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April 2010 Weddings

Would I be monopilizing my BM's time?

Okay, I posted this on the pre-wedding parties board but I'm not getting any responses, so I thought I'd ask my trusted April Knotties:

I am trying to decide if I want to have a bridesmaid's tea the day before the wedding, but I can't decide if I would be monopilzing everyone's time. It would have to be the day before because everyone lives around the state and that's the only time we'll all be in the same place.

The tea would be from 2-3:30. Then the rehearsal is schedule for 4pm. The rehearsal dinner (just the bridal party, their significant others and parents) would be after that, probably around 6ish. Then FMIL wants to have all the OOT guests (basically the entire wedding guest list)  to her house for drinks and dessert so everyone can meet and mingle.

When I write it all out is seems like a lot to do in one afternoon. I just wanted to do something nice for my bridesmaids and have a chance to relax with the girls. What do you think, is it too much?

By the way, the wedding isn't until 5pm the next day, so there's plenty of time to recover from all this.

Re: Would I be monopilizing my BM's time?

  • Maybe instead of lunch/brunch you can all go out and get mani/pedis? I always find that relaxing!
  • I think it's fine!! Your bridesmaids want to spend as much time with YOU as possible - and they've pretty much designated this weekend as "yours" so I think an early afternoon activity would be nice.

    Also could you move it to more like noon-ish to give a little more break time before the rehearsal? That might give them some extra time to relax and freshen up
  • Well the tea shop that I'm looking at only offers tea at 2pm each day. And I was shooting for early afternoon because the boys are golfing in the morning and one of my bridesmaid is having a baby in January, her husband is my FI's brother, so they'll need to trade baby duties. Confusing, I know.

    Also, the tea shop is really close to where the wedding is going to be, so it'll be a 10 min drive to get to the rehearsal. There wouldn't really be enough time to go back home and then the rehearsal.
  • It can't hurt to see what they think.  You never know; they may love the idea of spending the day doing all this stuff with you since it's a special occasion.  If the guys aren't back from golfing that day, is there a grandparent or aunt/uncle that can keep the baby for an hour or so?
    We were supposed to do a BM lunch the day of my friend's rehearsal this past fall but it fell thru because the mom and sisters of the bride were far away, there were a lot of younger kids involved and it was going to be a lot of running around for some people so she decided to skip it after all.

  • I think it would be fine.  Personally I'm not a tea drinker so it wouldn't be my thing but if your BM's are into it then go for it.
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  • I think it sounds like a long day.

    However, if they don't all live in the area, then like a PP said their day is probably shot already (meaning, it's not like they'd be doing something at their own home), so maybe it doesn't matter.

    Would they be staying at a hotel? Or driving in? If they're at a hotel I think it's O.K. because they'd otherwise probably be doing nothing in their rooms ... but if they'd be driving in then I think it's a lot to ask because they'd have to leave sooner and maybe even rush to get there in time.

    When in doubt, ask them!
  • my bridesmaids will all be showing up no later than thursday prior to the wedding, per their personal preference to be there and be involved in things. most of them are out of town so they're looking forward to actually doing something with me since they haven't been able to be involved as of yet. for them, they'd look forward to being swamped and being with me doing these things, but that's simply because we haven't had the opportunity and they'll already be here. if they were all arriving on friday i think it could pose some problems in ensuring arrivals and hotel check-ins and whatnot...if you're wanting the festivities to be a surprise i'd recommend just mentioning that you wanted to do something special for all of them, together around 2:00 the day of the rehearsal and ask if they'll be available.
    may flower
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