has never even roomed with a girl ever, so it might be strange for him even....   and she could be a big, fat, ugly lesbian. But she is single and 23, so my friend might just be thinking 'hot porn star' in her head haha. 

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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm sorry, but if I had an apt. and was looking for a roomate, and decided to let some single guy move in, DH would be pissed, and I have plenty of guy friends and hang out etc. and he's not jealous. But living with some stranger of the opposite sex.... no. esp. when the relationship is still so new. If my b/f didn't respect that I was uncomfortable with it, end of relationship.
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    edited December 2011
    I love how it lets me say lesbian but not lesbooo.  TK is nuts.
     
    Yea he just moved to this apartment not too long ago, so I guess he moved there in the thinking he would get a roommate after he moved in? IDK about that part.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    Also, I would care less if there were say, multiple people in a house, like 5, and there were 3 girls two guys, or 2 girls and 3 guys.. but the one on one thing, no.
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    edited December 2011
    It is fishy, not gonna lie. 
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    edited December 2011
    She told him to go on roommates.com and look for one, she went on there, and then found a dude for him, but he did not call him. 


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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_nwr-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local Wedding BoardsForum:105Discussion:5865c40f-8592-409c-aaf6-9478adc2449aPost:773428ba-aff9-4c16-bd58-e662de28359f">Re: NWR.... opinion.</a>:
    [QUOTE]She told him to go on roommates.com and look for one, she went on there, and then found a dude for him, but he did not call him. 
    Posted by Bride_to_be_2011[/QUOTE]

    This is when I'd walk. Not worth my time for someone who doesn't respect my feelings, esp. on a topic like this.. No thank you. Although, I put up with BS for so long... after my ex, wasn't putting up with any of it. Luckily DH is great, but yeah no... this is not okay.
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    edited December 2011
    I dreampt of living with a guy in college b/c I hated girls, but all my guy friends were horndogs and I didn't trust them :)

    I can see why your friend is upset, but it's been a few months that they've been dating and that's hardly serious in my book (sorry Cara!).  She has no right to dictate anything that he does at this point, especially when she's forming such a strong opinion without ever meeting the girl. 
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    edited December 2011
    Oh it is not like he doesn't respect her, I guess he really sees nothing wrong with it. I met him on NYE, he seems really nice and sweet.   And treats her very well from what I heard from her.

    I just told her to relax, cuz she doesn't want to seem like a nut ball and push him away.

    She kinda is really swooning over this boy, and she is 'falling for him'. She was hoping to hear I LOVEYOU on NYE, so that is how she feels about him now. I told her to chill, wait for him to say it.  That is a whole other story though.
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    edited December 2011
    Yeah. It is kinda fishy, but seriously. They've been together for such a short time that she shouldn't reeeallly be getting her panties in a bunch. Would I be uncomfortable? Yeah. But when I was 23, would I rather live with a guy than a girl? YEEESS. Your friend needs to remember that even hot pornstars fart and poop too. She's a human, like the rest of us. Just looking for somewhere to live. If they're 'meant to be', then there won't be an issue with a female roomie. Hell, she'll be able to help him shop for her, help dress him so he doesn't embarass himself in public, and there will always be tampons in the bathroom when she goes over... Upsides!
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    edited December 2011
    haha paprika I love it! You are right though about all of it.

    So he bought a HOUSE, I thought it was an apt.  So that is why. She said he bought the house and even though he can afford it on his own, it would  be better if he had a roommate to split the costs with. 

    I hope she just chills out.
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_nwr-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:5865c40f-8592-409c-aaf6-9478adc2449aPost:e0c97a96-b68a-40a6-95ba-37f26b814168">Re: NWR.... opinion.</a>:
    [QUOTE]I can see why your friend is upset, but it's been a few months that they've been dating and that's hardly serious in my book (sorry Cara!).  [/QUOTE]

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    edited December 2011
    Wait, so he bought a house, he can afford it, and he wants to be more financially responsible by having a roommate to split the costs with instead of just eating the entire cost for himself? Which means that he'll have more in savings?

    Boo. I'd be angry too. :)

    As long as it's a 2 bedroom house, no worries!
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    edited December 2011
    I guess he doesn't want to be house poor. He could have been hunting for a house while he was just meeting my friend too. So it is not like he should just stop everything because he met someone.   


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    edited December 2011
    Cara - you can smack me Saturday :)

    Ok a house is even less of an issue IMO because there is more space for them to not be on top of each other (literally and figuratively).  Between work and spending time with your friend, he may hardly ever see the roommate chick.

    And maybe he didn't call the guy because he's not manly like that.  Seriously.  It may be easier on him and his ego to go with the chick that reached out to him.  Plus, maybe he's hoping a girl would be cleaner and not mess up his house that he OWNS.
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    edited December 2011
    B2B- that was my sarcasm going unnoticed. She's a little crazy for being upset that this person who she's dating wants to be financially responsible, rather than just house poor.

    She's clearly thinking long term with this guy, maybe they need to have a convo of some sort to see where they both stand on that situation first?
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_nwr-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:5865c40f-8592-409c-aaf6-9478adc2449aPost:5b56f352-53a3-4bc5-8db7-94c834603b94">Re: NWR.... opinion.</a>:
    [QUOTE]Cara - you can smack me Saturday :) Ok a house is even less of an issue IMO because there is more space for them to not be on top of each other (literally and figuratively).  Between work and spending time with your friend, he may hardly ever see the roommate chick. And maybe he didn't call the guy because he's not manly like that.  Seriously.  It may be easier on him and his ego to go with the chick that reached out to him.  Plus, maybe he's hoping a girl would be cleaner and not mess up his house that he OWNS.
    Posted by miguelhilary2010[/QUOTE]

    Oh I forgot that she works over nights, so she will most likely  be asleep when he is at home at night. Some people that work nights go home after work and get things done, and then go to bed until they work again.

    And you are right about the second part, he might want a neat person, which some men are NOT neat at all. 

    I think she got over it, she is not writing me back about it anymore. :) 
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    edited December 2011
    As usual, I am getting in late on this, but ditto RA about her probably being a fat lesbian and paprika about her farting, pooping, and it being SO much easier to live with men than women.  I am also coming from the perspective of having multiple close male friends myself and of knowing a few male friends who have lived perfectly platonically with women.

    I say that before the boyfriend lets her move in, he should interview her to get to know her (which is fairly standard procedure, right?).  Girlfriend can sit in on said interview as a means of getting to know her, and she gets a say after that point on whether it'll be a good living situation or not.  If I were the 23-year-old fat lesbian pooping nun, I would be completely understanding about those terms. 
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    edited December 2011
    In Response to <a href="http://forums.theknot.com/Sites/theknot/Pages/Main.aspx/local-wedding-boards_pennsylvania-philadelphia_nwr-opinion?plckFindPostKey=Cat:Local%20Wedding%20BoardsForum:105Discussion:5865c40f-8592-409c-aaf6-9478adc2449aPost:ea0e43ab-86af-4092-b5b2-49bef08783b1">Re: NWR.... opinion.</a>:
    [QUOTE]As usual, I am getting in late on this, but ditto RA about her probably being a fat lesbian and paprika about her farting, pooping, and it being SO much easier to live with men than women.  I am also coming from the perspective of having multiple close male friends myself and of knowing a few male friends who have lived perfectly platonically with women. I say that before the boyfriend lets her move in, he should interview her to get to know her (which is fairly standard procedure, right?).  Girlfriend can sit in on said interview as a means of getting to know her, and she gets a say after that point on whether it'll be a good living situation or not.  <strong>If I were the 23-year-old fat lesbian pooping nun, I would be completely understanding about those terms. </strong>
    Posted by LaRositaMonita[/QUOTE]

    LMAO!! And yes I told her that she should maybe meet her as well, and her bf should have no problem with that. But who knows what will happen either. She is making a big deal out of something that has not even happened yet.
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I'm late and too lazy to read all of the responses (I apologize if I'm pointing out something someone already said, I have pink eye and reading with one eye is hurting me.) but I agree with everything I read from BP.

    I wouldn't like the idea of a new boyfriend living with a girl.  Honestly, if it were me or DH, I wouldn't feel comfortable with them living with a stranger at all.  Note, even if she is a lesbian; I know lesbians and they don't mind experimenting, get my drift?

    Back to the point though, if she's not comfortable with it, he should move on to a guy roommate search.  This should be done maturely by her though, without name calling and labeling.  She should just tell him how she feels and if the relationship is worth it, he'll respect her for her honesty.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Larosita, I've got no problem with current friend that is a girl co rooming... it's the stranger that bothers me.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
    Combo Breaker First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Also, say said bf/gf get in a huge fight, it happens. BF is really upset about it, goes home, girl at home is comforting, understanding, just there for him, as a stranger "friend". It won't ever rub me the right way, one bedrooom apartment or three bedroom house...
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    edited December 2011
    She said she would back off for now.  So I hope the girl hates the house so her BF can just keep looking for a roomie.
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