Colorado-Denver

Office Ettiquette- Seems Obvious, but isn't!?

I just started working in a close-knit and small "office" environment where I interact with everyone, every day.  Although I've only been here a month, I know from previous experience with this sort of work that by next summer these will be my closest confidants.  My problem is, we're trying really, really hard to keep the wedding under 100 people and I have 48 close family members so it's a challenge!  Within the next couple of months I will be assigned a more specific task with a more direct supervisor, so I'm thinking I'll end up inviting him/her and maybe the other two or three people on our project.  BUT in a twelve person office, I feel like it's all or nothing!  Also, my boss is a brilliant man but not someone I think I'd be comfortable sharing an intimate celebration with.  I know etiquette dictates that I need to invite my boss, and then everyone directly above me, and then if I have room in the guest list I can invite my coworkers, but how much does it really matter in this day and age?  What about inviting my boss or the entire staff to the reception only (including dinner, of course)?  I DO spend time with coworkers outside of the office, but generally we all go out after a long day and leave the boss to go home to his family...You were all super helpful with my ceremony site question, so thank you again for that and for any advice you have here!!
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Re: Office Ettiquette- Seems Obvious, but isn't!?

  • edited December 2011
    I am in a similar situation but my office is a bit larger, and I have known/grown up with a lot of the people I work with. And I know it is "bad etiquette" to invite only the people you are close too but I did it anyways, but so did the other two people who have recently gotten married. Out of about 25-30 people I invited about 6 co-workers and their spouses. I think you can do whatever you want to, but I might get flamed for saying that. HTH!
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  • edited December 2011
    I say it's up to you too. I am really limited by the space we chose and am only inviting one close friend from work (who got me my job) and not even my boss. Even though I work in a close environment, I don't spend time with anyone outside of work (except my friend). I think it's your call.
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  • VAtoCOVAtoCO member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I don't think that etiquette dictates that you HAVE to invite your boss.  I think it is nice - especially if you like the person and think you'll maintain some kind of relationship with him/her if you were to leave or no longer work together.  But, if you feel kind of neutral about him/her and don't think that there would be hurt feelings, I see no need to mix business with personal.If it is 2-3 people out of 12, I would say just invite them and not everyone.  If it were reversed, and you'd only be leaving 2-3 people out, I'd say you should invite them all to avoid hard feelings (which is what we're doing with my FI's office). 
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  • jdoudyjdoudy member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    I was back and forth on this too. We have 12 people at my office and I finally decided to invite them all to the reception only. We are leaning more toward a small intimate ceremony so I think a lot of people on our guest list will end up with reception only invites which is good because then my office friends won't feel like they got the shaft :)
  • steffenfamsteffenfam member
    First Comment
    edited December 2011
    No way do you have to invite anyone from the office, even your boss.  If you become friends with someone, then sure.  (And by "friends" I mean that you become friends outside of work, and not just FAC type work functions.)
  • edited December 2011
    Don't feel obligated to invite your boss. The way I thought of it was would I regret not seeing them at my wedding, or am I just trying to please everyone? If you still want or need to keep the guest list down, don't cut friends or family who have been in your life for a long time for co-workers that you aren't familiar with now. Just remember, it's YOUR wedding!
  • edited December 2011
    Thanks for all your advice to do what feels right to us- I feel a lot less guilty about the whole situation now!  I think the best thing to do will be to invite my team, and probably my boss (he's moody and I am leaving this job a few months after the wedding, and since I want to part on good terms so it may be simplest to just invite him).  I just learned that we are getting in three more people this month, so that helped push the numbers too high to invite the whole group!
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