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Thank You note etiquette

DH's great aunt who could not attend the wedding mailed us a check before the wedding.  She mailed it to ILs house.  FIL gave DH the card the morning of the wedding.  We haven't written her a thank you note yet b/c we are waiting for our custom made thank you notes to arrive (they should be here by Wednesday).  These are the cards we're mailing to our guests.  We wrote thank you notes already for gifts given before the wedding to other guests who couldn't come.  Since we didn't get the card from his aunt til the day of, we combined it with gifts from the guests who attended. 

Problem is, MIL got an email from her cousin (aunts daughter) saying her mother is angry that she hasn't received a thank you note from us.  The cousin isn't worried about it and actually got a thank you from us already b/c we got her card a few weeks prior, she just wanted to make sure we didn't overlook her mom.   I'm a little upset about this, not mad, just worried that we should have sent her a generic thank you instead of the ones we're ordering.  I didn't realize it would be an issue.  We're very grateful for her gift and would hate to upset anyone.  I thought she'd appreciate the custom card with a picture. 

Did we mess up?
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Re: Thank You note etiquette

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    edited December 2011
    I think you're in the clear etiquette-wise - but now that it has become an issue, just maybe address it - explain it like you did here. Good luck!
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
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    edited December 2011
    I'm thinking of writing in the card something like "We're sorry this took so long....we really wanted to send you a card with a picture..."
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    edited December 2011
    I might just send her a generic card if she is going to be like all pissy pants.  You can always just print a pic out later and give it to her.
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    ButtonsPepperButtonsPepper member
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    edited December 2011
    Honestly, she probably saw the TY note to the relative and said ho humph where's mine? I gave a gift too! 

    In your thank you note, just say that since she couldn't be there, you wanted to make sure she got a thank you note with a picture of the two of you on it so she could still feel a part of the day etc. so sorry you couldn't be there blah blah. Sometimes etiquette and making someone feel better don't go hand in hand. etiquette wise you are in the clear, but her feelings were hurt that suzy q got one and she didn't.... so just smooth it out in the personalized ty to her. 
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    Stacylynn702Stacylynn702 member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    Thanks, this makes me feel better about it.  I'd just send her a generic one but since our TYs should be delivered Wednesday, I'll just make sure she's the first one we write.
    I just don't want to be rude.   I feel like this kind of thing is the wife's responsibility and I don't want to appear ungrateful.  We really appreciate the kindness and generousity from our family and friends.
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