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Corsgaes-WWYD?

Lotus1021Lotus1021
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in Colorado-Denver
Hi Ladies! I could really use your advice/help. My grandma passed away in November and my grandpa has quickly fallen in love with another woman. They are getting married two weeks after us. My question is should I order a corsage for his new fiance to wear at our wedding? TIA!
JuneFlowers
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Re: Corsgaes-WWYD?

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    Lotus1021Lotus1021
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    edited December 2011
    sorry I cant spell, it should say corsages
    JuneFlowers
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    mouse10031978mouse10031978
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    edited December 2011
    Wow- that is a hard one.  Funny you mention this because I have had two grandparents do practically this same thing.  How do you feel about this woman?  It was hard for me emotionally to accept a "replacement" so soon when I was young, but now that I am older, I realize that I think it is just the companionship and a friend that thy crave and for that generation that means marriage.  I guess if you don't have a problem with her, I would go ahead and get her one since they are getting married. 
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    chelbell326chelbell326 member
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    edited December 2011
    Personally, I would get her one (but that's because I never want to hurt anyone's feelings...its a sickness I tell you! LOL).  I think it is a nice gesture since they are getting married, but its really up to you & your FI. 
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    COkristiCOkristi member
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    edited December 2011
    I would probably go ahead and get her one since they are engaged, but only if it won't offend anyone in your family.
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    Lotus1021Lotus1021
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    edited December 2011
    To be honest, I hardly know her (only been around her a few times) but so far I'm not too impressed and I think that is why I am struggling so much with this. It is hard not to compare her to my grandma. I am really happy for my grandpa because he is happy but I feel like I am caught in the middle. I dont want to upset other family members by including her "too much" because everyone thinks he is moving way too fast, but on the other hand I think it would be a nice gesture and after all they are getting married. Oh boy I dont know what to do, thank you all for your input!
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    velocitygrlvelocitygrl member
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    edited December 2011
    I'd get her one.  It is a nice gesture to include her into your family.  Like it or not, if she is getting married to your grandpa she's going to be a part of his (and your family's) life, so you might as well try to make her feel happy and welcomed.FWIW- I've seen this problem from two perspectives.  My grandmother's 2nd husband was my "Grandpa", and he is really a part of our family- and they married just 1 year after my "real" grandfather died.  My DH's grandfather's 2nd wife was always treated as a 2nd class citizen by his family- for no good reason other than the fact that she wasn't his grandmother, and it is always really stressful and a PITA and caused a lot of animosity for everyone. 
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    steffenfamsteffenfam member
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    edited December 2011
    Yes, definitely include her.  It's hard because you can imagine him only with your Grandma, but as a previous poster said, older men can't seem to function without someone.  I've seen it many, many times that widowers marry very soon after the death of their wife.  And it is definitely more of a "companionship" thing than "the love of his life".  So if you can see it in that perspective, maybe it will be easier to understand.
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    amberlyroseamberlyrose member
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    edited December 2011
    I had the same problem as velocity's DH, even though she was the "grandma" in my life. My uncle and aunt were mad that I always called her grandma, and didn't even come to the wedding because of it (I think). I would get her a corsage, but maybe you can ask the florist to make it a bit smaller so she can feel included, it will make your grandfather feel like you accept his decision, but its not as big as the other grandmothers and mothers who have been a big part of your lives. Weddings are supposed to be about unity and love, and it may be hard to accept that love as a family member, but remember how unconditionally your grandfather loved you.
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    Lotus1021Lotus1021
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    edited December 2011
    Thank you ladies VERY MUCH! I really appreciate all of your advice and I plan to get her a corsage :-) Thanks again
    JuneFlowers
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    canary11canary11 member
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    edited December 2011
    My grandfather passed away recently, too, and my poor grandma is heartbroken. If I could pin a corsage onto whatever makes her happy, I would, including the cat. If she makes him happy and lively again, I hope you'll include her as best as you can. And you can always have an extra flower or candle to tribute your late grandmother.
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    canary11canary11 member
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    edited December 2011
    also, for my own grandmother, I am having my florist put a small hummingbird in her corsage, as my grandfather loved them so much.
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    charlsie26charlsie26
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    edited December 2011
    get her the corsage and say, 'welcome to the family"
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